In year’s past, I would join my sister at the lodge where my mother lived to celebrate Mother’s Day.
I’d take flowers, Jackie would probably have made mom some of her favourite food to share for lunch. Before mom could no longer climb in and out of the car, we would often have met at a restaurant, la grande famille including my daughter who lives in Calgary, to celebrate together.
This year is different. Hugs are virtual. Contact is distant. Restaurants are still closed. And, mom is no longer in this world.
Different doesn’t mean ‘bad’. It just means ‘not the same as before’.
Different also means, we have choice.
To squawk and balk at the presence of something new/unusual/different. To carry loss and sorrow like a burden or to let it flow like a river of Love healing the wounded, broken places.
I can not change the fact that life always finds itself ending in death. Like the snow falling outside my window as I type on this May morning, I cannot change it.
I can accept its presence with curiosity, an open mind and heart, seeking the beauty in what is appearing, finding value in the different so that I can live with grace in its presence in my life.
My mother took her last breath on February 25th. Our world changed that day.
It is a different world without her in it. I consciously stay away from judging it. It is what it is. Not good. Not bad. Different. Present.
Her leaving has created this space where today we get to experience our first Mother’s Day without her physical presence. She is always here. Always part of my DNA. Part of my memory. Part of my life.
It is a time for reflection. For gratitude. For grace.
And for remembering.
I am the woman, and the mother, I am today because of my mother.
I am the woman, and the mother, and grandmother, I am today because of my daughters.
I am forever grateful. Forever in Love.
Happy Mother’s Day to all.
So beautifully expressed Louise – a mother’s love is like no other. Thank you so much for your most thoughtful words on this Mother’s Day…..thinking of you on this your first one without your dear Mom. She passed her love and kindness on to all of you – such a blessing you are.❤️
Thank you Val. I am grateful for all my mother did, and didn’t do. I am grateful for all she was, and all she wasn’t. For how she bothered me, and how she didn’t. Without the ALL of it, I would not have the life I live today. Happy Mother’s Day to you too my friend.
LG … lovely piece. Happy Mothers’ Day,
Some of us, I don’t know how many, share your ideal images but not your experience, having (or having had) mothers who fit very different descriptions.
Let us all agree, everyone alive came from a mother – and everyone, whether their memories are fond and reverent, or nightmares, there is this one day a year to give them all pause, for remembering we would not be here without them.
p.s. now when it comes to fathers, there is a divide also, of those who revere them, or not; but most of us have met and known our mothers. Fathers, on the other hand, we mostly knew them less – whether they were present or not. I revere my father and revile my mother – and most of the clarity has come in recent years when they both are gone and I can see more clearly now who they were, who they were to me, and who they were to the world. One of them ranks very high in my estimation, the other not. But that is my life – and others have their own experiences, and recollections – whether they happened or not.
Good morning Mark. Thank you — and I appreciate your candor and vulnerability. It is very honouring of your journey and of ‘my place’ here. Thank you.
So true about our fathers. We knew them less – and still, in all our emotions, thoughts and feelings about who they were/are, what they did/do, love is present – it just appears in varying shades of life.
Hugs my friend.
Louise, so beautifully said. Thank you. Ten years later a day does not go by that my Mother “telosme something, over my right shoulder, kudos for something I did or said positively, over my left shoulder, well need I say more!
I would like to say to your friend, Mark, my heart goes out to you for your honesty and candour in respecting that regardless of one’s personal experiences, we walk this earth thanks to a Mother who gave us birth.
I too love how my mother ‘visits’ me now from the other side. I am so grateful for having the mother I always wanted here now to support me and cheer me on! In real life, that relationship was not possible. I treasure it now.
And btw, your heart is a mighty, fierce, loving heart. ❤
Most of us have mothers to cherish some sadly do not, I thankful do have one of the best mothers
You are very blessed Joanne. ❤
Beautiful, Louise. Yes, It is what it is. (Though I can’t stand this expression, it has its uses.) It serves us no purpose to lament what is. Things change, move forward. Death is part of life and, while we are never in a rush to face it, face it we must. It helps us to appreciate the now all the more. Yes, it might be frustrating for some to have snow fall in May. What can we do? Nothing. Or write about it in a sweet way like you did.
Thank you Dale. This morning, the sun is shining, the sky is bruised with pink and rose and bluish clouds. The airy is nippy, but no frost. And the river keeps flowing. I agree, btw, that expression is annoying but it is very useful! I love how you have come to appreciate the now and to write about it so eloquently.
Sending you warm hugs and soft comfort this lovely morning.
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Here, to the sun is shining and, as my husband used to say “nipply” outside 😉 He was a character. I think it’s annoying because ‘at the end of the day’ (another ugh) ‘it is what it is’ is way overused! LOL
How nice of you to say. I think life has encouraged me to appreciate the now.
Sending return warm hugs right back atcha!
How true that we are where we are because of our mothers.