Being happy and being at peace are not the same thing.

I can be happy to be out of a painful situation, but if I keep retelling the story of my pain, I will not find peace and joy in this moment I’m in.

It is important to face the emotions, to confront the things that disturb our peace of mind so that we can step through the disquiet and move beyond the things that distress us.

I caught myself in that space of disquiet recently. I was struggling to make sense of something that was going on and found myself in my own self-defeating game, one of my favourites — “I can’t do anything right. There’s no point in even trying. I may as well quit right now.”

It is not pretty when I find myself playing ‘the victim’.

It is insightful though because, in its light, I can see where I have veered off my path of walking with integrity, truth, passion and commitment to being my true self because I’ve allowed someone else’s actions or words become my reality. It illuminates those spaces within where my critter is having a little bit of a hissy fit stirring up angst and turmoil, just because he can, and mostly because I’m listening.

We all have those moments of self-doubt when we act out of our less than thinking and into our fears.

Strength comes when we stop blaming ‘the other’ for our angst and  lovingly face the truth about the games we’re playing with ourselves and say, “Well that was fascinating.” And then choose to stop the game and let go of the limiting thoughts that are keeping us mired in self-pity, woe is me and I’m no good thinking.

What can I do differently in this moment right now?” is a powerful question to ask in those moments. And if the answer is ‘nothing’, turn and face yourself and ask, “Really?” (it helps if you put one hand on your hip, tilt your head sideways and give yourself that ‘I don’t believe you’ kind of look you save just for your teenage son or daughter) and then smile  lovingly at yourself and decide to not buy into your own limiting beliefs about your capacity to shift, create possibility, change your thoughts. The truth is, those are just thoughts rolling around in your head. And thoughts can be changed.

There are a 1,001 reasons why we play self-defeating games — and none of them justify letting go of our right to live with peace and joy in our hearts, free to be the most amazing, magnificent human beings we were born to be.

Decide today to live free of the past, and feel your heart fill up with peace and joy.