I am so fascinating!

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I’m starting over again. Yup. I’m activating my “Always begin again” muscles and re-igniting my clearing out my house commitment.

Earlier this year I started a page on this blog called — KISS My Life. the purpose, and goal, was to eliminate one item of clutter from my house a day. I’d take a photo of the disposed article and post it on the page.

Needless to say, the need to re-engage means I didn’t keep it up.

Now, I could beat myself up about falling down, or I could cover-up my embarrassment with claims of, well I didn’t want to do it in the first place but the truth is — I fell down. I want to keep moving on. I want to keep clearing up the clutter. It’s time to begin again.

And I laugh at myself and shake my head in wonder and exclaim with glee, “I am so fascinating!”

Because it’s true. We all are. Fascinating.

Seriously. We are. Fascinating. We’re these complex, amazing, unbelievably powerful beings who grow from a tiny figment of an evolutionary impulse to create something miraculous into these human beings who can dream and think and speak and push obstacles out of the way and scale mountains and leap from airplanes and dive beneath the ocean deep and explore unknown frontiers of outer space. And we do it all using devices and machines and technologies we created.

Isn’t that fascinating?

We’ve put a man on the moon. We’ve touched down on Mars. We’ve journeyed deep into unknown waters and explored deep beneath the earth’s surface where we dig out oil that we transform into energy that fuels the world.

I think that’s fascinating.

And still, a little thing like not keeping up with a commitment to clear out clutter can stop us in our tracks and cripple us in self-defeating angst.

What gives?

Why is it that I can be interviewed on national radio one week and the next I’m beating myself up because I didn’t keep to a commitment I made with myself to do something that needs doing to create the life I want?

What gives that I let a little bitty thing like ‘not doing’ keep me from ever again doing the things I want, desire, need to do to live in the rapture of now?

Think about it. Every day I do a gazillion little things really really well, and some big things too! Why, just yesterday, I got up, meditated, posted my blog, fed the animals, made the bed, showered, drove through busy streets filled with people going about their day — and I didn’t hit even one of them. I didn’t speed through red lights, cause an accident or miss my turn. I stopped. I started. I moved ahead. I moved backwards. I fit into a parking spot. I gathered up my belongings and walked to my office. And I did it all effortlessly. (Though I did forget my cell phone at home — does that make me a failure to thrive suspect?)

Later, on my way to a meeting, I walked down the street and passed two visibly homeless older men sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette and talking. I smiled and said “Good morning” as I passed by and they smiled back and one of them called after me, “I like your dress!” I turned back and smiled and said thank you and then we both carried on with our days. It was an unexpected human interaction that left me feeling buoyed up and I didn’t even plan it, or think about it, or make it happen. It just did.

Don’t you think that’s fascinating?

And then, I met with a co-worker and we talked about an idea she’s floating and I gave her some feedback and we explored her idea back and forth and both of us got excited about the possibilities and now we’re taking steps to move it forward to make it happen because — it’s a really good idea and it’s worth following up on.

isn’t that fascinating too? How one person’s idea can spark a conversation and from that spread out to become possibility expanding into more?

And still, I want to beat myself up about not keeping KISS My Life a priority. I want to label myself an abject failure, a dismissal expression of human incompetence. I want to tell myself I never finish anything. I don’t keep my commitments. I may as well just go curl up into a ball and hide beneath the covers because seriously, what’s the point? You’ll just fall down again.

Nope. Not true. Not going to happen. In fact, it doesn’t have to happen because, I have choice. I am 100% responsible for my response to what happens in my life — and that includes my thinking.

I get that thoughts appear without my actually inviting them in. I get that in their appearance, I don’t always make the wisest or best choices — and nobody’s telling me to make those choices, it’s me, myself and I — and sometimes, my I doesn’t always get a voice. Sometimes, my me wants to make it all about me the loser, me the failure, me the “you’re not good enough”

Enough!  I do enough. I give enough. I am enough.

