I first met Sarah Moss at a course we were both attending six and a half years ago. In my eyes, she had it all. Her heart was beautiful and her world was complete with a loving husband. A beautiful son. Caring parents. Friends. She looked to me like the perfect wife, mother, daughter, friend.

But surface observations never reveal the depth of someone’s life. Over the next few years I’d get to know Sarah better as we shared those areas of our hearts we don’t reveal on first acquaintance.  I discovered there were places of deep pain and sorrow in Sarah’s life. Her marriage broke up, she struggled to make ends meet and come to grips with what had happened. And through it all, I saw that which I had observed about Sarah when first we met — her beautiful heart shining brightly.

Today, Sarah shares her gifts of the written word in her Guest Blog.  Please do drop a note for Sarah, and let her know you too see the beauty of her heart shining brightly.

Making a Difference

by Sarah Moss

For years I dreamed of being the “ideal” mom, homemaker and wife. I envisioned my life would be a perfect one, where I did everything right, my marriage and children would be as perfect as possible and problems would be far and few between. Was I ever wrong! Now, living in reality, in the midst of a divorce, raising two boys on my own who are almost never clean and tidy and have special needs that take a lot more time and energy than I ever thought possible. Cooking, baking, canning and yes, even housekeeping some days, take a definitive sideline. I’m realizing that making a difference sometimes just means accepting the world as it really is.

When I cling to the belief that I must be perfect, that I should be able to accomplish everything and still have energy left in the day, I get so worn out that I can’t figure out up from down, left from right and it all falls to pieces. When I stop, take a deep breath and look at what I can realistically accomplish, I realize that I can do everything I need to. I need to revise my view of what being the “ideal” mom is. I don’t have to have all meals planned and prepared in advance, I don’t have to make all their clothes by hand, canning will likely not happen until the boys are MUCH older, if then, and baking is a novelty to be done on special occasions or during home economics class (I homeschool). What the “ideal” mom may look like to me is that I spend time with them, teach them, mentor them and provide for them while still taking time to take care of me.

When I example to my boys that it’s okay to take care of me, I teach them that it’s okay to take care of themselves too. When we recognize we have a need and we take steps to meet that need, we are living healthfully and it will make a difference! If I can teach them that they don’t have to be perfect, they just have to do their best, I will have made a difference in the world. When I example to them that I expect myself to be perfect, I destroy that difference. Right now, I’m working hard at exampling to them that they have great worth, that they are loved and that healing is an important process to undertake. When life covers us in the mud of its horribleness, it’s okay to take the time to clean it off.

I’m learning and feeling my way along this process, it takes time to change, but by choosing change I make a difference immediately in my home and circle of influence, as well as making a difference for the future because I am raising men who hopefully will not expect perfection, either of themselves, their families or their circle of influence, instead drawing others to only do their best and to allow themselves time to heal and care for themselves when it’s needed.

I’m praying that by living life to my best, by allowing perfection to fall by the wayside, that I’ll make a difference in the world; in the world we live in now and in the world my children will lead in the future.