I painted yesterday. Dripped, stroked, spread, poured paint upon a canvas. Let it run, flow, move across the smooth white surface without any design other than to see what became visible in letting it flow.
And then, just as I got it to a point of saying, “ooooh, that’s nice” all it took to take it from that place to ‘ooooh, that’s not working’ was a spray of water that came out too hard, too fast, too directed. Rather than the mist I meant to give it, I got a blast of water that muddied up the design and turned it into not so nice.
Sometimes, I have to let go of what I was doing, and step away — before I take it over the edge into that place where the water muddies and the image becomes unclear.
That’s what wasn’t happening yesterday. The paint was pouring just right, the colourings mixing just so, the design flowing just the way it was meant to. But I wasn’t quite satisfied with how fast the paint was moving (I was creating a ‘poured’ painting) and decided to give it an extra blast of water. In the process, I gave it more than I expected and the result was not at all what I desired.
Like life, I sometimes forget to ‘Let go and let be.” Impatient, wanting it to be different, wanting it to go faster, flow differently, turn out another way, I leap in and force the results. And in my impatience, I end up overworking, over-doing, over-analyzing a situation and create a bigger mess than I anticipated. It’s that fine line of letting go to let be, rather than getting in to get dirty only to end up making a mess.
It is my habit — to get impatient and think I can hurry up the process by adding an element that doesn’t necessarily belong, but I think might hurry the process along. I forget, in my desire to make it flow my way, that miracles happen when I give myself room to breathe, to accept and move into the process. When I’m busy moving the process along the way I want it to go, there’s no room for the universe of wonder all around to work with me and create miracles.
It was a big realization yesterday as I scraped the muddy mess off my canvas and began all over again. I am the one who gets in the way of miracles happening all around me. I am the one diverting their flow.
Time to get out of my own way and let the wonder of the universe have its way within and all around me. Time to let go and let be.
I don’t have to be in control. I do need to give up trying to control every situation. And to do that, I need to trust in the flow and the process of creation.
I didn’t trust where and how the paint was flowing yesterday. I ended up making a mess.
Time to breathe in, breathe out and let go. Time to allow space for miracles to unfold.