Dr. Isabel Ries Ferrari is one of the most intuitive and insightful people I know. She is also one of the best friends anyone could have. Kind. Caring. Brilliant. She always gives her best, and always works to bring out the best in others. Isabel and I worked together for almost six years at the Calgary Drop-In and throughout that time I was in awe of her ability to see into the heart of what is on people’s minds, and to guide them to clarity with compassion, grace and humility.

Since leaving the Drop-In, Isabel, who continues to be the Director, Education and Best Practices at the shelter, and I have continued to explore ways to work together as we both value our friendship and its many gifts. Today, here at A Year of Making a Difference, Isabel shares her insights and learning on how living our values makes a difference in every area of our life. When we make a difference through living with integrity, it spills over into the lives of those with whom we live, work and play in radiant ripples of love, peace and joy.

Thank you Isabel for sharing your difference here!

*******************************************

Thank God for Heated Car Seats!

by Isabel Ries Ferrari, Ed.D

Recently, I had the pleasure of presenting a seminar on values and how they are a part of leadership and one’ life. Values, I explained, are our beliefs and philosophies; they are what we promote and defend, and they guide us in our decision-making and in the way we behave. To demonstrate this, I asked participants to choose one of two values that I presented. No fence sitting or straddling the line – pick one value that is very important to you.

Health …… or  …….. Wealth

Our values were acquired from our parents, grand-parents, friends, employers, and the many life experiences and situations we’ve encountered. Through the years they have been shaped or modified to meet our needs.

Loyalty ……. or …….  Relationship

Daily habits are a good indicator of what we value. Arriving an hour earlier at work to get ready for the day, may be the value of preparedness or reputation. Singing in the shower (a great stress reliever, so my doctor says) may be the value of personal health and well-being.

Innovation  …… or ..….  Dependability

Within ourselves we have many values. Depending on the situation you’re in, they will shift in importance to meet your needs at that time. If driving on a busy highway, the value of personal safety will rise to the top and you will drive with heightened awareness  until you reach your destination.

Sometimes, your values may compete with each other. For example, the value of becoming healthier versus the value of rewarding yourself for a job well done – the diet and exercise regime versus the glazed cinnamon roll. Let the competition begin!  “I’ve lost five pounds and one inch. I’m on a roll” versus “It’s only one doughnut. No problem”.

Throughout the course of the day, many of our values compete with each other. This is how decisions are made.

Loyalty ….. or ……. Professionalism

Let’s not forget the emotions and feelings attached to the values. Choosing the cinnamon roll will bring forth the emotions of guilt or shame or determination. The strength of the value will not only determine the strength of the emotion, it will also determine what value is truly important to you.

Daring …… or  …. Dependability

Now ….. About those heated car seats.

Golfing is an activity I truly enjoy. I value the opportunity to go outside and walk nine holes, the unwritten rule of “no shop talk”, the spoken rule of “play your best and most of all have fun” and meeting of new people, building relationships.  The challenge I have with golfing is my golf swing. I don’t have the “Phil Michelson” swing. So I take a golf lesson.

New golf grip …. New stance …. New body posture …. New shoulder rotation …. New golf swing.  New pain… In the hips, in the lower back, in the upper back, in the shoulders. I even had a muscle cramp in the right foot!  My value of golfing in the great outdoors and having fun (not to mention doing it to the best of my ability through my commitment to living a life of continuous learning)  is competing with the value of being able to walk the next day to go to work.

Achievement …… or  …… Acknowledgement

The gift we bring to the world is each other. We make a positive and lasting difference when we are in integrity with our values, our most powerful self is brought forth and is present for all to see and experience. When we are out of alignment with our values, we are uncomfortable and unsettled. Staying in alignment with our values is like the new golf swing – it takes regular conscious practice. It’s like a muscle that needs to be worked to build strength and stamina. When your muscles are tired and need some relief, sit back in your car, turn on the seat heater and enjoy.

Yup!  Thank God for Heated Car Seats!