I have been feeling out of sorts this week. Nothing identifiable. In fact, it is its ‘unidentifiable nature’ that has made this out of sorts so irritating. Like an archeologist, I have been sifting through the dirt of the past few days/weeks looking for clues to what happened that might have triggered my ennui. I’ve come up with shards of ideas that may or may not be the source. I’ve dug into them, turning over every stone, checking for mildew or parasites, washing off accumulated dirt, polishing up facets of my being that I have let rust — and it didn’t seem to matter. The ennui remained and I felt the tiredness of broken sleep and fractured dreams that kept trying to break through to my awareness.
And then, this morning as I took my vitamins and drank my greens I realized what had happened. I had forgotten to take my morning ‘shaker uppers’ as I call them, yesterday, the day before and, in fact, tracing it back, I have not taken them since Friday morning.
My body was sending me a message and I had fallen asleep at the wheel.
My body is my GPS. It informs me constantly about my environment, my well-being, my reactions and responses to what is happening in the world around me. And my body was working without the fuel it needed. My body was operating without gas, and my mind was on auto-pilot searching for answers to what was happening now in places it didn’t need to go in the past and was missing the message about what was going on now.
No wonder I was feeling tired. Not only was I lacking the vitamins and nutrients that balance my internal systems, my mind was digging into areas looking for truth in the darkness where in truth, the light no longer needed to shine.
Sometimes, in my gut reaction to make things more complicated than they need to be by looking for connections to what’s happening in the present in the past, I miss the obvious in the here and now.
Lack of essential vitamins and nutrients = Lack of energy and well-being.
And I breathe. And I laugh. And sing a song of joy!
Think I’ll go do a happy dance too!
It’s all good. Laughter, song and dance are the only way to heal shame. And according to Dr. Brene Brown, whom my eldest daughter recently heard speak — and she was, as Alexis described her, WOW! shame is one of human nature’s most debilitating forces.
Laughing, singing and dancing now too! Because, seriously. My week could have been so different if I’d remembered to take my vitamins. What a shame I forgot!
And now that I’ve remembered, it’s smooth sailing into this moment of being alive in the rapture of now!
PS. There was still good info in my digging into the dirt of my psyche. I learned a thing or two about myself and how I am in the world that will nourish my growth as I move with grace and ease into the exquisite beauty of my day unfolding in wonder.
Today’s Peace Poem: In All The World