In my Inbox this morning are a plethora of opportunities that promise to change my life. I can acquire a Hermes belt or Luis Vuitton handbag, real cheap. Learn the latest and greatest in SEO or two different ways to make money at home, online, real easy. Or, if I’m feeling adventurous, I can go gamble it all away at the online Casino, real fast. And just in case I’m looking to change my look completely… I could get a real cheap deal on ‘double-fold eyelids’ — that oh so popular cosmetic surgery trend taking over China. (Seriously? Who knew?)
Instead, I decide to clear out the clothes closet in the guest room/den.
It’s all in my choices.
Spend or cleanse. What will it be?
In 4 short days of divesting myself of the extra flotsam of my life, here’s what I’ve learned.
- It is easier to acquire than to divest — unless, I change the story in my head. To change the story in my head I need to hear myself talking to myself with a loving heart. It’s hard to beat myself up when my heart is soft.
- Once items have been relegated to the ‘give-away/discard’ piles — get them out of the house, quickly. Otherwise, that little voice that likes to creep in through the back door will whisper…. (I hate that sibilant hiss) … Do you really think you should give away that ski jacket? … you did pay a lot of money for it and even though you haven’t worn it for 15 years don’t you think you might… one day…
- It is daunting to have made this a public commitment — public or not, however, I need to stay the course in order to teach myself, “I am worth keeping my commitments to myself”.
- Sometimes, I’ve got to rebel against the voice of unreason in my head — “You don’t own me” seems to work quite well.
- When the voice of unreason is encroaching on my space, and even, “You don’t own me” doesn’t work, call a friend, go for a walk, do something different to throw the voice of unreason off your game.
- Don’t look at the ‘enormity’ of the issue. Take it one day at a time.
The commitment is to give away ONE (1) thing a day. This is something I need to remind myself of every day — and as you can tell by the photos, moderation has not yet kicked in. I have a tendency to feel like I’m not workin’ it, or doin’ it right, or doin’ it big enough if I don’t stack up the give-aways pile. I mean.. there is a perfect way to clean out closets, right?
And I breathe.
All or nothing thinking has never gotten me more of what I want in my life. Never. Because in my all or nothing thinking, I unconsciously give into the voice of unreason who likes to set me up for failure.
“Hey”, the voice of unreason (VOUR) says. “You lazy slug. Don’t do it small. Get your azz in gear and clean out the whole closet in one fell swoop. Easy does is for wuzzes.”
“But I only need to give away one thing a day,” my aware self replies, breathing deeply while chanting ‘OM I shall not listen to you… OM I shall not listen to you…’ in my best imitation of a Tibetan monk sitting beneath a Bodhi tree.
“Don’t be ridiculous” my VOUR replies, jumping up and down in front of my mind, waving its arms and making a real nuisance of itself. “Go big or go home.”
Resisting the temptation to get up and pound the daylights out of the VOUR, (I am sitting in the lotus position and my legs have gone asleep), I breathe again (I’m getting good at it!), and reply. “But I am teaching myself moderation”.
“Moderation is for pansies!” screams the VOUR.
“OM…” I chant. “I shall not listen to you.”
My chanting seems to irk him. He is getting a tad agitated and forgets he is delicately balanced on the edge of my consciousness. He leaps forward to strangle my mind into submission and gets caught in my breath flowing out. In one fell swoop he falls backwards into the darkness of his own machinations. The reins he held so tightly around my thoughts are set free and suddenly, I am thinking clearly.
I breathe. Again. I breathe in and out and get up and go to the closet and decide to take out only 4 items for giveaway.
Hey! Rome wasn’t burned in a day and I’m not quite ready to take it one item at a time. For today, 4s the limit and that’s good enough for me.
And while I’m at it, think I’ll clean out my SPAM box too! No sense fooling around with temptation.