A Grandmother’s Code for her Grandchild

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Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash

In September of last year, I wrote about the Fierce Love that consumed me when I learned that I would be becoming a grandmother this March.

Our grandson’s arrival is fast approaching.

And my fierce love grows stronger.

I know that there is nothing I can do to alter the course of her pregnancy. I know that the medical team guiding her through this last trimester is competent and professional. And, I know that along with their midwife, Dula and Obstetrician, my daughter, son-in-love and grandson are in excellent hands and are well-cared-for on this journey.

But it doesn’t change my desire to do something to make a difference.

Which is why I awoke early this morning thinking about what I could do.

“Get conscious of what it is you want to teach your grandson and how you plan on going about doing it,” the quiet voice within whispered.

What do I want to teach my grandson?

I want to teach him that who and how he is in the world makes a difference because his being in this world makes a difference.

I want him to know that this world is a place of awe and wonder. That amidst the turmoil, pain and chaos, that kindness, beauty, creativity, compassion are essential. And that in all things, all places, all situations, Love is always the answer.

And I can only do that by showing him through everything I do and say and am:

The power of kindness.

The beauty of honesty.

The gift of creativity.

The exquisiteness of compassion.

The grace of Love.

By living through these tenets, I want him to know that he doesn’t have to do anything to make a difference because his presence in this world makes our world so exquisitely and lovingly different.

 

 

24 thoughts on “A Grandmother’s Code for her Grandchild”

  1. LG,
    A friend of mine offered advice to me, several years ago when I was having doubts about my writing, about the value of my writing with this question: “how well did you know your grandparents?’. Two were dead before I was born. One died when I was 5. The last died when I was 14. My answer was, accurately, “not very well”. My friend pointed out that, without regard to how long I might live – that my grandchildren would have a great opportunity to know me by ‘what I put in writing every day’.

    So, I pass this idea along to you. Beyond all the fussing, the involvement, the gifts and the circumstances – leave a legacy in writing for your grandchildren to know you. You already are. Keep it up.

    My grandchildren are ‘nearly six’ and ‘four in two days’ … they are magic. They aren’t seeing me every day, I’m far less significant in their lives than they are in mine – but we do know each other and that ‘knowing’ will grow. In time they will have two things to remember me by – the times we’ve had and what they can read. So will your grandchildren …

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    • I like your friend’s advice Mark. For me, there is the deeper level which is around — my legacy piece. Yes, they will know me through my writing, but through my writing and art and my being present in their lives for however long I am, what is it that I want them to know about the world? What do I want them to know as possible within their own human condition and presence on this planet? How can I be present for them to support and add value to my children’s raising of their children? So, my code becomes really another frame through which to see — how do I want to be in this world — and definitely being kind, honest, creative, compassionate and loving are at the foundation of all that I am, do, say, create.

      Thanks for shining light on this conversation my friend!

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  4. My daughter’s family lives over 9 hours away by car so I cannot just pop in for lunch or do any babysitting on a regular basis but I can love the boys from afar. While I held my oldest grandson for the very first time I told him, “I love you best!” Those 4 words have become our sign-off when talking on the phone, when leaving, when saying good night. My younger grandson shares the same words….and I do love them both, best.
    I learned from my grandfather that I was his favorite in the moment we shared. If there were several grandchildren with him at the time, we were all his favorites. It’s not in anyway a lie. He truly loved spending time with his grandchildren and would move heaven and earth to be with us. He truly loved us all equally, fiercely and “best” all the time. So carrying on that tradition to me was important. To let them know I will move heaven and earth to be with them when I can but I will always love them unconditionally.
    Like your reader/commentor above I believe the power of love between a grandparent and grandchild is magic. It gives them something to hang onto when Mom & Dad are being unreasonable, it gives them something that is uniquely shared, and it gives them stability in a world that is unstable. They need to learn their way but how much smoother the way becomes when we have the assurance that someone loves us unconditionally.

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    • What a beautiful story — and sign-off. I too believe in that power of magic. I never knew my grandparents — met my grandfather a couple of times on my father’s side, and my grandmother came to live with us for three months when I was in my early teens. She was from India so quite fascinating to me — but other than that, our interactions were limited. Both my daughters spent time with their grandparents – and as I watched those relationships evolve, I saw what I did, and didn’t want to create for me and my grandchildren. 🙂

      I love the sign-off — so powerful. And, btw — the name my daughter and I have agreed on for me is…. YiaYia! Thanks for the inspiration. ❤

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  9. I love this, Louise! How wonderful would it be if every person on earth thought about what they would want to teach their grandchild…and they came up with this list!!!
    Many blessings to you…I hope that you are doing well…I know you have a lot going on! ❤

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      • There you go, Louise! That’s the way…make the best of current situations 😁 I hope your new place will have a studio area for you. I live in such a tiny condo most of the year…I have to “make” room for projects. But There’s the thing…the need to create lives inside us…and we will always figure out a way to do it! 😉 Hang in there Louise…Sweet blessings 💜

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  10. As always right on the money Louise. My grandson was in our home for nearly five years before he and his mum ventured out. We had such wonderful times with him. Now he has a delightful little cousin, a girl child who came in August. Deliciously, my daughter announced at the same time that she is having another little boy. So there is this amazing growth and delight that comes with these precious little people who shall provide delight and joy and mayhem and all that goes with it. Welcome to the grandparents’ society. He will be blessed to have you. Namaste

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