There was a time when I believed if I just knew more about ‘why’ I was the way I was, I would be happier with who I am. To be happier, I thought I had to be different. I thought I had to be who others thought I should be to fit in.
There was a time when I struggled to understand how I fit into the world.
And then I discovered, the why of who I am or how I fit into the world is not important. Knowing I fit exactly the way I am is what makes my life full and meaningful and exciting today.
I don’t have to be taller, thinner, fatter, shorter. I don’t have to dye my hair, pluck my eyebrows, or even worry about where I wear my heart. To be happy, content, accepting of where I am in my life today, all I have to do is breathe and be willing to be open and…. vulnerable.
Vulnerable.
A word I struggle with. A word that challenges my ability to be intimate in all my important relations.
Brene Brown, in Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, writes:
“What we know, matters. But who we are matters more. Being rather than knowing requires showing up and letting ourselves be seen. It requires us to dare greatly, to be vulnerable.”
Being vulnerable frightens me. What if…. I get hurt. What if… they take away my dignity. My pride. My passion. My… What if…. they don’t like me?
And there’s the contradiction.
I can’t be vulnerable when I’m holding onto worrying about what others think of me. When I worry about what they can take away. And I can’t be vulnerable when what I’m holding onto are all the words I use to define me.
To be vulnerable means to hold onto nothing. Holding onto nothing, no one can take anything from me because in holding onto nothing, I am have everything I want to be me.
And I can only be me when I allow myself to be seen, when I show up and be real.
It is in being vulnerable that I am free.
It is in being vulnerable that true intimacy arises, deepens into the core of my being and settles in as my worth.
I am a vulnerable woman.
I am vulnerable.
I am.
Arms wide, embracing the world, heart broken open in song, I dance in the light of being my most amazing self and invite you to dance. With me. Alone. Together. Apart. We dance and create a wondrous rhythm of feet pounding a beat of freedom.
The freedom to Be.
Who we are. How we are. What we are when we claim our right to live this one wild and passionate life free of fear that someone else can take away who we are.
No one can take who I am away from me.
Who I am is all I am when I hold onto nothing but who I am holding onto nothing.
Who I am is nothing compared to my being all I’m meant to be when I am everything I am and nothing else.
Let me begin my day with a prayer of gratitude. For today, let me choose to be vulnerable to this moment where I release myself to the waters of life, supported by all that I am when I let go of everything in the presence of all that there is to hold onto, Love.
Namaste.
Dare Boldly 
I love Brene Brown! My counselor introduced me to her (not personally, of course).
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Vulnerability such a challenge with such reward… Love your post …It resonates in my core…Love you Tamara
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Thanks Tamz — glad it resonates — excited to see you next week and for Mark Nepo! yeah!
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It is so hard to be vulnerable and evern harder to see that we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and yes I do think there are some people who do allow themselve to be vulnerable…………..
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it is hard Joanne — and the reward is great. And still, it’s hard!
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I think it takes enormous courage to be vulnerable, and to admit it – wonderful post!
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Thanks Julie. I read your posts about your journey with Ants and Ming and Parkinson’s and I witness vulnerability in action. Beautiful.
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Vulnerable … not an easy thing to be.
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Nope. something I love about your photos Susan is that the animals and birds you photograph are so trusting in their vulnerability.
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I LOVE this line: Arms wide, embracing the world, heart broken open in song, I dance in the light of being my most amazing self and invite you to dance. With me. Alone. Together. Apart. We dance and create a wondrous rhythm of feet pounding a beat of freedom.
Well written, keep shining and lighting the way!
xo
Diana
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Thanks Diana! Let’s dance! 🙂
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Yes, let’s dance!
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At your birthday! Real soon! 🙂
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When I let go of needing to please, to measure up, to be the same or to be different, and WHEN I LOVE / ACCEPT / EMBRACE myself… EVERYTHING CHANGES!
Louise you are PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT in my books because you have a huge heart, compassion…. and have let go of this need to be perfect!
I am so glad you’re in my life.
PS – when are you back in CALGARY?
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Thanks Dianne. I’m glad you’re in mine. Your friendship is a gift. I’m back! 🙂
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I often think of how many people Brene Brown has touched. There is so much truth in what she says, and yet it’s a truth we too often deny because we don’t want to accept our narratives. Even more difficult is giving ourselves the privilege of living out that truth about vulnerability. I’m delighted I came across year via TED and shared what she has to say.
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Thanks Maureen. When I see the millions who have watched her TED talks — and watched them again, I am so grateful she has shared her work — as she says, shame is an epidemic, and we are all looking for the courage to let it go and be vulnerable — and connected — in our lives. Hugs
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Beautiful. I love Brene Brown! I recall something she said about the necessity of being vulnerable. If we aren’t vulnerable because we want to shut out negative outcomes such as shame, guilt, rejection, scorn and pain we can’t do that without also shutting out the true positive outcomes of joy, wonder, acceptance, love and pleasure. It’s true … When we numb one set of emotions we numb them both! BTW I love your work too!
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So true Ian — the reciprocity of numbing one. And thank you 🙂 I love yours too and am so glad you’re blogging regularly. Your words always inspire me.
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