The invitation arrived in my email as it does every week from Dal, our Wednesday night group meditation guide, announcing that week’s group meditation. There was an invitation with this one — Customized Heart Meditation — the email read and included the invitation to “Bring your deepest sense of what your heart is seeking and just “see” what happens next.”

I could feel my mind groan when as we settled into meditation, Dal began immediately to take us through ‘the dome’ exercise. Ugh. I often fall asleep, drift away during this exercise.  “Oh look! A shiny object!”

I committed to pay attention. To turn up and be present.

Fear rose up. The critter awoke.

The critter doesn’t like it when I’m present. I might break free of limiting beliefs, of fear-driven behaviours if I become present to the beauty and wonder of now. The critter likes to live in the dark.

I focused on the now. On the being in the moment, under the dome of my thinking, chipping away at calcified beliefs that harden the suppleness of my mind, body and soul to live this one wild and precious live in the rapture of now.

I know it sounds esoteric — it is — but after three and a half years of meditating with this group, I absolutely trust the process and the power of the group, and Dal’s guidance.

And that was when I saw ‘the difference’.

Trust.

I trust the process.

Just as every morning, even on those mornings like today, when I begin to write and am unsure as to what I am going to write about. I trust the process, I trust the words will appear, and they do.

In that trust is the non-egoistic place of believing ‘I am in control’.

Heck! I’m not in control! I’m out of control and loving it!

As I look back on the almost five months of writing A Year of Making a Difference, I know, it isn’t about controlling the words, the work or the world. The biggest difference is made when I let go of control and simply trust the process.

To be. Present.

To be. Loving.

To be. Committed to give my best knowing, my best is good enough.

At the beginning of the year when I resigned my position at the shelter, I was unsure of what the future would bring. I just knew that where I was at in the past was no longer serving me, was no longer fulfilling my heart;s desire to be of service in the world.

I didn’t know what would happen. I didn’t know what would come next. I simply knew that to be open to ‘next’, to be open to possibility I had to trust in the process of living. I had to trust in ‘the universe’ to be present and in that trusting place, I found myself aligned with the evolutionary impulse to always create better. To always evolve more.

The universe is on my side. On your side too. The universe needs us to succeed because we are all in this world together — and it’s in the best interests of our collective survival that we succeed, that our difference become about shedding light on darkness, truth on lies, compassion on sorrow, tolerance on intolerance, love on hatred. Our difference is about being the light of Love in everything we do.

I stepped into my heart last night and asked, What am I seeking.

The answer was simple.

To know me. To love me. To be me in a world of wonder where my difference is part of the light of Love creating a world of beauty, joy, peace and harmony.

I sat down to write this morning, unsure of what words would appear. In their unfolding, I am reminded, the difference I make is strongest when I let go of control and let Love have its way.

Namaste.