Dare boldly

Inspiring acts of grace in everyday living


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Truth is not a weapon.

Truth is not a weapon I wield like a sword, chopping down those who oppose me.

Truth is where I stand in my heart, allowing all things to be as all things are, without the need to make all things be my truth.

 

So often, we believe to have our truth heard, we must speak above others, drowning out their voices so only ours remains.

That is not truth-speaking.

For our truth to be heard, we must speak it in peace. Using our words kindly to create space for someone else to hear us, and for us to hear them.

Sometimes, truth can hurt. But it hurts much less when we take care to speak our truth with compassion, giving care to how the other will feel when the words we speak stand between us.

Are our words a barrier or a bridge?

Are they a minefield of discord or filled with a desire to find common ground?

Do our words pierce like an arrow or open minds to understanding one another’s hearts?

I was at a meeting yesterday where two years ago, the same people sitting around the table sat on opposite sides of the fence. To find common ground, we had to make room for all truths to stand without judgement. We had to allow space for our opposing views to be heard without fear of being drowned out in the anger and fear of our differing perspectives and understanding of what had happened. We had to listen to what ‘the other’ had to say about what had gone wrong, and what wasn’t working without denying the truth of what was said.

In the process, we found room for all our views to co-exist. We found strength to bridge the gaps between our differing views to create a better everyone could live with and within.

There is truth in everything, yet not all things are true.

It is true, there is war in the world. Yet, the whole world is not engaged in war.

It is true, there is discrimination in the world. Yet, discrimination does not rule the whole world.

It is true, there is poverty. Yet, poverty is not true for everyone.

Until we hear all things without fearing ‘the truth’ of all things, we will not find the path to see and hear and feel what is true without fearing the other’s truth will prevail, take over, overcome what is true in our world.

Until we speak our truth, in peace, allowing love and compassion to soothe our words, our truth will be viewed by someone as untrue or unkind.

“Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.”  ― Warren W. Wiersbe

Until our truth becomes the ground upon which we stand in love and harmony, our truth will be the weapon others use to stand apart.

Namaste.

 

 

 

 


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Do life or be done by life. There is no in-between.

do life copyWe can either do life or be done by life. There is no in-between place where life is not happening.

As so often happens, the words emerged as I was rising out of my meditation this morning.

And then I forgot them.

Ugh.

I scrunched up my eyes, scrunched up my face into a grim expression and fought to remember the words that had hit me like a potent cocktail just moments before.

Relax. Breathe, the voice of wisdom from within me whispered.

Relax. Breathe.

And the words emerged.

We can either do life or be done by life. There is no in-between place where life is not happening.

There is no in-between place.

Where are you in your life today? Are you standing in your power? Standing in your voice, speaking out in loving kindness for what is true for you?

Or, are you letting life have its way with you? Letting life dictate the ebbs and flows, rhythm and tempo of your journey? Stuffing down the words you yearn to speak, the actions you ache to make?

It’s often been said, ‘life is not a dress-rehearsal’.

It’s the real deal. The real thing. And we only have one crack at gettin’ ‘er done.

Get on with life today.

Breathe deeply and tell yourself, this is not a dress rehearsal. This is my life where I stand tall, speak up and let out all the wonder and magnificence that lives within me, just waiting for me to wake up and set it free.

It’s easy to feel defeated. It’s easy to feel like life is a daily struggle to get by, moment to moment, without any thought for the quality of each moment passing by.

Being passive in life is easy. It’s what you’ve done for so long. It’s how you’ve felt for the forever past you can remember.

Let go.

Being passive in life doesn’t get you anything other than more misery, more feeling defeated, more feeling like you’re not worth the bother.

Give it up.

And hold on.

Hold on to the belief that if you don’t turn up and speak your truth and live your life as if it’s the only life you’ve got, no one else will. No one else can.

Sure, there are rocks on the road, hills to climb, obstacles to overcome.

That’s life.

And so much more.

There are sunrises to witness. Sunsets to breathe into.

There are rivers to swim and seas to cross.

There are mountains to summit and ocean deeps to dive into.

There are pools of love to fall into. There are arms to embrace and smiles to share.

There are moments to experience the wonder and awe and pure joy of being alive, being here, being you!

Don’t let life do you. You do it!

Go on. You know you want to. Go ahead. Do life!

 

 


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Believe it or not: Love is present.

Beaumont sunning on the deck.

Beaumont sunning on the deck.

We are all human scientists, continually searching for evidence the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves are true.

