It is something I hear a lot when I am talking about homelessness or the United Way or the Counselling Centre where I have been working on contract for the past six months — I didn’t know that. Or, I didn’t realize the agency does so much. Or, wow, that’s amazing.

And sometimes, I hear, the other side. Why should I care? Why can’t people just take care of it on their own? I do/did/have. It’s their own fault they’re homeless/broken/down and out. Nobody helped me when I was down/broken/hurting. Why can’t they just pull themselves up by the bootstraps and get over it and on with it? I did. Why can’t they?

It is always a tough question — why can’t they?

The simple answer is, because they can’t. If they could they wouldn’t be where they’re at, doing what they’re doing that is causing so much distress.

I can’t tell someone they need to care. They must care. They must ‘do something’. That’s not my vision. My role, as my Purpose Statement says,  is to “touch hearts and open minds to set spirits free.”

And I can’t do that if I am judging the people whose hearts and minds I am trying to touch. Opening minds doesn’t come with shutting the door on understanding different viewpoints. It comes through compassion, acceptance and respect of differing viewpoints — and then, being willing to explore the common ground between us so we can stand together and see the world around us from our human perspective of being connected, same but different — no matter our circumstances, no matter where in the world we stand.

And the best way I know to do that is to inspire others to explore with me that space where our judgements of one another, our belief in our rightness/their wrongness, our standing firmly on our side of the fence we built to keep ‘the other’ out, keep us apart, and separate from, our shared human condition.

It’s not our differences that keep us apart. It’s our belief in how those differences make one better than the other that separate us.

And when someone clings desperately to their point of view, my role is not to dislodge them or to shun them. It is to hold them compassionately in Love and understanding. To treat them with respect, no matter where they come from, no matter their circumstances, no matter where in the world they stand or how different their position is from mine.

I can only create a world of tolerance when I am accepting of other viewpoints and perspectives, knowing, there is no one way to achieve peace, no one path to joy or living in harmony. There are all ways, and all paths. They all form part of the picture. They are all part of how we do life, and death, on planet earth.

To end war I must accept war is how we, the human race, have chosen to be in this world. And in that acceptance, I make room for common ground to arise where we can all see that holding onto “I’m right. You’re wrong.” doesn’t make a world of difference I can live with. It only makes this space I’m in intolerable.

I don’t agree with war. Child abuse. Abuse of any kind. I don’t find poverty appealing. Mental illness healthy. Addictions life affirming.

And yet, I know that to stop it, to change what is apparent in our world of war and peace, abuse and kindness, poverty and abundance, sickness and well-being, I must do ‘the hard thing’, love ‘the other’ and all the sides of their equation, as if they were me. Because, who knows… Under the same circumstances, I too might do exactly what they are doing, be exactly the way they are being. And even if I didn’t, no matter my judgements, it is only when I quit shaming them, that room opens up for shame to let go of them. And in that vulnerable place where we drop all shame, miracles happen.

Namaste.

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