Category Archives: aging with grace

Does What You Learned in Your Youth Serve You Today?

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As we grow older, we often realize that some of the lessons and advice we received in our youth don’t serve us as well as we thought. Until we are courageous enough to explore these messages, we may find ourselves repeating patterns that no longer benefit us.

Take my experience, for instance. Growing up, my mother always emphasized being ‘nice,’ even when others were rude or unkind. The underlying message was to never express my true feelings. As a result, I often tolerated unacceptable behavior. It wasn’t until later in life that I learned the importance of setting clear boundaries and speaking my truth with kindness. This not only teaches others how to treat us but also ensures we don’t accept the unacceptable as acceptable.

These early lessons can impact us in many areas of our lives, such as:

  • In Our Relationships: Not being able to speak our truth can lead to resentment and misunderstandings in our relationships. When we suppress our true feelings to keep the peace or be ‘nice,’ we may end up feeling unvalued and resentful. This can create a cycle of dissatisfaction and conflict, undermining the very relationships we are trying to preserve.
  • In Our Schooling: These lessons can keep us underachieving, not reaching our full potential because we don’t believe we’re capable or deserving. On the other hand, they might push us to overachieve, striving for perfection and setting ourselves up for a life filled with constant stress and anxiety.
  • In Our Careers: Not standing up for ourselves or setting clear boundaries can hold us back from achieving the success we desire. We might not advocate for the raises or promotions we deserve, or we might take on too much work to please others, leading to burnout.

The key to breaking these patterns is courage. We need to be brave enough to question and explore these messages from our past. Only then can we begin to reshape them into healthier, more empowering beliefs.This journey of exploration and growth is a key focus of my program, “The ReWrite Journey.” In this course, we delve into our lifelines and explore the values and beliefs we formed based on our experiences. We then examine how the decisions we made in the ‘there and then’ shape our lives and can become limiting in the ‘here and now’ if they are not aligned with our true values. For instance, I believe in kindness, but without setting clear boundaries that respected me, I ended up feeling frustrated and disrespected, because the core underlying belief I’d unintentionally learned in childhood was, ‘my voice doesn’t matter’ Aka – I don’t matter.

By understanding and realigning our beliefs, we can create a life that honours our true values and supports our well-being.

So, there’s the invitation–What’s one piece of advice or wisdom you received in your childhood or teenage years that, in hindsight, turned out to be less helpful or even misguided? How has recognizing and addressing this affected your life? I invite you to share your experiences in the comments below — when we share our courage to be brave and vulnerable, we inspire others to take the journey of growth and self-discovery.

If you’re interested in exploring these concepts further, I invite you to chat with me about “The ReWrite Journey.” I’ve just begun with a new cohort but it’s not too late to join the journey! All things are possible when we uncover the beliefs holding us back and rewrite them to align with our true values, so that we can live a more empowered and fulfilling life.

From Giving to Living: Balancing Self-Care with Caring for Others

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Throughout our lives, especially as women, we often prioritize caring for others over ourselves. Whether as mothers, partners, friends, or colleagues, we frequently extend compassion and care outward, sometimes leaving very little for ourselves.

As we age, this pattern can persist if we do not consciously assess our own self-care practices. Proper self-care is crucial for living fully and passionately. It not only enhances our ability to care for others but also protects us from accumulating resentment and bitterness. Constantly prioritizing others can lead to an empty well of empathy and compassion.

Many factors contribute to neglecting self-care, including childhood conditioning, societal expectations, and a lack of self-belief. Without examination, these habits can lead to perpetual feelings of fatigue, burnout, and emptiness.

That’s why I’ve created the ‘Self-Care Check-In,’ a simple yet powerful tool to assess your self-care habits.

Why Reflective Journaling? Reflective journaling makes our thoughts and feelings tangible, allowing us to address often overlooked needs, desires, and well-being. This exercise encourages you to pause and ask whether you treat yourself with the same kindness and love you offer others.

In reflective journaling, there’s no judgment—only curiosity and empathetic acceptance. It opens a space for awareness, helping you explore possibilities for more loving self-care practices.

Self-Care Isn’t Just Pampering It’s about recognizing our worth and making ourselves a priority. By responding to specific questions through journaling, we can gauge our current self-care practices and identify steps to integrate better self-care into our daily routines.

Remember, the way we treat ourselves sets the stage for how we interact with the world, especially as we embrace the bold and brilliant years of our lives.

