I had other plans yesterday for making a difference, but a cold that wants to come to life kept me home, so I stayed in bed and wallowed in self-care tinged with a small dose (okay maybe bigger than small) of self-pity.

And I was okay with it.

Sometimes, making a difference out there has to start with making a difference within me. My body needed the care. I let it have it.

Which means, I didn’t drive my car yesterday and, I didn’t spend money — though I almost compromised on that part of the equation.

No matter the weather, or how I’m feeling, Ellie insists she needs a walk. The weather had warmed up significantly, and my head was clearing so late in the afternoon, I took her for a walk around the neighbourhood. And I took along a book I intended to mail. I was torn. Part of the principle of not driving my car for a day is to not spend money for a day. But I’d promised to mail the book and thought it a good idea to do it on my walk as the Post Office is just a few blocks away. My mind wrestled with the conflict of spending money (but this is a good cause. I’m taking care of business — it’s not really spending money when I’m doing it for someone else 🙂 ) and the need to make good on my commitment —  to not drive my car/spend money for the day)

And the Universe laughed.

My beautiful Ellie, the Wonder Pooch, has one significant personality flaw. She doesn’t like small dogs, in particular, small white dogs that yap and jump up. And she likes to express her dislike vocally, and aggressively — the Vet calls it ‘fear based aggression’, but whatever you call it, it’s not pretty if she actually comes nose to nose with a small yapping dog.)  We walked towards the Post Office, my mind wrestling with the decision of ‘to mail or not to mail’ when what did I see but a small white dog tied up outside the Post Office. Yapping and jumping up and down against the window.

Ellie saw it too. She started to pull against her leash, a deep growl emanating from her throat, growing louder like a volcano about to erupt.

It was an easy decision. I can mail the book tomorrow. A day later than promised, but hey, when the Universe is jumping up and down and yapping right in front of me, I listen.

The right thing is always the best thing to do. In this case, my day of not driving my car includes the commitment to not spend any money. Compromising half of that equation doesn’t make a huge difference to the Universe, but it does make a difference to me. Because in that compromise is the hook of my integrity being released. In that compromise is me letting go of my commitment. And I am committed to consciously staying present in making a difference, and that includes — holding true to my commitments, holding fast to my integrity.