Last week, an incident occurred that fired a deep-seated lie within me. The details of the incident are not all that important. What is important for me, is my response to what happened.

“See Louise,” the critter voice hissed. “You don’t belong. Nobody wants you. I told you not to trust them. I told you if you let down your guard you’d get hurt. Ha? See. You should’ve known better.”

I knew that my fear I did not belong or was not wanted was not real, but for a moment, it didn’t matter. These are toehold beliefs.  I felt the old familiar ache in my heart. The tears gathering at the back of my eyes. The constriction of my throat.

For a moment, I couldn’t speak.

I swallowed hard and gave my automatic response in times of fear. I smiled and sat there and didn’t say a word.

The critter was on full alert, screaming at me to Dive! Take cover. And above all, “Don’t trust yourself to stay in this place. Don’t trust anyone or anything around you!”

The critter doesn’t believe he’s telling me lies. He sees his job as keeping me safe. Without a thought to the longterm consequences, or to the reality of where I’m at, he compares past events with current and determines the best and quickest route to safety. And then, he madly goes about trying to convince me to heed his advice.

The critter does not see into the future. He can only look back and back there, behind me, is a mess of times when I felt unprotected, unaware, unconscious of my own power.

Not now.

This time, when the critter went into high gear, I slowed down.

I breathed and breathed again.

And here’s the deal.

This all happened in the passing of a few moments. It had little to do with the circumstances I encountered that triggered the critter’s cries to dive and take cover.

It had everything to do with my old path of believing the lies I tell myself when I feel unwanted, insecure, invisible or just simply take what someone else is doing as a measure of my worth.

When I spoke with the individual whose words/actions triggered my unease, they asked me a very important question.

“What’s it going to take for you to know you are loved here Louise?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.

And then, I got to thinking about their question.

What’s it going to take?

It’s going to take me making the decision that I am and then, acting as if I believe it’s true – no matter what.

See, that’s the thing about being a scientist. We get to prove what we believe, true or false.

I believe Love is always present.

Yet, in times of stress, my disbelief in Love overwhelms my belief and I become fixated on proving “I am not safe” true.

Most of us do that with our emotions. We find one that works, that seemingly keeps us safe, and then, we bring it out, again and again in similar situations hoping it works, again and again and again. We might have a set or series of different emotional responses to similar situations we incorporate into our being, but always we bring them out, again and again when faced with situations the critter determines are similar to past experiences. Unfortunately, when dealing with our hearts, we don’t tend to look for new ways to respond unless our health, relationships, life is compromised to a point, we have not other choice.

Change or be changed. Find a new path or stay stuck in the fear our deepest fear is true.

I am grateful. I was given the gift of seeing my deepest fear is just a reptilian response that does not serve me well.

Instead of giving into my fears, all I have to do in moments when my fear Love isn’t present is triggered, is to breathe and decide, I believe it is true — and then, spend my time proving myself right.

 

 

 


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What do you do with the wounds of the heart?


We all carry scars on our hearts. Those leftover renmants of the wounds and pains inflicted upon our beings when we were too young to understand or decipher the circumstances of life we didn’t understand or couldn’t make sense of.
In our youthful ignorance, we thought the things that happened to us were true, our fault, messages of our worth and took to heart the painful and unkind words or actions of others  to mean, we were unloveable, stupid, undeserving, unworthy.

As we grew into our teens and adulthood, we carried those scars with us, believing that holding onto them would protect us from further pain or hurt. And as we grew, the tissue around the scars hardened until our hearts became a mass of hard knots not even our brightest thinking could unravel.

In desperation, we adapted our behaviour to protect ourselves from our deepseated fear; those harmful words and actions, those wounds we carried, are our truth. That we really are stupid, undeserving, unworthy, unloveable. And to hide our fear it is true, we acted out. We hid behind our masks, those smiles we put in place to disguise our pain, the laughter we wielded like a sword, the anger we carry like a shield, the sadness we inhabit like a cloak to protect us from the chill harsh winds of life.

They are not true. Those thoughts that rifle through your mind, telling you that you do not deserve to be happy, that others are always out to get you, that the universe is not on your side or that nothing good ever happens for you. They are not true.

Just as it is not true that you are unworthy, unloveable, undeserving or stupid.

Those are just the thoughts that formed long ago when life dealt you a harsh blow and you were not old enough to make sense of other people’s nonsense.

We are all deserving and worthy of love. We are all loveable and loving. We are all unique in our own perfectly human way.

