I was feeling discombobulated. Anxious. Confused.
A situation at work had been playing on my peace of mind, disrupting my flow. I felt like I had no control. That old stories were being triggered by events in the here and now, and I was at risk of collapsing, helpless, into the past.
I had to find a different perspective, a better point of view.
Since beginning the process last October of buying a new home, getting our old home ready to be sold, renovating this home and living in rental accommodations for three months, I have not spent much time immersed in my creative essence.
Without my studio set up, I had nowhere to create. Or so I told myself.
Immersed in my fear of being stuck in a victim-role, I didn’t realize that the voice inside my head telling me I had no space to create was the same voice of self-defense that had been triggered by the unsettling happenings in my work. It’s nattering at me to dive deep, take cover, hunker down! was also keeping me from seeing the path to letting go of my victim’s voice is always through my creative self-expression.
Last week, I stepped back. I took a few days for myself and decided to create space to dive into my creative essence, regardless of not having the drywall up in my studio, or the boxes unpacked, or the right lighting or the other host of excuses I’d been employing to keep me from letting go of my fears.
It was the most healing thing I could have done for myself.
Over three days I created a work space in the middle of the room by pushing boxes to the edges of the room, setting up a table to work on, unpacking essential materials and setting myself up for ‘success’.
I began to paint and in the process of dipping into colour and my creative self, I found myself once again on solid ground. I found myself breathing freely, moving slowly, feeling alive.
Fear lifted. My heart expanded. Grace embraced me.
“It’s okay,” the voice of wisdom within whispered softly. “The river never runs backwards. This too shall pass. Breathe deeply into being present in the gifts of this moment, right now. Let go of fearing the past is now and will be so forever. Open your heart to the gift of Love that flows endlessly in and through you. Breathe.”
And so, I breathed and found myself on the other side of fear in that sacred space where Love flows freely. Heart wide open, I found myself immersed in the knowing that no matter what is going on in the world around me, I am safe in the embrace of Divine Creation.
Namaste.
LG,
you have, in this piece, some words that I think are a book title (or subtitle) in the making: The river never runs backwards.
Cheers,
M
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! The inspiration for that line came from my daughter. 🙂
LikeLike
You are in the PHLOW. Thanks so much for your inspiring words and art. Namaste.
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLike
I have learned that my “creative space” is anywhere I am at that moment. I too keep thinking that I need that special place but threw caution to the wind when I was desperate to put some thoughts on paper when I was far away from my “corner”. Kudos to you for seizing the moment and carving out your creative space that will only continue to blossom as you create. Love PHLOW – quite evocative in its colours.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Iwona — I’d love to read some of your writings one day! ❤
LikeLike
It can be so hard for some of use to venture through the fear but often when we do we will be rewarded
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Do you know what is on the other side of fear? — Dare boldly – My gypsy life
Love the painting! And of course the post 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Leigh! It’s for our living room. We needed something big! 🙂
LikeLike
This post was on the other side of fear, for me, and now my fear is gone. Thank you, Louise.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for joining me on the other side Ann! Hugs ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Delving into our creative soul opens our hearts and lets fear dissipate. The river doesn’t run backwards … indeed 💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
And how easy it is for me in times of distress to forget (opt out of) doing the things that bring me ease. Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person