I walked the streets yesterday. Oh, not like in the past where I posed as a prostitute to experience going eyeball to eyeball with a john. This street walking didn’t put me feeling at risk on the seedier side of life — even though I had two undercover police officers watching over me. This street walking wasn’t for research. It wasn’t to get deeper into what happens to a young girl’s psyche when selling her body for sex. This street walking was to get close to neighbours, to gain understanding of their concerns about a ‘Housing First’ apartment building in their neighbourhood which is part of our City’s 10 year plan to end homelessness.
Like my night on the street years ago, however, this street walking moved me to tears.
When working at the homeless shelter, I was often surprised by how many people came in with their workplace to volunteer, who when given a tour of the facility would say, “But aren’t you enabling people?”
My response was always the same. “Yes we are. We’re enabling them to stay alive.”
Housing people experiencing homelessness saves lives.
It doesn’t really matter what we think about the condition of their lives, they have the same right as you and me to be alive. And staying alive keeps hope alive that one day they will be able to make different choices.
In the almost six years that I worked at the shelter, I never once met someone who said, “I love being an addict.” or, “I dreamt my whole life about being homeless. I’m so grateful for finally achieving my goal.”
Being homeless, or being an addict is not a dream come true. It’s a nightmare.
Challenge is, it’s a nightmare that scares most of us and when we see it on our streets, we want to hide from its impact, avoid eye contact with its reality. We want it to go away. To disappear. To leave us alone.
It is our human nature. To avoid confronting things that make us uncomfortable.
I didn’t want to walk the streets yesterday. I didn’t want to knock on doors and introduce myself and explain why I was there.
I was afraid of how people would respond. Afraid of what they would say.
In the end, I didn’t need to fear. People are human beings. And, in highly charged emotional spaces, we humans tend to respond in highly charged, emotional ways.
It is in these spaces that deep listening is essential. It is in these spaces that listening with the intent to learn, to understand, to connect really makes a difference.
I walked the streets yesterday and knocked on doors and heard people’s fears, anger, confusion. I listened with an open mind and heart. I accepted the truth of their perceptions and stayed out of defensive rebuttals designed to prove them wrong. They are not wrong to feel the way they do. Based on their experience, on their observations of changes they see in their neighbourhood, there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to see what’s going on.
There is only their truth in what they perceive and always, there is truth in everything.
In their words, in their fear and concerns, there is truth. There also may be misconceptions, wrong impressions, misinformation, but allowing room for their truth to be heard is the first step to understanding what has happened, where things went sideways, where misinformation got spread, where wrong impressions got exposed.
I went street walking yesterday and, as happened years ago when I spent a night going eyeball to eyeball with johns, I came away moved by our human condition. I came away with a deeper empathy for the fragility of our human need to seek comfort, community, a sense of belonging. I came away with a deep appreciation of our human need to connect.
We are not wrong to fear what we don’t understand. It is our human condition.
And in our human condition there is only the truth of what we know, what we have experienced, what we have shared. In our human condition, no matter the past, however, there is always room to grow because in being human, there is no us and them. There is only us. We are all connected. All one humanity experiencing this thing called life. and in this experience, there is truth in everything and the truth will always shine light on darkness.
I found truth walking the streets yesterday and in its light, I was moved to tears.
Dare Boldly 
You are helping give dignity to those who need homes and bringing understanding to those who don’t yet know the joy of being part of the solution.
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What a lovely way to put it Jennifer. Thank you!
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LG,
First … I liked it.
Second … I see it has a great message – with one change I would recommend – that you can leverage into a keynote presentation, a long piece you could sell to a major magazine … or maybe another book.
My suggested tweak – most of the first paragraph is, while interesting, very distracting from your message which, despite tripping yourself with the opening, comes through as an awesome message.
Recommended ….. make the piece bigger, stronger, more fullsome with examples of success stories and failure stories – make it a 90 minute keynote, make a YouTube video of this short piece as a commercial for the bigger piece – and take it on the road.
My friend, this is one of the most powerful pieces you’ve ever done {except for that opening you should fix}.
Call me to discuss … any time. Can I be your agent? Seriously, and I mean this very seriously – you have a tendency sometimes to underestimate the quality and impact of your writing. You know I’m not one for easy praise or for blowing unwarranted sunshine your way … so trust me when I tell you this pieces is awesome!
Cheers,
Mark
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Thank you Mark — and yes, I will call you for more editing — I kinda knew I was fuzzy at the beginning, but… lol — the time was short and I needed to write it out and I needed the ‘safety’ of the comparison to get to where I wanted to go and then I didn’t have the time to go back and edit.
and thank you for your comments about the quality and impact of my writing. I am listening!
I’m coaching at Choices this weekend but will connect next week.
Hugs
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There is a tendency to become defensive when we just want others to understand the way we see things – and not just in the homeless sector. I love how you heard their truths Louise! We need to stop being offended at their words and take in the spirit of what they’re saying. This is community. This is exactly what needs to be done. We need to hear with our hearts. We need to validate what others are feeling. We need to address their fears. We need to keep coming back and asking if their fears are now addressed – if they feel safe now. Some would say you are facilitating housing. I think you are building community. I’m glad that you are out there building community.
xo
Diana
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It’s the staying -non-defensive’ that is so important Diana. And great advice — keep coming back to ask and understand. As Stephen Covey says — seek first to understand before being understood. Hugs
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I think Mark’s right, Louise. You could turn this into a public service announcement for Housing First, too.
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Thanks Maureen. I like that idea!
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Hi Louise,
Your piece touched me to tears here in Prague:) and I have been saying little prayers and lighting candles in some of the beautiful churches here in the city for our work, clients and community.
I wish I could be there on Sunday for the agm but am glad we will have a presence with Nicole and Adam.
I did have a few thoughts…and forgive me as it is 330 in the morning and I am heading for lituania fairly shortly. These thoughts may not be helpful….given my tiredness at the moment.
We all wish that we did not have social problems in our communities, but we do and therefore it is much more practical to respond to them.
The visible homeless population only make up roughly 4% of Calgarians struggling with addiction in our city….this is true for most cities across the country. Therefore, addiction in general is a difficult issue for many calgarians and significantly impacts their friends and family and the social system.
Addiction is already present across all of our communities. Our clients look different and are more marginalized and therefore stand out from the rest. We are not so different.
This may not fit with any strategy you have and I am sure that sunday will be approached with some necessary openness…so my thoughts are only because the situation and all of you are on my mind.
Take good care and thanks for your work,
Peace,
Kathy
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.
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Thanks for sharing your perspective Robert.
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So powerful.
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