And the world continues to turn, the sun continues to rise and set, the moon to wax and wane.

And still, we wait.

We wait for the sun’s return, for a Son to be born, for peace, hope, love and joy to descend upon all mankind.

We wait and as we wait, our patience grows thin. We rush about, fighting crowds and traffic. We wait in endless check-out lines to buy one more gift, to put one more check-mark or scratch off one more item on the list that seems to grow longer as the days grow shorter.

And as we wait, our minds wander to thoughts of those who are no longer here. We remember their laughter. Their sweet voices. Their glowing eyes. Their dancing steps. And our heart yearns to hold them near, to feel their gentle touch, to see their beautiful smile.

And amidst the glitter and bows, the twinkling lights and crinkly paper, amongst the holiday cheer and ho, ho, ho’s, we wonder, how can this be? How can they be gone when the magic and wonder and mystery of Christmas is all around? How can they not be here when as predictably as Christmas decorations appearing in the mall the day after Halloween, we counted upon their presence to remind us that love is all around, love is all we need at this special time of year, at any time of year.

How can this be?

And so this is Christmas.

Our heart’s know what our mind does not want to believe. Time has turned, days have passed, weeks, months, years have slipped by. And in their passing, those who were once held fast to this time and place have passed on and nothing we do or say or wish can bring them back. We cannot touch them, hear them, feel them. We cannot bring them back and so must let them go so that we can listen for our hearts calling us to awaken from these long dark nights of winter.

For in their passing, life goes on, our hearts keep beating, our bodies keep doing and our minds keep remembering Christmases past as we slip into this moment to hear life  reminding us to smile, to laugh and sing and call out to passers-by, greetings of the season, wishes of the New Year to come.

This is the time of endless nights growing darker. Of day’s light growing weaker in the soft approach of winter solstice, in the coming light of the child’s birth drawing near.

This is a time of waiting for the darkness to pass. Of remembering the day will come beyond the night where we will stand once again beneath a glowing sun and feel the welcoming warmth of its soft embrace reminding us to awaken.

This is a time of waiting and remembering.

************

As I lit the third candle in my advent wreath last night, I whispered aloud the names of those whose lives were lost at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I struggled to include the name of Adam Lanza, 20. And yet, I knew I must, for he was lost, even before he stepped through the doors of the school, he was lost. And so I whispered a prayer for all those who have taken life through violence and for all those who have lost their lives at the hands of another. For the only way I know to be at peace with what is lost, is to move into that which would hold me separate from remembering there is always peace, hope, love and joy when I surrender and fall into grace.

Charlotte Bacon, 6

Olivia Engel, 6

Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 6

Dylan Hockley, 6

Madeleine F. Hsu, 6

Catherine V. Hubbard, 6

Jesse Lewis, 6

James Mattioli, 6

Emilie Parker, 6

Jack Pinto, 6,

Noah Pozner, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6

Jessica Rekos, 6

Avielle Richman, 6

Benjamin Wheeler, 6

Allison N. Wyatt, 6

Daniel Barden, 7

Josephine Gay, 7

Chase Kowalski, 7

Grace McDonnell, 7

Victoria Soto, 27

Rachel Davino, 29

Lauren Rousseau, 30

Dawn Hochsprung, 47

Nancy Lanza, 52

Anne Marie Murphy, 52

Mary Sherlach, 56

To love is to feel your death

 Thank you Maureen Doallas for the names of the children and their teachers and the poem citation. (Writing Without Paper)

 

Misifusa’s comments reminded me to paste in the video for John Lennon’s “War is Over”. Watching this video I am reminded again — we must make peace.