It is easy to justify our actions and words when we’ve behaved poorly, been mean, rude, cruel to another. In fact, it often feels better to blame another so that we don’t have to be accountable. All we have to tell ourselves to make our bad behaviour less potent is say, “It’s not my fault. It’s their fault. If they hadn’t ___________, or if they would just _______________ then I wouldn’t ______________.”
And we all do it.
Blaming our actions on someone else’s doings, however, is just another way of staying unaccountable for ourselves. It takes the sting out of our not living true to our principles, beliefs, integrity.
Let go of finding fault for yourself in someone else’s actions and let being kind, doing no harm be your guide. Ask yourself, is my response creating more of what I want in my life? Will this get me more joy, happiness, love, peace? If it won’t, then ask yourself, What can I do differently?
It’s not that you’re making someone else’s bad behaviour okay. It is never okay when someone does things that hurt or harm. Behaving badly because they did is not a good reason for living life outside integrity.
You can still hold them accountable for their behaviour and be accountable for your own by not blaming them for your poor responses — and when we are 100% accountable for how we behave, and focus on Do No Harm we create a better world.
And we all deserve a better world!