Yesterday, while sitting in the Sunday Spiritual Service at Choices, Bill Spangler, the speaker, spoke about Love and our human condition. It is something we all seek, desire, want — to love and be loved. To know our lives have meaning. To know our passing will be marked.
It struck me then. The anniversary of my brother and sister-in-laws deaths was on Saturday. St. Patrick’s Day.
And I forgot. Busy. Caught up in coaching at Choices, in watching people come alive, I forgot about my brother and sister-in-law who are no longer alive. There was poignancy in that realization — to forget means my heart is not heavy. I just don’t want it to mean I forget them. Because I don’t.
As I listened to Bill speak so eloquently on how we all yearn to be remembered in this world, I knew there was something I had to do.
Find the spot where my brother and his wife died. And mark it.
It was on a highway going north. About an hour from Saskatoon.
But I don’t know where exactly. I’ve never gone to the spot. Never searched for the information to be exact.
Now I shall.
And in my remembering, in my purposefully marking that place where their lives ended, they will not be forgotten, and I shall remember the beauty and wonder of their being here on earth.
It is an important difference. To remember them in Love and mark their passing. To let go of the ‘whys’ of what happened and move into the beauty of their presence in my life.
In that difference, I let go of anger and fear and regret and unforgiveness and all the other emotions that keep me from embracing Love.
Namaste.
Dare Boldly 
“It is an important difference. To remember them in Love and mark their passing. To let go of the ‘whys’ of what happened and move into the beauty of their presence in my life.”
Thank you Louise. That is what i am trying to do today thinking of my mother. I am trying and it is hard, but not impossible.
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Louis,
By coaching an loving the people you work with, you are being Love in the best way. This is the best way you can remember them, loving others! Peace to you!
Jodi
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Thank you Jodi! yes, you are so right — to love people and be there when they need you — that is the best way to remember those who cannot be here. Hugs
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Thank you Lisa. You have such a beautiful heart and light. I love your presence on my path!
Saturday was the 15th anniversary. My sister and I spoke this morning and we were both surprised about the time. I was angry with him for a long time — and have moved beyond the anger to only holding onto the love — but the realization that I didn’t know, and had never visited, ‘the spot’ resonated so deeply, I knew I had to do it.
Thank you for your words and your light..
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Louise, thank you for sharing the way you remembered this anniversary. I don’t know how many years it’s been, but I am sorry for this great loss. When I was doing my training at the Ackerman Institute, I studied with Evan Imber Black about rituals, and the healing impact. On the anniversary of my father’s death I always light candles, play “his” music and then talk to his photograph about the things that happened during the year.
Reading this post I was very struck by the symbolic meaning of finding the exact spot where your brother died. Sort of like a ritual that helps heal something unfinished. I wish you courage as you do this.
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