Let’s Get Started:

  1. Open your journal to a new page and title it ‘Self-Care Check-In.’
  2. At the top right-hand corner of the page, write a large A+. You’ve already started practicing positive self-care by showing up on the page—that deserves an A+.
  3. Below are four questions to help you assess your self-care. Please answer spontaneously, without overthinking.
    • Physical Self-Care: “What is one physical activity I did for myself today? (e.g., stretching, walking)”
    • Emotional Self-Care: “What is one thing I did today to make myself feel loved or supported?”
    • Mental Self-Care: “What is one thing I did today that brought me peace or rest?”
    • Gratitude: “What is one thing I am grateful for about myself today?”

After answering these questions, reflect on which area was most challenging and consider what steps you can take to improve self-care in that area.

For me, emotional self-care requires daily conscious effort. What about you?

I’d love to read your thoughts and experiences. Please share them in the comments below.

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We explore Self-Care and what holds us back from extending it to ourselves in my 8 week program, The ReWrite Journey.

I’ll be starting a new cohort Monday, May 13th at 5:30pm MT.

Gift yourself time to explore the art of ageless living with The ReWrite Journey.

Learn more HERE

How Will You Be Remembered?

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True or False? Most of us like to believe we are unforgettable—that when we pass away, our memories will continue to live in the hearts and minds of those we love.

The truth is, we all hope to be remembered.

But here’s the catch: for how many generations will we be remembered? Do you know the first name of your great-grandfather? His birthplace? What he was most proud of? Like most people, you probably know details about one or two generations back, but beyond that, memories tend to fade.

It’s not just the passage of time that causes the threads of memory to weaken; it’s also distance. The further removed we are from the lives of those who came before us, the easier it becomes to not look back.

So, how do we weave golden threads of memory that not only last but guide and inspire future generations?

This is where The ReWrite Journey comes into play. My two-month course is designed specifically for women over 50 who are seeking to leave a meaningful legacy. Through this journey, participants will discover strategies to document their lives, articulate their experiences, and express their values, ensuring that their legacies are not just remembered but cherished.

In The ReWrite Journey, we do more than just recount the past; we reshape how the future remembers us. By actively planning our ‘age journey,’ we create a tapestry of memories that not only tell our story but also serve as a beacon for others to follow.

Are you ready to ensure that your life is not just lived but remembered? Join me on The ReWrite Journey, and let’s start weaving those golden threads together.

To further enrich your journey towards a meaningful legacy, I invite you to join my Free Online transformational masterclass, Radiant Bold Aging. This is an opportunity for you to delve deeper into the art of vibrant living and legacy building. Together, we will explore innovative strategies and insights that empower you to embrace your later years with enthusiasm and grace. Don’t miss this chance to transform your tomorrow.

Sign up today for RADIANT BOLD AGING – May 2, 5pm – 6:30pm (MT) and take the first step towards your radiant and bold future!

Why be a Princess when you can be Queen?

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As young girls, we reveled in fairytales, enchanted by princesses who slept for a century, spun straw into gold, or toiled under the harsh commands of wicked stepmothers. We admired their beauty and grace, yet seldom questioned their lack of autonomy. These princesses, perennially waiting for rescue, mirrored a narrative that offered no guide on harnessing our intrinsic strengths. Just like the incomplete princess awaiting Prince Charming, the roadmap for growing older and claiming our queenly powers was conspicuously absent, leaving us to navigate for ourselves the road through dormant potential to becoming women brimming with passion, wisdom, and joy.

As women over 50, we’ve traversed the dense forests of life’s challenges and triumphs. We’ve built careers, nurtured families, and endured the relentless grind of daily responsibilities. Through it all, we’ve cultivated a formidable power—the power of experience and wisdom.

In my transformative masterclass, ‘Radiant Bold Aging,’ I delve into the incredible strength, courage, and resilience we possess. Despite hardships and losses, we’ve persevered, gathering wisdom and courage with each challenge faced.

Now, at this pivotal age of embracing our ‘Queen Within,’ it is precisely this courage, strength, resilience, and wisdom that we must lean into enrich and illuminate our path forward.

For decades, we prioritized the needs of others, often sidelining our own. But what if we shifted this balance? What if we placed our desires, our ambitions, our wellness at the forefront? Imagine the boundless possibilities when we focus on cultivating our inner sovereignty.

This journey isn’t about discarding our past; it’s about building upon the vast reservoir of skills and insights we’ve accumulated. It’s about recognizing that we have always been the heroines of our own stories—not waiting to be saved, but actively saving ourselves and, in doing so, setting a powerful example for those around us. And through this process, we chart the very map that was absent when we were children, captivated by the tales of princesses in a land far, far away. A map that will guide women, not yet at the threshold of their Queendom, navigate the road ahead.

