I Wrote A Letter To My Lover

Two things happened this morning. Both took me in unexpected directions.

Gratitude and curiosity fueled each experience and brought them together on a river of creative expression flowing free.

David Kanigan’s Monday Morning WakeUp Call today lead me to the website, The Vale of Soul-Making. Exquisite. Provocative. I got lost in its words.

The morning post I receive every day from Daily Om connected me to thoughts I’d had yesterday about personality. How it’s so easy to get trapped in believing ‘we are the way we are and there’s nothing that can be done about that.’

At the time of that thought drifting into my mind, I was walking along the rocky beach between the river and the forest, my mind skipping from thought to thought, like a stone skimming and dipping, skimming and dipping along the water’s surface.

At one point a thought skipped into view that surprised me. “You know, Louise,” the thought whispered. “One of the gifts of that relationship with the man of ill-intent was that because your personality was so completely submerged in his abusive ways, when he was arrested and you got your life back, you had to rebuild yourself up from the soles of your feet to the soul of your being who you’re truly meant to be.”

It was a fascinating thought. But, because I was wandering along the river, savouring the sunshine on my face, throwing the ball and watching Beau race after it interspersed with his stopping every so often to follow a scent that caught his olfactory glands in unexpected ways, I let the thought drift away.

This morning, I read one of the many quotes offered by Nick Flynn at The Vale of Soul-Making and that thought skipped back into view.

And then, I read “Finding Another Perspective” at Daily Om and my heart did one of those skippity-dippity hops it likes to do when it finds the subterranean flow of its beat rising to the surface in joyful exhalation and my lungs gave a giddy sigh of satisfaction and my lips smiled wide and my eyes popped open and I exclaimed to no one and to the world, “Oh Yes!”

And then…. as so often happens when I follow the winding way of my thoughts flowing through, a poem appeared as if floating on a lifeboat of possibility.

And here it is. I do so love the unexpectedness and joyfulness of the muse’s way of drawing me into creative expression.

A Letter To My Lover
by Louise Gallagher

I wrote a letter to my lover
long gone from this sphere
of my life orbiting 
around the one I have become
rising up 
from the ashes of a love
that was never truer
than the lies
he told to enslave me
in the poisonous venom
of his unrequited self-hatred.

I wrote a letter to my lover
Thank you, I said,
you saved me from my belief
who I was, was all I could ever be
locked up in a painful construct
of believing I was never good enough
to be free.

I wrote a letter to my lover.
I am free.

18 thoughts on “I Wrote A Letter To My Lover

  1. I loved this post for the message you share and also found your language exquisitely beautiful!

    you had to rebuild yourself up from the soles of your feet to the soul of your being who you’re truly meant to be – wow this is amazingly said!

    my heart did one of those skippity-dippity hops it likes to do when it finds the subterranean flow of its beat rising to the surface in joyful exhalation – oh so beautiful!

    a poem appeared as if floating on a lifeboat of possibility. – so lovely!

    And I loved the poem too –
    you saved me from my belief
    who I was, was all I could ever be
    locked up in a painful construct
    of believing I was never good enough
    to be free.

    It speaks so clearly to me for I woke up today wanting to and expressing gratitude for those who seemingly wronged me and in doing so made me who I am becoming today.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Pragalbha. I find it fascinating how we can align across distances without ever having met — such beautiful heart-connections.

      I also find it fascinating how when I experience forgiveness as the gateway to gratitude, the need to forgive slips away leaving me immersed in a sea of love and gratitude.

      Much gratitude for you. Many hugs. ❀

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Louise,
    I loved that you shared the sources of your inspiration along with your poem today. This poem is all about growth. Bravo you for choosing to learn and grow from a painful time.
    Take good care of your beautiful heart.
    Ali

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Louise, your poem is inspired by the muse who lives in you and light up whenever the truth
    strikes you with such clarity. Your story leads from chains to freedom and how wonderful is that.
    I love the poem through and through
    The last stanza is so beautiful and sets you and us free.

    Miriam

    Liked by 1 person

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