Magical thinking weaves a persuasive spell, enchanting us into believing that the imprudent or harmful might just be perfectly fine. Indeed, magical thinking is a common thread in the tapestry of human psychology, varying in intensity from one individual to another. Nonetheless, irrespective of its strength, it seldom conjures the improvement or abundance we seek in our lives.
Several weeks ago, I confronted my magical thinking head-on— it’s the kind of magical thinnking that nudges me to indulge in things that seem okay but are not so wise according to plain old common sense. The battlefront? My closet, where I made the tough decision to part with several pairs of beloved shoes.
These weren’t just any shoes. They were the kind that transformed my appearance, elongating my legs (a feat only heels can accomplish) and perfectly completing certain ensembles. However, the stark reality is, the cost of looking good was simply too high. The heels exacerbated the arthritis in my feet, leading to pain that could steal my sleep and leave me tossing and turning, my feet pulsating with discomfort.
In a moment of clarity (and what felt like a whole lot of bravery) I donated a bag full of these beautiful shoes. But in a lapse back into my magical thinking, I held onto a couple of pair. I told myself they were the exception. Perhaps I’d wear them only occasionally or just for brief periods.
Who was I kidding?
I’ve learned that “if the shoe fits” doesn’t mean I should wear it—not when it costs me my well-being. For me, magical thinking lays at the sole of painful feet.
The question in Episode 38 of my Dare Boldly: No matter your age series is— where does magical thinking cloud your judgment? Where does it lure you into making choices that might feel good momentarily but ultimately do you harm?
For me, surrendering these shoes was a tangible step towards prioritizing my health over vanity. Beyond just physical items, it’s a metaphor for any aspect of life where we may hold onto harmful patterns simply because they feel good or fit an image we want to project.
What is your version of the shoes you need to give away? What are you willing to change to protect yourself from the seductive yet harmful embrace of magical thinking?
Dare Boldly 
It doesn’t say who wrote it
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I just read this..
No
Is a necessary magic
No
draws a circle around you
With chalk
And says
I have given enough
– boundaries
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oh wow Bernie! What a fabulous poem — perhaps who wrote it isn’t mentioned because it’s such a beautiful universal thought?
Thank you for sharing! ❤
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Weird how I saw it just after reading your post
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I am still laughing at your post. Heels!! Those days are long gone. I used to have a pair of burgundy kid leather pumps, 3 inch heels. Rarely wore them – for obvious reasons. One day my staff figured out if I was wearing this particular pair of shoes I was “out for blood” – not sure what they meant by that. However, they were usually quiet those days.
Seriously, at our age, heels are definitely not in the closet. I tried to buy a simple pair of dress shoes, with a bit of a heel, and ended up getting something that was totally not me, but fit the bill for a few hours at a wedding, in 30C heat.
Unfortunately, due to a back accident, I need about an inch more than flat shoes. And then there is the arch support that keeps the “orthotics” at bay, hopefully forever. Why are things so complicated?
I have purged my shoe closet many times, and usually succeed in not replacing what has gone out the door. Do I really need 2 dozen pairs? MM is happy to see that I now fit into one hanging shoe bag, though the shoes change with the seasons.
On the other hand, shoes fit much better way back when we were younger, more spry and able to dance the night away – just saying!
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Haha! That’s hilarious about your burgundy pumps! And I’m impressed! You actually don’t replace what has gone out the door? Wow — I inevitably have succumbed in the past…. This time, I’ll be different! 🙂
PS — I still like to dance the night away — as long as I’m not wearing heels!
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I quit wearing heels when I was 25. Never missed them. I am short, and that’s just the way it is. They caused such back pain it was never worth it.
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I hear you Bernie! I ‘quit’ wearing high heels in my 20s as well, but still wore 2 inch pumps and things — and now…. no pump. no kittenheels, just nice flat — with good arch support! That’s vital. 🙂
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I don’t have a lot of shoes but the ones I have a good quality.
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