Join me at RADIANT BOLD AGING as we explore what it means to truly rule our own lives with soul-driven grace, resilience, wisdom, and power.

To register for RADIANT BOLD AGING, tomorrow at 4pm MT click the photo below.

To link readers to my registration page for Radiant Bold Aging

Dare to Claim Your Right to be Your Own Queen

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There comes a time in every woman’s life when dreams of being a fairytale princess evolve into the realization that to fully embrace their potential, they must step into the next chapter and claim their right to be queen in their own lives. It’s time to reign over their Queendom and sit upon the throne of their own design.

Yet, too often, we hesitate. We stall and forestall. We tell ourselves we can’t step out and shine brightly or sing loudly—just in case others take notice. Just in case they talk, mock, or shun us.

Enough.

We are born to shine. We are born to cast off the limiting beliefs that push us into the shadows, dimming our light and our capacity to make a difference.

It’s one of the many gifts of aging. The realization that only we hold our unique gifts, and holding them tight denies the world the possibilities that open up when we share them.

Recently, someone asked if I feel self-conscious when speaking into the camera. “Feeling self-conscious is a form of false humility,” I replied. “I do it to inspire other women to do the same. Why feel self-conscious when what I’m doing is modeling bravery?”

Years ago, I wrote a story for my daughters called “Princess Iwannabe.” At the time, they were preteens, and I wanted to inspire them to cast off the need to fit in so that they could carve their own paths.

Princess Iwannabe resisted taking up her Queenly duties, preferring instead to sit around eating bonbons, waiting for her Prince Charming. When told she had to learn the duties of a Queen, she ran away from the castle. She had many adventures and ultimately discovered that the Prince Charming she was waiting for was never coming. Instead, she was waiting for herself to wake up to her own power.

Awakened, I am standing in my power and claiming my right to be Queen in my own life.

What about you?

Are you ready? Will you dare to cast off self-doubt and fear to step beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone into a whole new era of living wild and free in the land of your own Queendom?

Are you ready?

There’s no age-limit on dreaming

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While strolling along the river’s still-frozen shoreline with Sir Beaumont the Sheepadoodle, a thought struck me with the suddenness of the squirrel that had crash-landed on our deck this morning, scrambling for an escape. This thought – “Why are you so concerned about aging, Louise?” – whirled through my mind, refusing to settle despite my efforts to focus on the present.

It was relentless. As if possessed a life of its own, operating independently from my conscious self. Ever experience that? When your mind feels detached, a whirlwind of thoughts you can’t seem to control?

Right. And there I am wandering off topic. Back to the present…

The crux of my concern isn’t so much the personal fear of aging. It’s about our societal attitudes towards aging and how these collective perceptions shape not only our individual beliefs but our experiences as we age. They influence how we see ourselves, our abilities to contribute and find meaning, and our place within families, communities, and society at large.

Society’s view on aging deeply affects our personal viewpoints, beliefs and actions.

But there’s more to it than societal perceptions. The frequency and tone of portrayals of aging in advertising, movies, social media, and other media forms often diminishes as we grow older, making us feel invisible or irrelevant. This invisibility, this sense of being wrong for aging, is deeply concerning.

In my time working in the homeless-serving sector, I strived to change narratives individuals experiencing homelessness, our perceptions of homelessness and how we support those living it. I made an impact.

Now, as an older adult, I’m dedicated to altering perceptions around aging. My mission is to rekindle a sense of wonder and power in living and aging, encouraging individuals to embrace this journey fuelled by the knowledge they are not irrelevant or without agency. Our wisdom, experience, contributions make a difference.

So yes, I do ponder on aging a lot. Not out of fear, but out of love.

Aging comes with its set of unknowns and changes. However, I’d rather meet these changes head-on, actively participating in my own aging process, than hide away, passively awaiting the end.

I aspire to live each day fully, infusing every moment with wonder, awe, and curiosity. To keep unfolding my dream of a world where every life has value, no matter their age, origin or fairth. Let my every breath be a testament to a life lived beyond the confines of complacency, striving always to create better.

Let my every act inspire others to take action to engage with their aging in love with their dreams unfolding and their life well-lived.

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If you are interested in learning more about how to age with passion, purpose and pizzazz, join me on April 12 at 9am MT, for my 90 minute free masterclass, Radiant Bold Aging. (Click on image below to register)

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“Joy transcends age; it’s not confined to youth. It’s a universal treasure that spans all ages, reminding us that to experience joy we must embrace the journey of life with love, laughter, gratitude and compassion every day.” Louise Gallagher

As I sit before my computer navigating various sites to launch thep of unveiling another chapter of the Radiant Bold Aging Masterclass, and transforming my two-month ReEnvision Your Journey program into a six-month quest to champion women in crafting the life of their dreams, age notwithstanding, my journal pages have blossomed with musings on JOY.

