I knew it was there. Could feel it. Sense it. Perceive it.
I seldom have to go looking for it. It’s always there. Always lurking, pulling me back, stopping me up, pushing me away from my desire to live life fully in the rapture of now.
It doesn’t have to sneak up, slink in, or crawl under my defences. It just is. There. Here. Present. Even in times like last night, when I am deep into meditation, connected to the light of our group circle, it turns up. I’d say it’s uninvited but seriously, it’s so accustomed to being present, it doesn’t need an invitation.
It just is. My resistance.
And there it was, as I tripped the night fantastic of a meditation circle focused on experiencing the light of the Wesak moon. There it was, pulling at me, picking at my peace of mind, disturbing my equilibrium.
Surrender thy will, the voice of knowing whispered. Surrender thy will.
I didn’t want to. Surrender. Surrender means to give in. To let go. To release my control.
I don’t like giving up control.
Surrender thy will, the voice whispered in a loving stream of consciousness that floated out all around me into the star lit night. Surrender thy will.
And tears flooded my eyes.
Surrender thy will.
I breathed. And surrendered and was bathed in the beautiful light of Love that radiated out from my heart into the night. And in that light I was One with the One. I was immersed in the power of the moment where I was completely, totally, at peace, right where I was, exactly as I was born to be. In that light I was the One I was waiting for. I was the reflection of Love that flowed in and all around me. And I knew, without fear, without hesitation, without question, we are all the beauty and the magnificence of our being who we are meant to be when we let go of resisting our magnificence, our beauty, our Love.
It was a powerful meditation last night. A circle so connected that in its radiance I felt my heart break open, my soul shift in delight, my spirit spread its wings. In its beauty, I found myself surrendering my will to let Love be all that I am, all that I know, all that I become in Love.
There is no need to resist. No need to hold onto control. To hold back on surrender. There is no need unmet, no need unknown, no need to need, when I breathe into the light and surrender my will to Love.