They’ve made it to Amsterdam. That I know for sure. Sometime during the night a message arrived on my phone telling me my daughter and her girlfriend were waiting for their flight to Istanbul and then, Izmir where their friend who they met when they were at University in the Netherlands is picking them up. She’s safe. Excited. Happy.
And I am nervous.
This is my baby-girl, off on a world adventure into an area that is experiencing unrest. She is far from home. In a country that speaks a different language, uses a different alphabet and practices a different religion.
And then I read this quote by Craig Groeschel: What you fear most reveals what you value most and where you trust God least.
Oh oh. I know I value my daughter’s life most — it’s the ‘where I trust God least’ that rattles my thinking.
‘Cause really? Is it that I don’t trust God to turn up in other cultures that I fear what might happen if she is in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people with the wrong idea of what is right and what is wrong? Is it that I can’t control what happens in her life any more?
The fact that she is off adventuring in the world, living her life for all she’s worth gives me great joy. She is willing to go meet the world on her terms. She is willing to travel half way around the world to experience — different cultures, languages, people, places, foods, sights and sounds. My daughter is brave and confident. She is everything I have ever dreamed she would be.
And still I worry.
But then, I am a mother. Even if there weren’t demonstrations happening around the country, I’d probably be worrying about her travelling so far from home if only because, she’s my daughter, and it’s a mother’s right, and rite, to worry!
Is this what I want more of in my life? Worry? Unrest? Distrust?
I’m giving it up. Not the being a mother part. Just the ‘it’s my right to worry and dang it, I’m gonna worry myself sick’ part.
All the worry in the world won’t change where she is in the world. It might change my appreciation of her adventures though. And, without worry, maybe I can simply step into being joyful for her courage and willingness to experience the world. Maybe without worry, I can simply trust in my daughter’s ability to take care of herself . Maybe without worry, she won’t be worrying about my worry and will simply be revelling in the experience of where she is at this moment in time and space experiencing all that she can of life far from home.
Maybe without worry, I can Let go and let God.
Because no matter the language, creed, or place, no matter the pew in which we pray, or the direction in which we bow, or the offerings we place upon an altar, when we are open and loving, kind and caring, trusting and trustworthy, God manifests magnificently in our hearts and in our world. When we let go of fear, judgement and condemnation of one another, God shines brightly in the spaces between us and within us.
I don’t call myself a Christian. I don’t follow any one faith or creed. I see myself as a spiritual being on the journey of her lifetime. I see God in every breath and beleive we are designed to take God’s breath away. And in my journey, trusting in the Universe, knowing the many names of God and trusting in God by any name means — letting go of fear and worry. When I trust in God’s capacity to be with me, knowing God’s desire for me and you and all of us is to shine, to radiate love and joy and peace brings me great love and joy and peace.
My daughter is on her way to Istanbuhl. She is on the adventure of her choosing. She is in God’s embrace and I am happy knowing she is safe.
In my heart I know… God is Love and in Love, there is nothing to fear.
Breathing, peace enters my heart and expands my being into knowing, when I trust in Love, there is nothing to fear. No matter what happens, in Love is all I need to meet what life presents.
I am blessed with so many gifts and today, I shall cherish and revel in the gift of knowing, my daughter is safe in God’s embrace, experiencing life on her terms.