I know. I know. It may not feel earth-shattering to you, but to me, going away from this place where I write daily, where I become present to all that is within me coming out, well…. I’ve missed it.
Well, actually, beyond missing it, I’ve discovered I need it. I need the daily accountability, the expectation that I turn up here to be at peace in the presence of my daily foibles, follies and triumphs with an open and seeing heart, and loving and peaceful mind.
I have missed the act, and the art, of writing here daily. I have missed the rhythm I feel when I am in the flow of writing myself out every morning.
And… truth be told, I haven’t used this time to actually get work on my book done. I’ve made progress, but not nearly as much as I had anticipated when I made the commitment two months ago to use this time every morning to work on my book. I have re-purposed that time, but not as purposefully as I had intended.
What I discovered in my hiatus was that this place is what helps keep me in balance, in the flow, in perspective. It helps me see where I am off, on, in, or out of alignment with living from my higher self and not my baser impulses. It is here that I come clean with myself every morning and dig into what’s eating at my peace of mind, what’s stirring my soul, what’s inspiring my spirit. It is here that I find myself each morning.
And, I miss all of you. I have purposefully not gone diving into blogs every day. I have purposefully not responded to comments. I have purposefully not been present here.
There are some advantages to all my purposeful withdrawal from this place. And not all of them are worth experiencing. I have watched way more TV than ever before. Gotten addicted to some vacuous programming that really doesn’t change my state of being other than to make me consumed with the desire to know if Bones can put all the pieces together again, if Arrow can shoot straight and the Blue Bloods get their man. But filling my spirit, feeding my soul? Nope. None of that appeared as I vegged out in front of a rectangular box that doesn’t really care if I turn up or not.
I care if I turn up and I have not been turning up for me in a way that pleases me.
So, beginning today, I am back. I am going to re-think how and to what purpose I use this energy we call time. I am going to be present, in all my foibles, follies and triumphs. I am here. I shall begin again where I’m at.
It may not be everyday — but it will be most days. One of the things that has changed is that I am now on staff with the Calgary Homeless Foundation 3.5 days a week. I love it, but it means I leave the house an hour earlier than in the past. It also means, I have the gift of 1.5 days a week to write, and not fill my time with running here and there, doing all those fun things I like to do to distract myself. I’m getting real serious about how I use my energy and the energy of time. I’m getting real serious about this thing I call, My Life.
Hope to see you here. Hope you keep visiting and commenting and sharing your foibles, follies and triumphs with me. I appreciate your light and presence on my journey.