Everything Tandy Balson does embodies the meaning of making a difference. From being a caring wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, to being a Big Sister, sharing her light through motivational talks to various audiences around the province and coaching at Choices, Tandy makes a difference. I met Tandy through Choices. In the rarefied air of the training room where miracles unfold with every breath, Tandy and I have stood side-by-side sharin what every coach is asked to bring into the room, Love.
Tandy is a loving woman. As today’s guest blogger she shares how important what we do is, no matter how big or small. You can catch Tandy shining brightly most days of the week at her blog, Time With Tandy. Do drop over to say hello. You’ll be warmly welcomed and will come away refreshed!
Sometimes You Just Need to Show Up
Guest Blog by Tandy Balson
Making a difference is something that many of us aspire to. In fact, several years ago, when asked what title I would choose for a book based on my life, I answered “She Made a Difference.”
We think that we must do something big, something noteworthy, to make a difference. In actual fact, sometimes all we need to do is be present. This is something I have learned firsthand over the years. The last few years I have been a mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters. This is not their regular program, but instead is spending one hour a week, during the school day with a student. We don’t do school work, we just spend time together. It seems like such a simple thing. Other than getting her out of class for an hour, am I really doing something that impacts her life?
Usually we play games like Yahtzee or dominos. Occasionally we bake something. There is limited sharing but the relationship has become more familiar and now includes some laughter and teasing. She doesn’t give me a lot of details of her life and I don’t probe. Questions tend to shut her down. We’d been together for a year and a half and it still didn’t feel to me like we had a great connection. My schedule was changing and it wasn’t always possible to meet every week. Maybe it was better for her to have a new mentor, one that could not only be there every week, but could connect with her on a deeper level. I told the mentoring co-ordinator and the school counselor of my decision. When I told my mentee, the response was totally unexpected. She fought for me! She told the powers that be, that she would rather see me every other week than someone else every week. A bond had been built that was stronger than I had realized. The rules were bent to allow this match to continue.
A meeting with the co-ordinator recently let me know that my showing up, giving her my time, had indeed impacted this girl’s life. I sat with tears running down my cheeks as I was told of ways that I had made a difference in her life not only for today, but to be carried into the future. It seemed like such a little thing, spending an hour together. Other than her birthday and Christmas, I brought no gifts. That’s where my thinking was wrong. The gift I brought was the gift of myself, of caring enough to be there and spend time with her. The gift that she has given me is showing me that it doesn’t take grand gestures or huge sacrifices to make a difference. Sometime all you need to do is just show up.
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Thank you Tandy!
Tandy’s Blog: www.timewithtandy.com
Dare Boldly 
That is exactly what I learned. We so often don’t even realize we are making a difference! Thank you for your response. I’d you’d like follow my weekly short inspirational messages please check in at http://www.timewithtandy.com
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What a great guest post and what a great story thank you Tandy and thank you Lousie for introducing us to Tandy………..
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Thank you Joanne. Thank you also for following my blog. I plan to drop in on yours as well. Tandy
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thank you for the wonderful stir!
inspired and challenged,
I wonder how often I withdraw my presence
because my questions shut them down
and then I believe I’ve nothing to offer.
showing up….I want to do this more.
thank you!
-jennifer
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Thanks for your comments Jennifer. This is a lesson I’ve just learned, so will need to practice it, too! I’d love to have you come and visit my blog at http://www.timewithtandy.com Hope to see you there soon.
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“Questions tend to shut her down”–that’s the line that got me. What gift you are, just being there, not asking, playing and baking and being. Louise was right to chose you!
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Thank you for your kind words Megan. It’s funny how we think there has to be a lot of talking to connect with someone. Now I know better. If you’d like to check out some of my other posts, please visit me at http://www.timewithtandy.com
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Beautiful story! We often do not know how our presence is affecting another person. I think this shows us how important it is to tell others that who they are makes a difference.
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Thanks for your comment. You are so right. We often don’t let others know that they make a difference. Wouldn’t the world be wonderful if everyone did that? If you’d like to check out some of my other writings, please drop by http://www.timewithtandy.com
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Oh this is so beautiful I have no adequate words!
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Thank you. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you also for checking out my blog. Hope to see you there again soon! Tandy
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Ahh what a beautiful story. I think we often make the hugest difference totally unaware. What I mean to say is that our intentional efforts do make a difference but the biggest differences often happen not because we planned them out but because we were there and often we don’t even know a difference was made.
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I was coaching all day in Choices today and Tandy came in to tell me she’d seen her blog and already, by 8am there were 4 responses and how that made her heart sing!
Thank you everyone for turning up and commenting. I just love when we all connect and create a world of light, love and joy!
Blessings my dear friends. You make my heart sing!
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Thank you for your response. Being reminded that we don’t always know the difference we make provides me with what I need to keep showing up and doing what I can. I may never know if I made a difference, but maybe I don’t have to! I post short inspirational writings every Monday. If you’d like to see what I’m up to, come and visit at http://www.timewithtandy.com
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