Unlike past visits from the other side where my mother sat on the closed lid of the toilet smoking a cigarillo in a long ebony holder and drinking a martini, this visit was more in keeping with my idea of spirits from the other side.
Ethereal. Mystical. Luminous.
Like other visits however, she arrived while I was in the bath.
I of course responded like I always do. I piled the bubbles up in a vain attempt to ensure she could not see me naked.
“Louise my darling girl,” she said. Her voice was softer, warmer than I remembered it. Her gentle laugh made me think of raindrops dancing on still water. “Spirit doesn’t seek to see the human form. Spirit seeks only to experience the soul.”
“Better safe than sorry,” I replied. Though I don’t think I actually said it outloud, she heard me.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Louise,” she whispered. “You are safe in Love’s embrace.”
Harrumph. Who knew spirit was so literal?
She laughed that raindrop dancing laugh again and said, “There’s so much about life and spirit you do not know, Louise. Stop trying to find the answers.”
Again with the reading my mind.
“Life is full of mystery,” she whispered. “Your journey is not measured by how many answers you find before you go. It’s about allowing the mystery to be present, where ever you are, in the ineffable beauty of this moment.”
Seriously? I got so many questions I keep trying to answer and now she tells me to stop looking for answers and just be present?
Harrumph again.
And yet…
What if…
I just breathe?…
I close my eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Deeply.
I imagine my thoughts are like autumn leaves drifting down, down, down to the forest floor where they come to rest in the crucible of the womb of Mother Nature. I feel my body melt into the warm bathwater. My heartbeat slow. My breathing deepen.
I open my eyes.
She is gone.
Vanished.
And still, I know. Deep within my soul. I am not alone.
Dare Boldly 
what beautiful moments you shared…………
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Thank you Wendi. It has been lovely to be visited — while in life, my mother and I had a strained relationship, it feels like such a wonderful gift to be able to connect with her now. ❤
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I can definitely relate to a very strained relationship……so happy that you have received this gift. 🙂
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Each time I feel helpless I pray to my mom.for help and most of the times my problems are solved.My brain says that people who are gone take new birth and there is no way she is around listening to my whimpering but my heart strongly believes she will always be there to help me out..and this faith gives me the courage to go on…
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What a beautiful response Meena. Like you, I believe she will be too! ❤
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I struggle with things that I can’t make right. It is good to read your words. What a beautiful photograph too.
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I too struggle with that Nancy — it’s why I practice and write about letting go so much. it reminds me to do it. And thank you — both for reading my words and the photo comment — I took it on my walk along the river yesterday morning. It was such a beautiful morning! ,3
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Wonderful words, wonderful post
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Thank you Joanne. I often think about you and what a wonderful relationship you have with your mother when I write about my mother and our relationship. You are very blessed.
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You are so lucky to be visited like this… bubbles or no bubbles!
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LOL — I agree Dale – I do like bubbles though! 🙂
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As do I…
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This is truly beautiful Louise.
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Thank you LaDonna. ❤
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You challenge my beliefs and my vocabulary with this post. Good on you for that and for finding the beauty in being present.
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Ahh Bernie — my mother’s ‘visits’ are challenging mine too! But then in life, she always challenged me! 🙂 ❤
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I love this! What a beautiful and important message! And I love the way you described the experience!
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Thank you Tiffany! I am grateful for her ‘visits’. They have been very healing. ❤
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