Dare boldly

A blog by Louise Gallagher

The snooze button and me.

11 Comments

I am in the third week of a summer cold. Nothing remarkable, distinguishable or memorable about it, other than, it drags me down and leaves me feeling tired most of the time.

And feeling tired is not a comfortable state of being for me!

To quote my auntie Maggie, What to do? What to do?

Nothing, other than perhaps nurture myself, give myself a break and take it easy. Perhaps that’s why they invented summer vacations in the first place, to give us time and space to take a rest without guilt as a constant companion.

Poet Criss Jami wrote, β€œIt has always seemed that a fear of judgment is the mark of guilt and the burden of insecurity.”

Feeling tired always makes me feel guilty. Perhaps the underlying motivation for my feelings of guilt is that I measure my worth on how much I do, and not on my value as a human being.

“If you don’t keep doing, people will think you’re lazy,” my inner critic whispers. “And nobody likes someone who’s lazy.”

My rational mind, hearing (well seeing actually because I just typed the words) leaps into action and replies, “Well, actually, it’s not about people thinking you’re lazy. that’s not what’s got you feeling insecure. It’s that you think you only have value in the world if you’re constantly doing, constantly in action, constantly saving the world. It’s all about feeling uber-responsible for the world, and not trusting the Universe to turn up and be present.”

My inner critic laughs. “It has nothing to do with saving the world. It’s all about the fact you’re just a plain and simple fraud. You’re lazy and cover it up with always doing things, trying to be a more than everyone else kind of person.”

Taking a deep breath, my heart responds. “Stop it both of you. Neither of you has the right to judge. I am doing my best and feeling tired simply means I’ve depleted my energies and need to take care of me. Taking care of me first is always important because if I don’t give myself medicine, how will I have the energy to take care of others.”

“Maybe it’s not your job,” my voice of reason states with a smug grin. “Maybe nobody wants you to take care of them. Maybe you need to take care of you because that is your job.”

Happy to have my voice of reason on the defensive, my inner critic leaps into the fray. “Yeah! You always think it’s your job to take care of the world. You just think you’re too big for your britches. You think you’re so great. Well you’re not. You don’t even have the energy to get up on time! You hit snooze 3 times this morning and now look at the time. You’re late!”

And my heart sighs and my voice of reason nods its head, and my soul laughs.

Laughter truly is the best medicine.

All this energy debating why I should or should not feel guilty about feeling tired (I did hit the snooze 3 times) when seriously, accepting what is, I’ve got a summer cold and I feel tired, does not mean I have to invoke the fifth or fifty-fifth amendment to explain why I’m feeling tired. The reason why I’m feeling tired is not as relevant as what I’m doing to take care of me where I’m at — in my summer cold cycle and all of that!

And it means, I get to decide if I hit the snooze and feel okay about hitting the snooze button or not.

I hit the snooze button 3 times this morning. The sun still shines. The earth still holds its orbit and the moon has gone to bed. Time for me to get up and get into action, without carrying a truck load of guilt on my shoulders!

Time to celebrate another day and give it my 100% even when I’m feeling like my energy is a 5 out of 10. Because, to ‘para-phrase/quote’ the amazing Thelma Box, founder of Choices, whether I’m at a 10 or a 3, I give my 100% to where ever I’m at.

Here’s to giving my 100% to the best of my ability today. Here’s to letting go of judgement and surrendering to Love with 100% of my heart.

 

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Author: Louise Gallagher

I believe we each have the capacity to be the change we want to see in the world, to make a world of difference. I believe we are creative beings on the journey of our lifetimes. It's up to each of us to Live It Up and SHINE!

11 thoughts on “The snooze button and me.

  1. It seems you are the only one worried about how you are perceived.

    Consider that as wasted energy you could put to much better use.

    Sorry to hear, as the frog would say, ‘that a bug has got you down’ ….

    Keep on – don’t worry about how you are seen, focus on what you see. Don’t worry about what anyone has to say, focus on what you say. Don’t worry about how anyone else feels, focus on what you feel.

    You see, say, feel – what else is there worth doing?

    Keep doing, keep telling, keep on yelling – bring attention to things that matter and worry less about who sees you or what they think when you do something because you aren’t doing it for them, you are doing it for you.

    I recommend curling up with a good book, or with someone who has read one . . .

    Cheers,

    Mark

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  2. Hope you feel better soon.

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  3. “And my heart sighs and my voice of reason nods its head, and my soul laughs.” Louise, you are wonderful. Listen to that heart. My guess is that you are only “lazy” on days you genuinely need more rest. That said, I understand your commitment to the 100%. It is a consecration of your time and talents, isn’t it? I expect you to hear a “Well done, Louise” at the end of it all.

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  4. Having read some of your blogs that are written at 3 am and wondering whether that was a late night or early morning, I would be curious to know what time the alarm is set for?

    To let you into a little secret, I never set an alarm and have not for thirty years. The only exception is if I have to catch a very early plane. My uncle taught me this as the best way of overcoming tiredness and he is correct (although not many people believe me). If you wake with an alarm you can be woken out of a deep sleep and that makes you groggy all day, whereas if you wake without an alarm you wake during a period of REM (rapid eye movement) and always wake refreshed and charged. Try it and see. If you have something important on, believe me that eventually you are able to will yourself to wake at the right time during a period of REM and you will not be late.
    My normal wake time now is far earlier than my previous alarm and I am now always bright and cheery in the mornings whereas I used to always drag my feet.

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    • it’s usually early morning Elizabeth — if I wake up and can’t sleep, I write. πŸ™‚

      And I love your Uncle’s secret. I will definitely start teaching myself to wake this way — I’ve tried it in the past, and spend half the night worried I won’t wake up on time, so i keep checking the clock…. until eventually, I just get up and write! πŸ™‚

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