What essence it holds, whence it springs. What, if anything, fills its void when it gently slips away? In its absence, where do I seek refuge? And why, oh why, does joy hold such paramount importance?

These existential ponderings, to me, are not just intriguing—they are essential quests for understanding.

Today, merrily working in my studio, with the melody of birdsong heralding spring to the barren branches of the trees that line the riverbank, and sunlight dancing on the snow-blanketed earth of our backyard, I found myself cradled in the sheer joy of the present.

Joy—like an ocean wave—envelops me, washing away the remnants of turmoil. It saturates my being when I cease to engage with joy’s thieves: resentment, regret, anger, sorrow, and the mundane grievances against the world’s bad drivers and the monotony of customer service scripts. Ah, those familiar foes.

I’ve come to realize that irrespective of age, emotions crash upon the shores of my consciousness, uninvited. To truly know Joy, I must allow these feelings to be swallowed by the temporal tides, and in their stead, embrace love, self-compassion, mindfulness, and the endless possibilities each moment holds.

In such moments, my heart feels lighter, my thoughts as clear as the rainbow stretching across the sky after a storm, and I am embraced once more with Joy.

Such a profound, exquisite blessing.

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Click image to register

What is this Aging Thing Anyway?

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Breaking News! Every single day, we’re all getting a little older.

I know, right? It’s pretty mind-blowing when you stop and think about it.

But here’s the thing: there’s this moment, this elusive line we cross, where suddenly it feels like the world is tapping us on the shoulder and saying, “Hey, guess what? You’re not just aging gracefully anymore. You’re officially ‘old’.”

Especially in our western society, where youth is worshipped and older folks often get sidelined, ignored in mainstream media, and sort of pushed to the sidelines of our conversations.

This past weekend, Third Action Film Festival held their 2024 Film Festival — a festival focused on shifting the narrative around aging to more age postive through sharing film and programs that tell the stories of older adults and the remarkable, everyday lives they lead. For a film or documentary to be eligible for the festival, the leading character must be over 65.

Those types of films and stories are hard to find, not because there aren’t a lot of older actors and people capable of starring in the films and documentaries. Nope. It’s because of a thing called ‘symbolic annihilation’. That’s where a certain group or cohort (like older people) are under-represented or simply not portrayed in mass media, including film, advertising and the internet.

As humans, when we don’t see ourselves represented in the media we consume, we begin to feel invisible, like our stories don’t matter, like we don’t matter. It can lead to feelings of isolation, aloneness, confusion and despair. Who am I if no one else sees me and I can’t see myself in what everyone else is seeing? Do I matter?

As an age and aging activist, I believe we all matter. We all make a difference, and as Mother Theresa suggests, this ocean of life in which we are all collectively swimming would be so much less without each of our drops.

Fact is, one day, each of our drops will evaporate from this ocean of life. It is part of the circle of life. Let’s not fade any drops out before their time. Let’s hold each drop as precious, every life as important to the whole of life.

So instead of fading into old age, let’s fade out that invisible line between getting older, and being ‘old’. Let’s start celebrating older age as a gift, a privilege, an amazing state of being present in this world.

‘Cause, the fact is, regardless of how old I am, my life will never be old to me.

What about you? What do you do to keep your life from becomng old news? Are you aging with passion, purpose, pizzazz?

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If you’re craving some tips on how to age with passion, purpose, and pizzazz, I’ve got a few spots left for my Radiant Bold Aging masterclass tomorrow. Check it out and join the party! Find out more HERE

Oh, and full disclosure: I didn’t make it to the festival this year. Life got busy, and I needed to hit the pause button for some much-needed self-care. But from what I’ve heard, it was one heck of an event. And you know what? I’m not even feeling the FOMO, because I had the most wonderful, rejuvenating weekend which culminated with dinner with friends and family. Sometimes, that’s just what the soul needs.

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As I journey through the inevitable process of aging, I’ve come to realize it’s high time I extend an apology to my body and seek its forgiveness.

Growing up with a blend of East Indian and Catholic influences, I’ve absorbed various cultural perspectives, but am, by and far, a product of western culture. In our Western-centric world, I’ve often treated my body like an Uber for my brain – a mere vehicle for my thoughts and ambitions, sometimes paying it with rich nourishment, sometimes with trash-talk and trash TV.

