On June 20th, 1995, as my father exhaled his final breath surrounded by family, I felt Love’s profound presence envelop the room. In that sacred moment, my father’s long-held anger, described by a friend as sometimes being like the meow of a pussycat, but more often the roar of a lion, seemed to dissolve into nothingness. Yet, in the wake of his passing, a storm of family drama ensued, igniting a fire of anger and angst amongst us, his four children. This turmoil, further fueled by the loss of our brother a year and a half later, continued to churn and ripple through our lives.

• Through grief’s lens, I learned that anger is not the echo of the soul but a human reaction, transient and fleeting.

• Grief also unveiled a deep truth — how easy it is to prioritize anger over surrendering to Love.

In 1997, the passing of my brother was shrouded in familial discord, casting a lengthy shadow of anger over the love I held for him. It took years to see beyond that shadow, to remember him without the filter of resentment.

• Grief illuminated the possibility of loving someone despite the pain their actions caused you and your loved ones.

• It also reminded me of the importance of embracing our emotions, no matter how uncomfortable. In the discomfort of our feelings, Love finds space to bridge the divide between solace and discord.

As 2020 dawned and Covid’s shadows loomed, my mother embarked on her final journey. Every day for her final two weeks, my sisters, daughters and kept a vigil by her side, sharing the watch through her final nights. In a moment of solitude, as my sister left the room in the early morning hours to grab a cup of tea, she quietly slipped away. And though she left this world in her chosen way, quietly and without a fuss, we grappled with the idea of her dying alone.

• Grief taught me that death operates beyond the realm of human desires and needs. It is a passage that can only be taken by those who embark on the journey beyond life.

• Grief also reaffirmed that while death waits in the wings, life demands for us to live it fully and passionately. It’s our duty to make every moment count, letting death take care of its own inevitability.

Recently, as my sister Jackie teetered on the delicate line between life and death, I found myself yearning to pull her back, to alter her destined path.

• Grief gently reminded me of my limitations as a mortal, that the power to alter another’s journey is not within my grasp.

• Grief has also taught me that life is a sacred covenant we enter into at birth, emerging into this world with cries and yearnings, longing for the safety of the womb that nurtured us from conception. We cannot turn back time, any more than we can return to the womb’s sanctuary.

Ultimately, in this journey through valleys shadowed by grief, I’ve discovered profound truths about life, love, and the human spirit. Every loss carved a deeper space in my heart, a space where sadness and love coexist, teaching me the resilience of the human soul.

Grief, with its unyielding tides, has been my relentless teacher, guiding me to a place of deeper understanding and compassion. It has shown me that in the midst of our deepest sorrows, there lies the potential for the greatest growth.

As I continue to navigate this unpredictable path, I carry with me the lessons learned, the love cherished, and the strength found in the heart of grief. For in the end, it is not just about learning to live with loss, but about allowing grief to teach us how to live more fully, love more deeply, and embrace each fleeting moment with the reverence it deserves.