Fierce Love. It’s a boy to be!

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Garfield Jr. Photo by Alexis Marie

Thirty-one years ago, when I gave birth to my first daughter, I was in awe of the sweeping, fierce love that consumed me the moment I heard her first cry.

Over the nine months of pregnancy, I had read every book I could get my hands on that would prepare me for being a mother. But nothing could prepare me for the fierce love that filled every breath, every molecule and cell of my being.

Last night, as I lay in bed reading, I searched for books on being a grandmother.

I am beyond excited.

In March of next year, my eldest daughter will give birth to their first child, our first grandchild. A son.

And I feel the stirrings of that fierce love. I feel that yearning to hold him in my arms and protect him and cherish him and nurture him and guide him and show him how incredibly beautiful and strong he is, and how incredibly beautiful he can make the world around him through kindness, dignity, truth and courage.

I want to be the best grandmother I can be, or as we’ve decided I’ll be called, Nona or possibly Lola.

When a child has four sets of grandparents, getting creative with nomenclature is vital! And not being quite sure yet what he’ll call me leaves some of the say up to him — which word is easier to pronounce, which one makes him smile when he says it, or is there a word he’ll choose himself?

When Alexis was a child, the first time she said Grandpa, the name we’d agreed she’d call her paternal grandfather, she said, Bumpa. It became a lovingly appropriate name for gentle Al, her father’s father.

Along with being the kind of grandmother Garfield Jr., as they are calling him in-womb (and no that won’t be his name in-the-world), wants to spend time with, I also want to be the best mother of my grandson’s parents I can be. I want to be intentional in all my actions, words, and thoughts. I want to honour their parenting style, their requests for how he’s taught, how he’s nurtured and cared for. I want to use LOVE in all its encompassing ways. In particular, LOVE as Donne Davis writes in “When Being a Grandma Isn’t So Grand: 4 Keys to L.O.V.E. your grandchild’s parents, as my guideposts.”

L – Learn the parents’ language

O – Own your shared purpose

V – Value the parents’ hard work

E – Empathize. Empathize. Empathize.

As a grandmother, I want to be the person they love to call to share the adventures of their little one, and the rock they lean on when they’re tired, frustrated or just needing to chat about the realities of being a parent today.

I do not want to be over-bearing, over-powering or over-anything that doesn’t bring joy and delight to their lives and the life of their son.

It is a new adventure, this idea/role of being a grandmother. For C.C., there is no role he is more excited about. When Alexis and J called to tell us the grand news, her sister insisted we film C.C. so they could see his face and reaction. It was worth it! Just as being grandparents together will be worth remembering as we journey into this new land together.

Over the moon and into the limitless possibilities of love. That’s where you’ll find me in the coming weeks and months as we journey together with our daughter and son-in-love towards the arrival of their new son.

Gratitude fills my heart. Fierce and wild, it beats a tattoo of Love that fills my world with the song of joy.

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And yes, I’ve ordered some books! Time to get honing up on how to be a grandmother who leaves only footprints of love on her grandson’s and his parents’ life.

12 thoughts on “Fierce Love. It’s a boy to be!”

  3. Can you be my mother in law??! Mine has obviously never read a ‘how to be a grandparent’ book in her life!! She’s getting better as she sees the evidence that our ways of raising our kids (no smacking) are not resulting in spoilt, selfish ruffians who have no respect for anyone but she still thinks that sparing the rod spoils the child and will smavk my kids if they are left in her care (which is never these days for that reason). And as for names for grandparents… my mum is Nanny and my dad is Granddad. My mother-in-law is Ga (her choice) and my father-in-law is Gramps. I’m so pleased you feel that honouring your daughter’s wishes on how to raise her child is important… that will result in her being able to talk to you I’m sure. Congratulations on becoming a granny!!! xxx

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    • Thank you! I can understand your concerns on smacking — it has never been my ideal parenting method. There are so many better and more loving, less harmful ways emotionally and physically, to teach a child. Ga is a pretty cute name though! 🙂

      And thank you for reminding me how important it is to honour my daughter’s wishes. Hugs

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  4. HOW WONDERFUL FOR YOU!!! CONGRATULATIONS! The rewards are endless. I just became a grandparent 9 months ago too for the first time. I was always incredulous when I saw grandparents incessently showing pictures, exclaiming excitedly about minor events like — “Look, she took a deep breath!– isn’t it remarkable!” or “Look, she opened her mouth to eat! – isn’t it grand!”
    But now, when I make the same observations myself, it seems unusual that others don’t see the events are extraordinary too.

    I have also chosen to be called the Italian “Nona” – and can’t wait for her to talk.
    I’m so pleased to hear that you have such joy awaiting you….. and I HAVE to share a video – of course – I can’t help it:

    Deep, deep personal joy.
    One of my happiest moments is brushing her hair while she falls asleep in my arms – it doesn’t get better than that.
    You’re going to be another one of the world’s greatest Nonas Louise.

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  5. My heart sings. What a gift he is. Can’t wait to experience Alexis and James as Mummy and Daddy and you and Charles as Grandparents. Wow! So thrikked for all of you. and so excited to meet little Garfield.

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  7. Pingback: A Grandmother’s Code for her Grandchild | Dare boldly

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