Dare boldly

A blog by Louise Gallagher

My Contract

12 Comments

I am finally feeling as though I’m catching up on lost sleep. Finally awakening without rolling over and hitting snooze. And that little voice within me wants to whisper, in it’s oh so critical way, “It’s about time, you lazy bum. There’s no time to be tired. Get going.”

And I push it away (the voice that is) with a loving touch and remind myself, “It is as it is and as it is and as I am is all okay.”

One of the areas we spend a lot of time working on in the Choices training room, and an area that trips most of us up, is our tapes. Those thoughts we repeatedly cycle through our minds that tell us we are failing, falling, losing our grip. Those messages we’ve carried from the ‘then and there’ into the ‘here and now’ that would have us believe we can’t, don’t, won’t, will never, measure up, be enough, have enough, do enough, give enough.

And telling myself there’s no time to rest, no time to take time for myself, is a tape I’ve carried a long, long time. It doesn’t work for me very well, but a tape doesn’t care about how well it works for me. Like most lies, it only wants to be believed.

I have a lot of tapes. From I’m too short to I’m too loud, to I can’t do it, to I should have known better or it’s all my fault. My tapes are not my friends. Though often, they’ll dress themselves up under the guise of being good for me, they always hold me back with their limiting belief that I am not enough just the way I am. They are always critical of the work I’ve done, the place I hold, the way I am. Tapes limit the expression of my magnificence because they would have me believe, I am nothing but…. a loser. A lost cause. A failure. A fraud.

The gift of knowing I have tapes is that when they do arise, when they do leap in to fill the gap or trick me, I catch them before they push me down. And while sometimes I don’t see them until they’re front and centre and screaming in my mind, I am better able to redirect their intention to shut me up, or shut me down. I am better equipped to recognize their lie and override them with the truth of my contract statement — My personal statement that connects me to the pact I made with myself to always live my more, to always live leaning into the unknown of who I am in a world of wonder — I am an alive and radiant woman.

Living my contract is a personal commitment I made when first I went through Choices and claimed the more of what I want in my life — more joy, passion, love, commitment, happiness. To  live it, to be it, I needed to arm myself with the strongest statement I could make that would remind me — I am not my tapes. My tapes are not my friend. And today, stating, I am an alive and radiant woman, awakens my passion, my awe and my desire to express my magnificence with every breath, every step, every thing I do and say and create.

Living on contract keeps me dancing with joy, no matter the weather. It keeps me singing as if the world is singing with me. It keeps me living in the radiance of being alive, every moment of every day.

It is a beautiful morning today. The sky is clear. The snow has melted and though the grass is brown and the trees still bare of leaves, the promise of life shimmers in the golden light of sunrise breaking across the horizon.

It’s a beautiful morning. Time to live it up on the other side of my comfort zone. Time to laugh and dance and sing and kick up my heels and be all that I am when I let go of believing who I am doesn’t make a difference.

We all make a difference. What that difference is, is expressed in how we live each day.

Namaste.

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Author: Louise Gallagher

I believe we each have the capacity to be the change we want to see in the world, to make a world of difference. I believe we are creative beings on the journey of our lifetimes. It's up to each of us to Live It Up and SHINE!

12 thoughts on “My Contract

  1. You have my heart with all these wonderful metaphors you have been sharing!
    I also have tapes! Some I need to just keep packed away! I tend to fast forward too much or rewind. Today I will just push PLAY! Thank you for the reminder! 😉

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  2. LG,

    Acceptance, or rejection, of our tapes … interesting discussion. Is it possible to live and not have some? Some are horrid, for rejecting and discarding – but not for denying, because they are part of who we are. Some for embraicing, because we ARE those tapes and they are more good than bad, more clear and pure than tarnished messes.

    A question for you, and for me, from this . . . for today or tomorrow, are we playing an old tape – or are making a new one?

    We are who we are today. We are not who we were yesterday, unless we repeat that today, and then we are.

    Who will we be tomorrow?

    Events of ech day direct us , more than we direct them, but must it be that way?

    There is ONLY today – it is where we live and dwell – so dwelling on the past which we cannot change or dwelling in the future which we can neither predict or control, do not make sense.

    Here, now – sent from my dwelling to yours,
    Mark

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  3. Both of you bring up good points — Mark and Diane — PLAY is sooooo important and I think Mark it is the power the past holds over us that is the problem. what I have found is that my tapes will trigger unexpectedly when something reminds me of some unresolved aspect of the past — and the gift is in being able to acknowledge it, and move through it without trying to make it into something it isn’t, without holding onto it as my truth today.

    We can’t avoid having tapes — it’s what we do as humans — we can change how they direct us to underplay our lives versus PLAY and LIVE without fearing them.

    Hugs to you both.

    L

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  4. Exactly what I needed to read this morning. I was triggered by a tape at work yesterday. I full on snapped. And while I spent time in the afternoon and part of the evening feeling embarrassed and berating myself for my behaviour in front of my colleagues I used my tools to find value in the experience. I slept well and woke up knowing that today is a new day. I am a vulnerable woman. The lies I tell myself are I’m not smart enough, I’m a fraud, I don’t deserve this position. The TRUTH is I am am intelligent woman. I worked hard for my credentials and who I am makes a difference.
    Deep breath, breath in this knowing, breath out gratitude.

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  5. It is great having a personal contract with yourself to set you on your path, the path that is right for you.
    You are one to follow in these words of wisdom.

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  6. I have a few tapes myself! I can so relate to this post.

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  7. What a great post I enjoyed this thank you………..I use to have tapes but no longer they all go caught in the player and decided to get up and leave me………..

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