Notes to my self

I am sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to be called. It is early. 6am kind of early and I am on my first latte of the day. I think of how I’ll treat myself to a second when I arrive at my destination. How I’ll walk along the sea wall, soaking in the moist ocean air, smelling the foliage, hearing the sounds.

I’ll walk and then stop at that cute little caffe in English Bay, the one where that man kept staring at me one day only to inform me, “You remind me of Madeline Albright”

Excuse me? Madeline Albright? Ummm. She’s …. How do I say this? Old? Matronly? Brilliant! Yes. That’s it. Brilliant.

It was a first. I’ve been told I look like Lisa Minnelli. Bonnie Bedalia. Catherine McKeen. (the wife of a former Canadian prime minister). But never Madeline Albright.

I wondered if it was a new kind of pick up line for the over 50 set. Didn’t matter whose name you used. It started a conversation, and wasn’t that the point of trying to pick someone up?

That day I smiled and grabbed my latte and C.Cs Americano, thanked my unknown ‘admirer’ and joined my beloved.

Today, I’m looking forward to time alone. Time to people watch. Cloud gaze. Breathe into this space of where I am.

It’s not my way. To drink more than one latte a day and usually it is consumed in the warmth and familiarity of my home. But today is special. Today, I am off to Vancouver to spend some time with my eldest daughter and have the luxury of unscheduled time until I meet up with her later in the afternoon.

I’m excited.

C.C, my beloved, gave me this gift for Christmas. A trip to Vancouver and tickets to see Oprah!

Alexis is over the moon. Not only is she going to Oprah, we’re going together.

The airport is busy already. The waiting area for Gate 42 filling up with travelers eager to be on their way, going home, going places, going away. No matter the direction, I am surrounded by people going places this morning.

And I wonder, where am I going? Not the ‘this is my destination I’ll know when I get there’ kind of going. No, this is more the ‘where is my spirit calling me and am I listening’ kind of going.

This place I’m headed isn’t so much ‘out there’. It’s not a physical place that once arrived at will entrance me with its sights and sounds and new people to meet and new things to do.

This place I’m going is less physical, more ethereal. It’s that place within me that says, “Yes! I’m here and there’s no where else I’d rather be, no one else I’d rather know than me. I’m okay, just the way I am. In fact, I’m beyond ok. I’m magnificent and in my magnificence I see and experience your magnificence and together we create a world of wonder all around.”

Yeah. That’s where I’m going and some days, I know I’m in that zone. I can feel it, breathe it, live it and feel completely, absolutely at ease.

And then, there are those other days. Those moments, those broad sweeps of time when I’m not really feeling it, not really living from deep within my essential self or even that I’m out of the zone. It’s on those days I need to stop, take a breath and feel my way back into being present, aware and alive. Fully conscious of the air against my skin, the light shining all around.

It’s on those days I need to examine my story and ask, “whose story am I living now?”

In his book The Power of Story, Jim Loehr writes, “Our destinies follow our stories. It’s imperative we do everything in our power to get our stories right. For most of us, that means some serious editing.”

I’ve yet to write an article, report, blog, story, poem, anything that doesn’t require editing, that doesn’t deserve or need a second read.

I’ve yet to live a day that doesn’t deserve a shift in direction, a change of perspective, a second glance, another look, a different take on how I’m doing, being, loving life.

And while I’m not about to edit my life to look like Madeline Albright’s, I can take a page from her book and use it to inspire mine. She’s a feisty woman, self confident and self-expressed. She had a clear vision of what she was doing to change the world and she lived it to her best ability.

I could learn a lot from Ms Albright’s story. And on those days when I’m not feelin’ it, I can choose to change my state. I can kick up my heels and jazz it up a la Liza!

And maybe, I could even find a stranger to pick me up and swirl me around and make me laugh at the sheer outlandishness of the notion I could be anyone else than me!

And a quick update. I’m on my second latte, sitting in a cafe overlooking the Harbour. Life is so sweet!

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The everyday poem is posted on A Poetry Affair

9 thoughts on “Notes to my self”

  1. I read once, a question in a first nations tribe was that when someone died they measured the success of their life on whether the person had dreamed well. I guess you could substitute that with what our story is and how true and purposeful we are about living it or dreaming it…

    Like

  2. Hello,
    In case you don’t know her full story; Madeleine Albright and I share a common factor in our lives – ie: wife abandonment!
    So she inspires me that sometimes great things can sometimes come from a divorce!
    Here is an excerpt from a story about her and a clip below to the full article:)

    “Until the day her husband left her, Madeleine Albright thought she had the perfect life. She had two homes, three lovely daughters and a rich husband who was being groomed to head his family’s large newspaper empire.

    Things quickly unravelled, however, when Joe Albright stumbled in his career and turned for comfort to another woman. It’s a common story, but Madeleine’s response was extraordinary. An obscure university lecturer at the time, she soon transformed herself into a leading authority on international diplomacy and – within a dozen years of her divorce – became the most powerful female official in American history.”

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/3604635/Divorce-drove-me-to-the-White-House.html

    Have a great few days with your daughter.
    I love one-on-one with mine and I know you do with yours.
    Treasure each moment and “see” you when you return

    Like

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