“It’s all too easy to sit back, observe what the problems are, and fall into a state of despair or cynicism. It takes spiritual courage to step forward and begin to take responsibility for the solutions.” Andrew Cohen
It has been a busy last few weeks. From meditating with Mark Nepo at the beginning of February to organizing a workshop for a 100 people on the 26th to producing a 15 minute documentary on Housing First and showcasing it at a Community Summit for 450 people last week, while also writing, February flew by leaving me breathless in its passing.
Time to slow down, breathe deeply and begin again.
Always begin again.
Perhaps that should be my mantra for 2013. Always begin again.
In the Bhagavad Ghita it is written that, Curving back on myself I begin again and again.
Curving back on myself I come back to this point where I must breathe, deeply, and settle into my being present, right now, right here in this moment. In this moment are all the moments that happened in the past. The nothing and the everything that ever was.
In this moment is all I have learned and experienced and known and been on this 14 billion year evolutionary journey to get to this moment right now. This moment where everything is changed from what it was before and everything will change in the moments to come. It is the way of the world. The way of life. The call of the eternal evolutionary impulse that has looked after the future of all since time eternal in its conscious desire to create better in a world of chaos.
The world around us is built upon all those moments, all those knowings and unknownings we have not yet made manifest in our world around us. And sometimes, in that knowing and unknowning I find myself hesitating. Sometimes, I fear what is next and cling to what is now in the hopes it will always be.
To move away from this moment right now where I can rest in what is, requires courage. It requires a commitment and willingness to participate in the evolutionary impulse beyond my capacity to see and feel and know and be what is. It requires a willingness to let go.
I don’t like letting go. In fact, I resist letting go. I resist leaping. I resist undoing what is done so that I can curve back on myself and begin again and again.
I notice my resistance most in those times when I create such busy-ness in my life I do forget to breathe. In those moments, I don’t ‘let go’ so much as let drop. I let those things that require my conscious attention fall away so that I can focus on the task at hand without the distraction of the daily details of living interfering with my progress.
It’s a good thing — sometimes — it means I get the job done.
It’s not a good thing in others ways — because in my singular focus I can lose sight of not just the daily details, I can lose sight of the bigger picture, the greater context of being human in the 21st century.
I can forget my role in the evolutionary impulse.
Grounded in my timelines and outcomes, I forget to pay attention to how I am being in the world around me. And in my forgetfulness, I let myself slip into the confusion of believing I am not doing enough, I am not good enough, not enough. I fall into that disillusionment fraught space where I wonder…. ‘what’s the point’? In that place, I don’t return phone calls, I don’t answer emails, I don’t turn up, conscious and aware of my responsibility to be present.
And in my lack of presence, I create less of what I want in the world.
Time to take a breath. Get present. Get back to what I know creates more of what I want in my life, and in the world around me. Time to let go of feeling the despair of having to backtrack and pick up the pieces. Time to fall instead into the grace of knowing as Deepak Chopra writes in his forward to Andrew Cochen’s book, “Evolutionary Enlightenment”, “The divine plan doesn’t need you in order to succeed. But you can choose to have it succeed through you.”
I choose to have it succeed through me. I choose to begin again, to open my consciousness and conscience to being fully present and aware of my role in living up to my higher truths and passionate desire to be part of the solutions to create a more vibrant, beautiful and loving world.