Fear is a wiley bastard.

Fear lives in my belly. It’s that grumbly, rumbly, churning feeling of disquiet that eats away at my peace of mind when I give into it.

Love lives in my entire being. It’s that warm, soothing, tranquil feeling of quiet joy bubbling up to embrace my peace of mind when I give into it.

Which one will I choose? It’s up to me.
Just as I can’t ‘try’ to be fearless, I can’t try to ‘be fearful.’ I am or I’m not.

Yoda said it best: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Which will you choose today? To take the path to the dark side, or to keep walking the path into the light? Will you allow your fearful thoughts to drag you down, or will you allow loving kindness to lift you up and draw you out of the darkness and hold you in the light?
It is your choice.

Some time ago, during a presentation, I experienced a moment where fear washed over me with such velocity I was left speechless. I’d made a mistake in how I presented something to a group of about 100 people, and when my co-presenter offered some feedback, my critter mind went into hyper-active defensive mode. I heard their words as a scathing critique, condemning me as stupid and unprofessional.

Here’s the thing: that is not what my co-presenter said. All they really did was provide constructive feedback on how to do it better next time. In my fear of making mistakes, of looking foolish in front of the group, of being shamed for not doing it right, my fear twisted their feedback completely out of context. In that moment, my fear rose up and heard condemnation. It drove me away from courage and truth into the darkness of self-criticism.

I’d like to tell you I recovered right there on the spot. Truth is, as soon as I could, I ‘gracefully’ (ok. I rushed out of the room without making eye contact with anyone) left the room, desperately trying not to draw attention to myself and went to the washroom. In a stall, alone and crying, I had a little pity party and then pulled myself together. When the session resumed, I stood in front of the group and continued.

The Breakthrough Moment: Fear as a Catalyst for Clarity

Yet, here’s the thing about those moments. This particular one was a breakthrough. The initial wave of fear, the self-condemnation that followed my co-presenter’s kind words, felt utterly disorienting. But that very intensity, that visceral jolt of discomfort, became the catalyst I didn’t know I needed. It forced me to ask: Why did I react this way? What was truly going on inside me?
All night long, I worried over and thought through the events of that evening, trying to discern why my reaction to such a simple moment had been so visceral, so immediate, so intense. The discomfort of that fear was no longer paralyzing; it was probing. It pushed me to look beyond the surface interaction and into the depths of my own internal landscape.

The next morning, I awoke, tired yet incredibly clear on what that moment of feeling shame at the front of the room represented. And in my enlightenment, the sun broke through the darkness and light illuminated my path in all its brilliant clarity. The fear, in its uncomfortable intensity, had served its purpose: it had shone a spotlight on a hidden truth.

Since I was a small child, I had held a belief within me that was not true. I didn’t even know the belief was there until such an insignificant moment erupted into a deep dive into truth. The ‘belief that is a lie’ rose to the top and screamed in my face, and, I swear, felt like it was ripping my heart out. This painful confrontation, however, was precisely what was needed. The fear had not been the enemy; it had been the messenger, pointing me toward a limiting pattern I needed and was ready to shed.

The specific details of the ‘belief that is a lie’ are not what matters most today. What matters is, I stepped into it and today, I am celebrating. I am dancing. I am shouting for joy. Throughout my life, this ‘belief that is a lie’ had caused me a lot of pain, confusion, and harm. On some deep subconscious level, I had always been aware of its presence, lurking in the darkness, disturbing my status quo and jeopardizing my capacity to feel and know pure joy.

Now that I see it. Now that I know it. Now that I can face it, I can deal with it.
I am grateful. The very fear that initially threatened to derail me ultimately became the powerful force that propelled me towards greater self-awareness and healing.

I cannot heal or change what I do not acknowledge. I acknowledge that the ‘belief that is a lie’ does not serve me well. It does not bring me the ‘more’ of what I want in my life.

Today, I choose to step boldly, confidently, and joyfully onto the path of light, love, and well-being, understanding that sometimes, the greatest growth begins with the uncomfortable truth that fear reveals.

Which path do you choose today?

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