I am me and that’s good enough for me, in fact, it’s fabulous for me because being me leaves room for you to be you and you to be you and you to be you and in it all, there’s one undeniable, absolutely amazing fact — We are fascinating!

So, given that I didn’t KISS My Life for a few months, I get to decide differently today. I get to change my mind, redirect my thinking. and begin again. AND, I get to acknowledge — I am so fascinating!

Go ahead — try it. Go look in a mirror, smile at yourself and declare proudly, “I am so fascinating!”

It’s true! You are!

14 thoughts on “I am so fascinating!”

  1. Oh, so true. We focus on so much we didn’t do instead of what we did accomplish, what we let go in order to say “good morning” to someone others might turn away from.

    So let’s go get rid of one piece of clutter–and not worry about snapping and posting a pix. 🙂

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  2. LG,

    As you may recall, I did some purging of a similar nature about 18 months ago.

    My resolve came in conjunction with a move – to downsize, to move less, to need less, to reduce my ‘footprint’. But it became much more than that – because getting rid of excessive quantities of old neckties, duplicate kitchen utensils and ratty old towels or a broken chair didn’t seem like much of a sacrifice. I got rid of them, and much more, but after a while it became a bigger challenge involving bigger (in size) things and more important (the treasures) things. That is where, for me, the biggest learning opportunity came.

    Giving my treasures – a sentimental attachment dish or painting, a book that was meaninful (and in some cases it was partly the inscription inside from someone who gave it to me) . . . giving these items to friends, family and complete strangers so they can get value from them too. I get to visit them once in a while, in their new homes. So they aren’t lost too me, but they don’t clutter my space anymore.

    I think I’m due for another round of downsize-itis, so thanks for the poke this morning. Whatever our reasons, shedding excess proves how little we really need and reminds us how much we really have.

    Cheers,

    Mark

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  3. that’s the key isn’t it Sandra? to just get rid of the piece of clutter — and not worry about snapping and posting a pix! That was what I stumbled on — it took sooooo much time! 🙂

    Thanks my friend. Lovely to see you!

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  4. I believe that if I was making a very public promise to myself, it would kind of feel like I was also making a promise to those others, as well. And if I didn’t follow through, then I was not only letting myself down, but those others, too.

    I get it. Been there, done that. Way more than once. Especially in the area of doing my artwork. I have said out loud to many groups of people that I am designing a line of clothing, and I am, but it is nowhere near where I had imagined it to be. I felt shame over that.

    It really is about pulling those socks up and getting back on the horse – if I choose to. And only if I choose to go there again. Even though I may have been very outspoken with multitudes of people, I still get to choose what I do with my life, at the end of the day. So whether my line of clothing is ready or not when I said I would have it ready, is my own personal journey. That’s whats so magnificent. I can change my mind guilt free. And put something on the back burner because I am just not ready to make it happen yet. And now I can say that, too, without the guilt. I am just not ready to make it happen yet. Ahhhhhhh….the sweet release permission gives me.

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    • Thank you Sheryl — I spent all day yesterday clearing out the garage with C.C. What a wonderful feeling this morning to have bags and bags of things to give away (and some to go to the dump) — and know — I am back on track!

      I love your line about ‘sweet release’ — I was ready yesterday to make it happen. NOw…. to clear out the clutter in my office! 🙂 Hugs

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  7. I too am going through another round of purging. I need a goal other than “it would be great to have a tidy home”. So 18 months ago it was ‘getting rid of his stuff’. Now it is ‘getting rid of our stuff’. Next time it will be ‘getting rid of stuff them means the old me’, and after that ‘getting rid of stuff that does not mean the new me’…. and so on.
    Pity, I just cannot clean and tidy without such goals.
    Yes, we are definitely fascinating.

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    • Hi Elziabeth. I hadn’t thought about the ‘goal’ – but it does make sense. When I got out of that relationship, I had a couple of suitcases of his clothes — he was in jail and I didn’t want contact but I also didn’t feel right just throwing all the clothes away. So, I washed them all and took them to a men’s shelter. The goal of transforming energy around his clothing was a real boost! 🙂

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