It’s just, hurting people hurt people.

When we were young, our parents, those who cared for us, those who taught us and lead us did not know any better than to do what they did to make sense of their worlds. What they did was never about our worth. It was always an expression of how worthy, or unworthy, they felt themselves to be. It was always a statement of what they believed to be true in their life.

We all carry wounds on our hearts. Our job, as adults, is to heal those wounds so that they no longer dictate our actions and limit our capacity to love and find joy in this world of wonder.

Namaste.


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Life Flows

Beaumont becoming comfortable in his chair.

Beaumont (l) and his brother, Satish (r), playing together.

Life flows.

Everywhere. Every way. Every direction. Filling every space, every nook and cranny with its essence.

We flow with it. Sometimes, we attempt to flow against it. To try to beat its pulse. To pummel its essence into a shape and form that suits us.

And always, life flows.

We are, each and every one of us, part of the flow of life all around. We are not all the flow. We are all our part of its flow.

We can rail against it. We can scream and holler and kick and scream. Or, we can be one with the flow. Allowing the ebbs and flow of our part of it to be our constant companion in grace and ease.

Last night, Beaumont decided his part was to wake up at 2 am. For an hour.

Beaumont’s part means my part changes its course.

We got up together and went out into the backyard and for awhile, became part of night flowing all around us.

It was beautiful. Quiet. Serene. A deep night sky shimmering above filled with stars seen and unseen. The leaves shivered in a sibilant whispery cacophony of song rising on the almost still night air.

I threw Beau’s toy. He chased it and brought it back. Again and again.

Eventually, Beau remembered sleep, or perhaps its call overrode his excitement of being out in the middle of the night. He returned to his kennel, happy and content, and I returned to bed.

it is unusual for Beau to awaken in the middle of the night.

Perhaps, last night he knew there was magic afoot in the back yard.

Perhaps, he knew I needed a reminder of the mystery and magic in the stirrings of the night.

No matter the reason, his awakening gave me the gift of standing in the quiet of the dark listening to the whispering of the leaves in the night.

It was all my part of the flow, because no matter where life leads us, we are all part of the flow. Our own special, unique part. Connected through life. Forever.

 

 

 


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We are constantly becoming

Beaumont becoming comfortable in his chair

Beaumont becoming comfortable in his chair

This time, the thought does not float into my mind as I am sitting in the quiet of meditation. “I am engaged in a battle of wills. My ego will versus my body will.”

That’s the thought that arrives, unbidden, to taunt me with its truth as I am walking along the street with Beaumont, smiling at his antics as he sniffs every blade of grass and chases errant leaves tossed on the wind.

And it’s true.

My ego will would have me slip into sluggishness, defying gravity and time’s pull upon my body, telling me I’m getting enough exercise. I don’t need to lift weights or do anything special to keep my body carrying me around with minimal aches and pains.

My body will would have me rise up and get moving, in every direction, in every way, to keep it sliding effortlessly through gravity and time, defying my ego’s sibilant whispers to slip into something more comfortable and relax, ease out, ease up.

As the story goes of the native elder telling his grandson about the two wolves, black and white/good and evil, the winner will be the one I choose to feed.

In a battle of wills I must feed the one that serves me best.

My body.

My ego would have me believe that ‘becoming fit’ is too far away, too lofty a goal. Take it easy. Relax.

My body knows, there’s no arriving at a place where I become ‘fit’, or whole or everything I want to be. There is only this constant becoming.

In all things.

In all ways. I am constantly becoming in whatever direction I am going.

Whether I do more, or do less, I am constantly becoming, it’s just sometimes, I am not always going in the direction I need to go to find myself at ease.

When I find myself someplace I don’t want to be, thinking about it won’t change where I’m at, just as thinking about anything does not make it so. Taking action does.

I have spent many years thinking about who and how I want to be in the world. Thinking about it does not make it so. It is the constant becoming, the continuous doing of who and how I want to be that creates the me I am in the world.

 

There is no place where I can arrive to where I am ‘fit’. There is only this constant becoming. This continuous opening up to the more, the wonder, the awe of being alive and living each day fully where I choose to take action to create the more of my becoming all I am in the world.

No matter what my ego might tell me, my thoughts become my reality. My actions make it so. When my thoughts lead me down the garden path to becoming stuck in the mud of inaction, I must give my body full license to lead me back to becoming all I am when I let go of believing everything I think is all I am.

I am constantly becoming.

I get to choose if my becoming is more or less of what I want to create in the world.

Namaste.