I know. I know. Saying nice things about you, to you, from you, feels… conceited. Weird. Odd. Uncomfortable.
Don’t let critter-mind thinking steal your light. Don’t let doubt undermine your capacity to celebrate you!
To receive compliments from others, you have to be willing to hear them and accept their words as truth. And what better way to practice truth-hearing than all alone in your bathroom?
If you are uncomfortable standing in front of a mirror, looking into your eyes and saying, I Love You, ask yourself… What’s the worst that could happen?
So what if you blush? So what if you cry? You’re alone. Maybe you blush because it’s true and you’re afraid to state it. Maybe you’re afraid it’s not true and that makes you cry. Whatever the response, let it be what it is while you practice standing in front of a mirror, looking yourself in the eyes and saying, I Love You.
It’s good soul-food.
Some time ago a friend gave me a package of crayons that write on glass. For weeks, I wrote a love note to my beloved every morning on the bathroom mirror. At first, he didn’t say much and then, he started to write me notes on the mirror in our bedroom.
What a gift.
I loved getting his messages. I loved knowing he was thinking of me. (Note to Self: Dig out the crayons. Get writing again!)
So, if you are uncomfortable writing the love note to yourself, write it to someone else — and then… read it out loud to yourself!
Bonus! The other person, whether they read it or not, will have ‘received’ your gift of words, and so will you!
Go ahead. Explore what it means to say nice things about yourself. Let your imagination run wild. In its wild cavorts of fancy and delight, the critter-mind won’t be able to find the air to flare up and douse your passionate embrace of you with its flames of condescension and condemnation! YES!
Last week’s Act of Grace — to share a hug — brought interesting results. I started with people at the office and found both joyful acceptance and guarded acceptance. But always there were smiles.
I asked a woman at the grocery store who shared a story while we looked over the tomatoes if she would like a hug and she promptly said, “Yes!” There we were, standing heart to heart in the produce aisle, surrounded by plump fresh vegetables and fruits. I swear they did a little dance!
When a man at the park offered Beaumont some water, I didn’t ask if I could give him a hug of gratitude. I did thank him and say, “That is very kind.” Like readers said, being conscious of boundaries is important.
A little girl gave me the best hug ever. She is the grand-daughter of a woman I often encounter at the dog park and when I met her, I didn’t need to ask if she wanted a hug. She just stepped in and hugged me. Pure delight! Of course, Beaumont wanted in on the action too, which made her giggle with pure delight.
An interesting self-observation I notice is that the further in time I get from a week of coaching at Choices, the less likely I am to hug people when I meet them. I think it comes from feeling safe, or not, in the world. The Choices seminar room is an incredibly safe and loving space, I don’t ‘think’ about hugging, I just do it. In the beautiful, rarified air of love and acceptance that I find in the Choices environment, connecting with people is easy, effortless and second nature.
Did you hug last week? What did you observe?