A week ago, my eldest daughter wrote on her blog, Living In Wunder, about something that happened to her that was scary, terrifying, nullifying and just plain wrong. While out with a couple of girlfriends, they got separated and someone slipped something into her drink. She lost all track of time, all sense of where she was and who she was or what she was doing. Her mind is completely blank as to what went on during those hours and she must piece what pieces she can together through what others tell her happened. Fortunately, it was not as horrifying as it might have been if a friend hadn’t found her and taken her home.
It is wrong and it is sad that there are those who believe they have the right to drug someone so they can take advantage of them in their altered state. It is wrong and sad that women have to go out in groups, watch their drinks and be always on guard against this kind of action. It is wrong and sad that women must adapt their behaviours, the way they dress, where they go, who they’re with in order to protect themselves against others. It is wrong.
What is right though in this instance is the fact my daughter is not allowing this criminal act to define her. She is not allowing it to measure the joy she feels in each day, the beauty she sees in the world around her and the possibilities she feels in living in the place where she stands in Love and her dreams take flight and .
It is my dream come true.
If I have one wish for my daughters it is that they have the courage, strength, support and belief in themselves to weather all of life’s storms. It is that they know, no matter what life throws at them, they are strong, beautiful, wise and capable of greatness. That they have wings to rise above the noise and find their truth shining in the light above. It is that they are Loved and Love. They are Loving and Lovable.
My dream is true.
I was frightened when I heard of what happened to my daughter. Frightened that this would drag her back into the darkness of not believing in herself. Of feeling less than, other than, not good enough. I was frightened that this stranger who thought they had the right to do whatever they wanted in another human being’s life just because they decided they could, would steal away her beautiful heart and break it into pieces.
My fear was blind.
Truth is, my daughters are courageous and strong. Their lives are filled with people who love and support them, and more than anything, they love and believe in themselves. And from that place they can and will weather life’s storms. They can and will rise above the noise other people make to distract them from their beauty, their courage and their capacity to live their lives in that place where dreams come true.
Truth is, people will do mean, ugly, criminal things to each other in this world. They will fight and scratch and crawl over one another to get what they want. Some will use others as a means to take what they want — regardless of how their acts impact the other.
What is most important for me, and what my daughter has so clearly shown me over the past week, is what other people do in my life is not what defines me. What I do is the measure of my worth. How I am in the world is the essence of my being, free, loving, compassionate and true to who I am.
My daughters are young women now. They live on their own, one lives far away, the other is currently in the same city but will be travelling to another country next year to go back to university. They have lives to live, dreams to unfold, challenges to overcome and mountains to summit.
My job is to celebrate their journey. To cheer them on no matter where they go. I can’t stop their falls. I can’t be there to catch them. But I can be there to help them get back up should they stumble. I can be there to love and support and honour and cherish them no matter where they are in the world, no matter where they go or where they fall. I can be there to Love them and to celebrate them as they spread their wings and breathe into the beauty and wonder of who they are when they live in that place where dreams come true and they are living their truth, their beauty, their wonder.
And so it is.