I cried when I heard the news on Saturday. I cried and my heart was heavy.
On Sunday, I cried again when I told my daughter and her tears flowed as she heard of the loss a family we love dearly has experienced. A loss so incomprehensible. A loss like no other. Their child, a son, brother, nephew, cousin, friend has died. His life ended by the hands of another.
And my heart is heavy.
Just as it has felt the heaviness and the sadness that comes with trying to make sense of the insensible acts of violence we commit every day, somewhere in the world. Those acts that speak of our fear, our blindness, our unwillingness to let go of anger, hatred, racism, sexism, and a host of other characteristics that drive us away from the magnificence of our human condition. Lost to one another, we kill in the name of political right, racial cleansing, religious fervour, or simply a desire to exert dominion over another.
And the words of a song that was the anthem of a generation of anti-war activists and peace-makers drifts into my mind. Pete Seeger’s poem to the futility of war and our human cycle of waging it. “Where have all the flowers gone?” And in response, he asks, “When will they ever learn?”
When will we ever learn? That guns and knives and weapons of all making kill when a human hand pulls the trigger or strikes out.
When will we ever learn?
And my heart is heavy.
As I settled into meditation this morning sadness washed over me, enveloped me. I wanted to push it back, to send it away, to not let it enter. I wanted to not know it and knew I must. I knew I must give it space, give it room to flow. Rather than push it away, I chose instead to sit within it. To let the sadness become me. To feel each droplet of sorrow coursing through my body. I chose to feel it, know it, embrace it. Not just for me, or this family I love, but for all of us, for our humanity lost in the mire of a cycle of violence that wants to keep perpetrating more violence.
We must stop it. And to stop it, we must feel it. We must quit numbing ourselves out, stop kidding ourselves that tougher laws, or the death penalty or whatever justice we deem necessary will stop us from hurting, or killing one another.
Laws don’t stop the killing.
We do. We the people of this planet earth. We, the one’s who hold the guns and knives, who trample over human rights and lives in our endless grasping for more. More land, more drugs, more possessions, more space to claim as our own.
It is the choices we make that make war happen.
We have the power to choose differently. We have the power to act out in peace, in compassion, in love for one another.
We have the power to speak words, commit actions, take steps away from the precipice of anger, and hatred. We have the power to back away from the edge of despising another because of the colour of their skin, or where they kneel to pray or the god they worship or the space they fill that we want.
We the people have the power to change the world.
Let us stop carrying flowers to the graves of the one’s we love. Let us instead hear the call of our human condition calling out the answer to the question, “When will they ever learn?”. Let us answer with the only word that fills our world with hope for a future where our sons and daughters can live without fear of one another, where we their parents can send them out into the world without worrying about when they will come home. Let us answer, “Now.”
My heart is heavy this morning. I can feel it. But I cannot give way to this sadness, this despair, this hopelessness that wants to envelop me and keep me from speaking out against violence, war, hatred. I will not. For I know that to make peace happen, I must actively engage in becoming the peace I want to see in the world. We must all do whatever we can, whatever is possible to put down our arms of destruction and hold out arms of compassion. And in each act of compassion, may flowers grow on the battlefields, may young girls walk safely amongst the blossoms and may young men come home to where the answer is no longer, “blowin’ in the wind”, as we used to sing in answer to the question, Where have all the flowers gone?
Let us embrace the answer that is here, in our hearts, in our human condition holding out hands filled with all that we need to love one another without fearing the answer to “When will we ever learn?” is never.
Dare Boldly 
I feel like lobbying for a different LIKE button for posts such as these… How about a HUGS button WordPress??
I love your writing style! Sorry for your loss… so eloquently written… may your message bring new hope!
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So very sorry, Louise!
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Hugs Alyssa.
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So sorry to here about a life lost too soon. Hugs to you and yours
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Thank you Fi. Hugs back.
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Thank you Julie. Hugs.
