I drove west yesterday morning. A gentle mist bathed the rolling foothills leading into the Rockies in delicate morning light. I drove west, the verdant lands laid out before me, a lush valley of possibility, of horses and cattle grazing, of geese swimming across reflective ponds mirroring the gun-metal grey sky above.
I was on the road to present to a Grade 11 class at the high school in Canmore. It is something I have done for several years now, twice a year, drive west to talk to youth about life and giving and falling into the darkness and journeys into the light.
I use the story of my fall into the hell of an abusive relationship as the framework for my message that — life is filled with possibility. We all fall down. It’s the believing we must lay there that limits the possibility of more in our lives than we ever imagined.
When I was finished speaking, and after the last student had asked a question, the teacher asked. “I’m curious. Why do you do this. Why do you share that story. It must be hard or does it get easier with time?”
“It isn’t hard nor easy,” I responded. “It is what it is. A story that is a metaphor for life. A story that exposes the darkness. And my desire is to expose the darkness, to awaken each of us to the light within so that we shine so brightly, there is no possibility of darkness consuming our lives.”
Someone once asked me — do you ever fear getting stuck in that story. Of being dragged down by it?
I can’t be, I replied. I can’t be dragged down by it because it is not ‘my story’. It is just a 4 year, 9 month segment of my story. My story is so much more than that moment in time. My story is about the difference I want to make in the world. My story is about what I’m doing to inspire people. To touch their hearts and open their minds to their truth. To expanding their thinking into knowing — we are magnificent human beings. We are each capable of more than we ever imagined, and if someone is telling you that you can’t, do.”
Years ago, I drove west with ‘the bad man’ who would have me believe his abuse was all I deserved. When I awoke from that living hell, I knew. Life is a precious gift. We are all miracles of life and my responsibility was to live this ‘one wild and precious life’ in the rapture of now, free of the belief — his abuse was all I deserved.
And in that knowing, I began to share the truth of what happened to me — not just what he did, but what happened to me that brought me so far down on the road of life all I wanted to do was to die.
Life is meant for living.
And yet, as I type, every 40 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone commits suicide.
And yet, as I type, every 40 seconds, everywhere in the world, 6,999,999,999 people choose to live.
It is the paradox of life. Someone, somewhere chooses to exit yet everywhere, billions of others choose to live.
And we focus on the few in an effort to make their choice different.
Perhaps, if we were to focus on making this world different. Perhaps if in this moment we all were to take a collective breath and choose to make this world such an incredible, amazing, beautiful and peaceful place no one would choose to leave. No one would want to go, away.
What could we do in the limitless possibility of now?
I drove west yesterday, spoke with a group of teenagers on the brink of that time when the question they are asked always begins with, “What do you plan on doing…?”
Perhaps, the question isn’t ‘what do you plan’. Perhaps the best question we can all ask today is, “What will we create, right now, right in this moment to ensure all 7 billion of us living and breathing of this one air, one planet, one ozone choose to stay?”
Dare Boldly 
I got your link from Diana. Truly very inspiring…and I’m now a follower!
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Thank you! I am delighted to meet you!
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And I appreciate you’re being here! Thanks
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I think you are amazing to share your story and hopefully some of the young people you tell it to take something away from hearing it and think better of themself……..
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Thanks Jo-Anne — some of my favourite moments have been from these talks where teens will come up to me and say how inspired they were or how what I said really made a difference. They touch my heart.
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Love, love, love it! Thanks for having the courage to share your story. By doing so, you give permission to others to do the same. Love ya, Diana
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Ahhh Diana — may we all find our courage to tell our stories so that we can inspire others to tell theirs and they will inspire others to tell theirs…. Hugs!
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It’s wonderful that you share that story with young people. I’ve witnessed how such stories do make a difference. I’ve been writing a book about a nine-month leadership class at a high school for teen moms. Many had abusive parents, or abusive boyfriends or husbands. As they worked on a class project and discovered the achievements they were capable of, some felt empowered to leave or alter their abusive situations. Sometimes a teacher or fellow-student sharing how she overcame adversity was the final push that helped them see how possibility could be reality, if they would take the risk to act. I do know that this risk carries real dangers, so I applaud your courage and theirs.
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— … the risk to act… — great way to say it Cara. It always saddens me in these situations to hear the stories of the challenges youth face — and I’m excited to learn more about your book! that sounds amazing.
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I can totally relate… About 15 years ago I was beaten up by a very man I loved with all my heart. We were together for three years, and nothing like this happened before… It came out of nowhere. He was drunk, and I said something he didn’t like… But the very first time I felt his fist on my face… something had broken inside my soul… and my love for him was over (just like that)… Next day he apologized, he said he didn’t know what have gotten into him, and that it will never happen again. But I knew better… So I broke up with him and never saw him again. But I felt so violated and helpless, cause the hate just entered my heart and set into it – right where love used to live before… It took me almost two years to stop feeling this hatred within myself. Especially it was hard on me at night – when the lights were out and I was left tête à tête with my thoughts. I was praying to God so hard to get that hatred out of my soul and heart. I didn’t want to feel miserable… Eventually I healed. I am less trusting for that experience, more careful…
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I am so sorry to hear that happened to you NYparrot (love your blog and it’s name!) What amazing courage and wisdom to know — you had to leave. It takes a very strong and self-loving woman to be able to do that — wow! In doing that you set yourself free. Taking care in relationships is good — like leaving, letting the hatred out of your soul and heart is powerful. thank you so much for sharing. You are amazing!
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Thank you so much, Louise, for your kind words. You are a strong and beautiful lady, and I appreciate your support. Girls power!:)
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