But here’s the challenge: although I might treat ‘my body’ as simple the arms and legs to move my head around, there’s no body-mind separation. I am my body – my body is me; it’s not just a sidekick I occasionally acknowledge like a distant cousin at a family reunion. My body isn’t just a vessel; it’s me, through and through.

And here’s the kicker: my mind has this annoying habit of trash-talking my body, especially those parts that are showing the wear and tear of time or my own neglect. Which, to be clear, given that there is no part of me that isn’t all of me and my body, when I call my right knee which is currently in one of its depressive states, stupid, I am calling all of me, stupid.

What’s even more amusing – or perhaps alarming – is how I feed my mind with garbage and then blame it for feeling sluggish. Hello, pot, meet kettle! Pouring junk into my “mind” is akin to dumping it directly into my body. Remember, there’s no compartmentalization here.

So, it’s time for a heartfelt apology to my body – and that includes my mind, my whole being. I’ve realized I’ve been verbally and at times physically, abusing myself in a way I wouldn’t dream of with my closest friend.

Mind, body, et mois are inseparable. We are one.

Forgiving myself is a crucial step in aging gracefully without lugging around the baggage of self-condemnation. It’s about letting go of the unkind words I’ve whispered to myself and the neglect I’ve inflicted on my body by treating it like a second class citizen in the world I inhabit.

Ultimately, forgiveness isn’t just a ticket to peace; it’s the path to gratitude. This morning, as I listen to the geese honking and watch them strut and fluff their wings on the ice bar where they are gathered, the sun is gracefully painting the sky in hues of rose and gold.

This is my world and all of me is welcome, no scratch that, needed in my world. In this place where I sit, one with the world within and around me, all of me gives thanks for this miraculous, mystical, and yes, occasionally creaky, vessel that houses the entirety of who I am.

Saturday Morning Haiku – Homage to Omar Khayyam

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I still possess The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam I gifted my father in October, 1972. I know the date as I wrote it on the inside cover when I gave it to him. A voracious reader, my father had a remarkable knack for recalling passages from beloved texts, often prompting me with, “What does that mean to you, Little One?”

I loved it when he called me by my nickname, a name only he used. It brought me closer to the enigma I always saw him as.

A not very patient man himself, whenever I displayed hints of my own impatience, he loved to quote from The Rubaiyat. “The Bird of Time has but a little way To fly — and Lo! the Bird is on the Wing.” I’d sigh and say, “Slow down. Enjoy the moment.”

He never just skimmed the surface of words; he delved deeper, seeking their core meaning. He also never gave me the deeper meaning, asking always to probe, to think about it, to consider the possibilities.

It is this legacy of questionning and probing I cherish most. His reverence for the written word gave me glimpses into worlds I never could have imagined. Books were sacred in our home, so sacred, he never marred their pages, except to inscribe a note inside the cover when gifting one.

In contrast, as the youngest of four, often feeling overshadowed by my only brother, the son upon whom the sun rose and set, or so I thought, my small acts of rebellion included annotating my books. This habit, perhaps a way to feel connected to my father, persists despite his admonitions I not do it.

This morning, as a flock of geese echoed over the river, my mind wandered to my father, his adoration for words, and the Rubaiyat. Inspired by Val Boyko’s inquiry on her blog, Find Your Middle Ground, “What brings a spring in your step these days?” I went in search of my father’s copy of The Rubaiyat and crafted this haiku.

Spring is on the wing,
Geese sing nature’s symphony—
In rest, time flows on.

Opening the book, I discovered my youthful dedication: signed, “The Brat.” This nickname, bestowed by my mother, was one she urged me to outgrow as I neared the end of my teenage years. “You’re not a child anymore,” she remarked once, with a wistful sigh, “though sometimes I wonder.”

That period marked a significant year—I had presented my father with The Rubaiyat and embarked on a bold attempt to attend university in Moscow. This move drew the attention of the Canadian security service, sparking a series of interrogations fueled by concerns over potential communist ties. Immersed in the world of my father’s spy novels, I found the situation amusing rather than alarming, cheekily inquiring, “Do you think I’m a spy? How thrilling!”

Thankfully, my father was acquainted with the interrogators and eased their concerns. “She’s merely pushing boundaries,” he assured them. “It’s just her way.”

Now at 70, it remains my way: to constantly challenge myself, to push boundaries, and to explore how high I can soar without wings.

This morning, geese rest upon the frozen river bank. And though I cannot ascertain the remaining flight left in their wings, I vow to extend my horizon until time rests.

Thanks dad.