When in an open-hearted space and place like the Choices Seminar room, it is easy to give generously. Of yourself. Your time. Your treasures and talents.
At the hotel where the Choices Seminar is held, participants are encouraged to be generous with their tipping — we are a large group and can at times overwhelm restaurant staff and other areas of the hotel. Being at Choices meant Week 3’s Act of Grace invitation to show my appreciation for people who served me was easy to fulfill on.
It also means, it takes me a few days to get out of “Choices” mode out in the ‘real world’. To not greet everyone I meet, whether in meetings or on the elevator, or in my office with a hug.
Maybe I should change that!
One of the things I say in the Choices room is that my dream is to create a world ‘out there’ like it is in here so that I can effortlessly be ‘out there’ as I am, as I feel, as I breathe in the Choices room. A place where everyone has the opportunity to feel loved, safe, supported. A place where mistakes are celebrated as opportunities to grow and learn and do better. Where people believe in themselves. Find their voices and sing out loud. Celebrate who they are. Love themselves in every condition.
And one way to create it that way, no matter where I am, is to offer hugs. To simply not listen to that voice in my head that whispers, “Don’t hug. They’ll think you’re weird. You’re invading their space. You’re being pushy. You’re over-stepping…”
Hugs are a powerful communication tool. Hugs require no special equipment. They’re easy to give and take. Hugs connect us and create a powerful bond between our humanity.
Yesterday, as I approached a table where a hotel staff was selling tickets for the Sunday Brunch, I didn’t even have a chance to say hello before she stood up, opened her arms and walked towards me. We shared a hug and then went about the business of the Sunday Brunch ticket, both of us smiling broadly.
What a wonderful gift!
To know that hugging means as much to the staff as it does to me. To know we are connected.
And let me be clear — 10 years ago, you would not have caught me hugging strangers, hotel staff, or most people for that matter.
Now, I love hugs. I love how for a moment, two people stand silently together, take a breath and simply share human touch and a moment.
Make special moments this week. Share your warmth and generosity of spirit through hugs.
Dare Boldly 
to hug, or not to hug, that is the question
it seems we all have our comfort zone, our boundary, our ‘invisible electric fence’ – and in our desire to hug we are afraid, methinks, of two things: overstepping someone else’s boundary and straying beyond our own
you raise an interesting point – and perhaps a boundary-breaking one
venturing outside our own comfort zone seems healthy, but venturing inside someone else’s strikes me as something we need to ask for and receive: their permission
happy to have a hug from you anytime,
Mark
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Permission asking is really important Mark — so thank you for adding that into the conversation — I always ask first — and gracefully accept whatever the response. thanks! ❤
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I have found how important it is to ask permission … And to honor the other’s response. It’s not easy when we are coming back from a space filled with trust, love and openness to hugs!
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LOL — I really should have worded it more carefully in my post! So true Val — and yes, it is not easy to move from that space to the wide open world space. I’m getting better at bringing ‘that space’ into my world everyday. ❤
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I am a hugger but I rarely hug strangers, rarely not never, I have done so in the past and I expect I will do again in the future if it is needed
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Ms Joanne, I would have been surprised if you were not a hugger! You are so filled with loving kindness it just has to fall out of your arms! ❤
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Good assignment. This’ll be interesting because (a) I’m not much of a hugger, especially not with strangers and (b) at this stage I still don’t get out all that much so not that many occasions on which to practice. We’ll see…
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Stretches are good for us Leigh! I missed an opportunity yesterday. A man was really kind to me and I forgot all about asking him the question! Can I give you a hug of gratitude? 🙂 It’s a difficult habit to break — this keeping away from people! Hugs to you dear friend.
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I’m a hugger too but I’ll never forget attempting to hug a very close friend years ago and she recoiled. It is so funny in retrospect!
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