I started an online course last night. It seemed impetuous at the time. The course began at 6:30. At 6pm I decided to take it. But, it was really only the decision that was in the moment.

I’ve been thinking about taking this course for a while. It’s just, I’ve kept talking myself out of it. “You won’t stick to it, Louise,” my little critter voice whispered. “You’ll just be wasting your money. You’ll start and then stop and forget to do the homework and…. ” Ever notice how sibilant and insistent the voice of doubt and self-disparagement can be?

I decided to move deeper into my knowing. I decided to ask my inner GPS, that voice that lives deep in my gut, for direction. My inner GPS is the voice of  self-belief and support. It guides me by illuminating my feelings through my body. “How does your body feel when you think about actively being engaged in the course, Louise? How does it feel about consciously choosing to learn and grow your awareness of the evolutionary impulse?” I asked myself. And I felt it. There in the pit of my stomach. The excitement. The knowing. The understanding that this is my next step on my journey. My GPS applauded me. It rose up and said, Do it. Take it. This is important for your development as a human being on the evolutionary timeline on this  journey of her life.

And so, at 6:05 I signed up. The team quickly got me my access details and at 6:30 I was on the line, listening in as Amy Edelstein and Jeff Carreira set the stage for what promises to be an exciting and enlightening 10 months of the Living an Evolutionary Life training program with Andrew Cohen and Enlightenment Next.

I love learning. I love engaging all my senses in the act of exploring what it means to be human in this time, right now, in the here and now. And, I love how Amy and Jeff described the processes we will be investigating. We are living on the edge of our own development, they said. On the edge of where we’ve never been yet. Leaning into where we’ll be.

‘The Edge’ is personal, unique for each of us. It is that place just beyond where I know ‘what is’. It’s that place of creative friction where the things that I am curious about rub up against that which I know. In that interaction, my sense of purpose, of desire, of willingness to get consciously engaged in my own evolution explodes into knowing. It is that place where change ignites possibility.

Once known, once experienced, it cannot be undone. It cannot be taken back, erased, thrown out. No matter what I do, how hard I attempt to ignore it, turn my back on it, push it down, it cannot be unknown. It is always there.

When I was pregnant with my second daughter I worried about how could I love another human being as much as I loved the first. How could my heart expand so much to encompass two beings of such light and joy? And then I realized, Love is limitless. It’s only my thinking (call it fear) that was limiting my capacity to know the truth. I reminded myself about when I used to teach skiing. I didn’t become lesser for the act of teaching. I became a better skier because in the act of transferring my knowledge, I improved my ability and capacity to know the art of skiing and teaching. In my students’ excitement about learning new skills, about becoming more competent on the mountain, I grew in my excitement and competency.

We are all connected.

Last night I spent the first hour and a half of a ten month engagement exploring Living an Evolutionary Life. This isn’t just theoretical Amy and Jeff told us. It’s actualization. It’s not just for ‘one self’ we do this. It is a collective act.

It is the foundation of evolutionary thinking — to work as a collective, to engage in conscious acts of serving humanity to create a world of wonder for everyone. It’s a choice to explore how far can we go, what kind of focus can we generate, how strongly can we feel when we focus on the collective of where we are going together as a shared culture

Evolution is something that happens to all of us. Conscious evolution is something that we do together.

I signed up for a course last night. It feels good. It feels exciting. Energizing. Uplifting. It feels like I have chosen to actively become engaged in making a difference in the world through connecting into a different type of union and communion with my evolving humanity and the humanity of the world around me.

I am happy!