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So terribly sad. Your words are good.
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Oh, Louise! So sorry to read this. I admire you for talking about it and stating how you allowed yourself to feel the grief and let the process course through you. This was so well stated. It is so amazing, the different ways we react to things. It’s something I plan to touch on a lot on my blog because my reactions to deaths have been so varied throughout my life. It’s curious to me. You didn’t say what the situation here was exactly, but it sounds tragic and my thoughts and prayers go out to those involved. I was just reading an article today on Canadians and how they are much calmer than Americans. So bizarre how different areas are affected in our world by war, evil, etc. My prayer is that all nations will someday know peace, but I know that it is unlikely we will see such a thing in our lifetime. I am sorry for the sorrow you are forced to feel 😦
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Hello lovely Cynthia. It was conscious on my part to not delve into the facts as no matter how it happened, it is a tragedy and it was a senseless act of violence. A 21 year old man with a life ahead of him is gone, and a 19 year old man, and 17 year old girl are arrested — and everything shifts. this affects not just one family but many — it affects whole community.
I believe we need to hold space for peace. It is the only way we can hold the truth of its possibility.
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Louise you stated it all so well – and it’s so true. The sadness and hopelessness I feel for his beautiful boy, his parents. his sister, his relatives and friends, there are not words. I can not imagine the pain that his love ones are feeling. It’s so senseless. How could someone do this? I’ve had many cries, and my heart too is heavy. I feel desperate and I so wish i could turn the clock back and make things right.
He was the son of such loving, caring and compassionate parents, and he’s been taken away – they both have supported and given so much love unconditionally to so many others, helped others turn their lives around, and have been instrumental is saving lives. It all doesn’t make sense and it’s just not fair.
Thank you for your words.
You’re an inspiration Louise and you truly do make a difference.
Jane
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It isn’t fair Jane — and that’s the sad part. Fairness has nothing to do with it and like you, if I could turn back the hands of time… but none of us can.
Thank you my beautiful friend. xo
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Namaste. There is no other word to speak in the presence of such an act.
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Yes Maureen. Nameste.
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I am sorry for their loss and yours of this young man, and for his loss as well. And i am sorry for the greed and fear and evil in all humans that ends up in war.
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Thank you Nance.
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I am so sorry, This is a beautiful response. Now! Yes Now! And the next moment and the next. And forever. I’m so sorry. There are no words to comfort, just another crying heart and a commitment to learn. I hear you.
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Thank you Jodi. I think, if we all make the commitment to learn, to be at peace, now, and now and into every moment following, we can create a different world. Let’s do it! Now!
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Very sad and I don’t know when we’ll learn. I wonder why we have such a violent tendency.
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it is a question I struggle with — becuase with our violent tendencies are also these great capacities for love and grace and doing amazing things.
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My condolences on this sad loss, and thank you for these words, which I have shared on my Facebook page along with the link to your post:
“Let us stop carrying flowers to the graves of the one’s we love. Let us instead hear the call of our human condition calling out the answer to the question, “When will they ever learn?”. Let us answer with the only word that fills our world with hope for a future where our sons and daughters can live without fear of one another, where we their parents can send them out into the world without worrying about when they will come home. Let us answer, “Now.”
This is true, I think, whether it is in a country that has gone through a war, as so many in Africa have, or about North American or European countries. We are all neighbours; all a part of the whole village that raises our children together. Only when we stop being afraid of each other will people stop feeling the need to have guns to protect themselves from others.
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Hello Hopebuilding — thank you. It is true — for all of us, no matter where in the world we are, or our condition — we are all part of the whole and within the whole we need to learn to live in peace. Hugs
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Beautifully stated, and all so very true. The sadness from the continuing senseless acts of violence toward each other is at times overwhelming. We have the power to change this, and it is up to us, each of us to make change happen.
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Thank you Josie — and yes, it is. Time. for each of us. Hugs
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