I laughed yesterday as I stood on the street corner waiting for to cross. It’s Stampede time in the city and there are daily parades everywhere. The parade that was holding me up from crossing the street yesterday had horses and First Nation’s chiefs and a big Stampede float with a bunch of people sitting on it, laughing and waving at everyone standing by waiting for it to pass.
They waved and called out, “Yahoo!” and I waved back.
I did not yell out, “Yahoo!” That felt silly.
Which is what struck me most. How concerned I was with the opinion of strangers.
The desire to not look silly, to not make a scene, is buried deep in my psyche. Perhaps it stems from childhood when I was always spinning and laughing and chattering about this and that and continually calling out for the attention of the adults around me.
Don’t be so ridiculous. Stop making a fool of yourself. Stop it! People are looking. Calm down…
My monkey-mind critter knows these phrases well. He likes to repeat them in the most inopportune times and while I know he’s only trying to protect me, his concern is grating. His caution limiting.
Like when I want to feel part of the excitement going on all around me, and he reminds me not to do it because he fears I’ll look foolish.
Seriously?
How silly is that?
A bunch of people are riding by on a float doing exactly what I’m afraid to do because I’m worried others will look at me and say, “Look at that silly person!” People in all likelihood whom I will never see again, I might add!
How often does that happen to you? You want to leap in but hold yourself back from taking the plunge because you might look too enthusiastic. Too excited. Too different. Too… silly?
Let it go.
Let laughter be your answer. Let your enthusiasm carry you away from holding back and leap in!
It’s okay. People may not think you’re silly. They may actually think, I wish I was courageous enough to do that too!
It’s stampede time in the city. There’s all sorts of yahooing! goin’ on! Think I’ll saddle up and ride me a cowboy! No! Wait! That’s rude. That’s not appropriate! Real women don’t talk like that! At least that’s what the critter says.
But it is kinda funny that ole’ expression. Sort of a ‘turn the tables on the cowmen kind of talk.
Nevertheless, let sanity and good taste reign. What I meant to say was… Think I’ll saddle up and join the parade!
Yahoo!
Dare Boldly 
It is hard to remember to have fun, no matter what.
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And so important to remember! Thanks Mary. ❤
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so, let me get this straight: you are intimidated to be noticed?
aren’t you a speaker?
an author?
a painter?
a blogger?
it seems you have no difficulty standing, sometimes shouting, in the public square on stages, in front of cameras and crowds or electronically beaming your thoughts (name & bio attached) to thousands …
so – it seems to me your reluctance to let out a Whoop! when asked to by people on a float … might be about control
just maybe about control
and, considering the ‘public you’ … that’s a lot of control
why?
c’mon, it was just a ‘Yahoo’
test yourself – go to a street corner, with or without a crowd, and just holler!
c’mon, you can do it
m
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LOL — did I never tell you I was a control freak? 🙂
And while you raise good points, I like control more than being a yahoo! 🙂
I’ll think about it… 🙂
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so …. everything else is a smoke-screen – it’s all about control. And what happens, what is so scary, about not being in control? I know you have past traumas to haunt you … and your antlers are up … you won’t be taken in again; so why can’t you loose the reigns a little. You never know what the ‘little bit of freedom’ might feel like …
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Oh my Mr. Mark. Sometimes, I like to think I’m funny and I often joke about ‘control’ simply because it’s something I’ve actually worked hard on letting go of! 🙂 Is it time to lighten up Mr. Mark? 🙂
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When I saw the title, I didn’t expect this post. Loved it. Save a horse—go, girl!
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Thanks Lisa! We are at the Grandstand show tonight. I might just find me a horse to save! 🙂
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Funny, I have an ongoing conversation happening with a friend on the subject of joy and happiness and letting ourselves experience them. This is an important piece of that conversation — we haven’t hit on this specific bit yet but it absolutely belongs there. Thanks Louise!
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I love the synchronicity Leigh. I as thinking about your comment yesterday after I read it — and one of the things I realized is that my reluctance is very much like ‘the shadow laugh’ — it’s all about feeling self-conscious and the discomfort of not knowing how to handle my self-consciousness, which becomes the inhibitor of joy. Hugs my friend.
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