I’m starting over again. Yup. I’m activating my “Always begin again” muscles and re-igniting my clearing out my house commitment.
Earlier this year I started a page on this blog called — KISS My Life. the purpose, and goal, was to eliminate one item of clutter from my house a day. I’d take a photo of the disposed article and post it on the page.
Needless to say, the need to re-engage means I didn’t keep it up.
Now, I could beat myself up about falling down, or I could cover-up my embarrassment with claims of, well I didn’t want to do it in the first place but the truth is — I fell down. I want to keep moving on. I want to keep clearing up the clutter. It’s time to begin again.
And I laugh at myself and shake my head in wonder and exclaim with glee, “I am so fascinating!”
Because it’s true. We all are. Fascinating.
Seriously. We are. Fascinating. We’re these complex, amazing, unbelievably powerful beings who grow from a tiny figment of an evolutionary impulse to create something miraculous into these human beings who can dream and think and speak and push obstacles out of the way and scale mountains and leap from airplanes and dive beneath the ocean deep and explore unknown frontiers of outer space. And we do it all using devices and machines and technologies we created.
Isn’t that fascinating?
We’ve put a man on the moon. We’ve touched down on Mars. We’ve journeyed deep into unknown waters and explored deep beneath the earth’s surface where we dig out oil that we transform into energy that fuels the world.
I think that’s fascinating.
And still, a little thing like not keeping up with a commitment to clear out clutter can stop us in our tracks and cripple us in self-defeating angst.
Why is it that I can be interviewed on national radio one week and the next I’m beating myself up because I didn’t keep to a commitment I made with myself to do something that needs doing to create the life I want?
What gives that I let a little bitty thing like ‘not doing’ keep me from ever again doing the things I want, desire, need to do to live in the rapture of now?
Think about it. Every day I do a gazillion little things really really well, and some big things too! Why, just yesterday, I got up, meditated, posted my blog, fed the animals, made the bed, showered, drove through busy streets filled with people going about their day — and I didn’t hit even one of them. I didn’t speed through red lights, cause an accident or miss my turn. I stopped. I started. I moved ahead. I moved backwards. I fit into a parking spot. I gathered up my belongings and walked to my office. And I did it all effortlessly. (Though I did forget my cell phone at home — does that make me a failure to thrive suspect?)
Later, on my way to a meeting, I walked down the street and passed two visibly homeless older men sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette and talking. I smiled and said “Good morning” as I passed by and they smiled back and one of them called after me, “I like your dress!” I turned back and smiled and said thank you and then we both carried on with our days. It was an unexpected human interaction that left me feeling buoyed up and I didn’t even plan it, or think about it, or make it happen. It just did.
Don’t you think that’s fascinating?
And then, I met with a co-worker and we talked about an idea she’s floating and I gave her some feedback and we explored her idea back and forth and both of us got excited about the possibilities and now we’re taking steps to move it forward to make it happen because — it’s a really good idea and it’s worth following up on.
isn’t that fascinating too? How one person’s idea can spark a conversation and from that spread out to become possibility expanding into more?
And still, I want to beat myself up about not keeping KISS My Life a priority. I want to label myself an abject failure, a dismissal expression of human incompetence. I want to tell myself I never finish anything. I don’t keep my commitments. I may as well just go curl up into a ball and hide beneath the covers because seriously, what’s the point? You’ll just fall down again.
Nope. Not true. Not going to happen. In fact, it doesn’t have to happen because, I have choice. I am 100% responsible for my response to what happens in my life — and that includes my thinking.
I get that thoughts appear without my actually inviting them in. I get that in their appearance, I don’t always make the wisest or best choices — and nobody’s telling me to make those choices, it’s me, myself and I — and sometimes, my I doesn’t always get a voice. Sometimes, my me wants to make it all about me the loser, me the failure, me the “you’re not good enough”
Enough! I do enough. I give enough. I am enough.
I am me and that’s good enough for me, in fact, it’s fabulous for me because being me leaves room for you to be you and you to be you and you to be you and in it all, there’s one undeniable, absolutely amazing fact — We are fascinating!
So, given that I didn’t KISS My Life for a few months, I get to decide differently today. I get to change my mind, redirect my thinking. and begin again. AND, I get to acknowledge — I am so fascinating!
Go ahead — try it. Go look in a mirror, smile at yourself and declare proudly, “I am so fascinating!”
It’s true! You are!