I am taking my beloved to the hospital this morning to have a cancerous spot on his face removed.
They say it’s not life-threatening.
They say it’s not of concern.
They didn’t ask me.
What my mind knows is not always what my thinking listens to, and given the dreams I had last night, I think my thinking may have been stinking up my mind.
I read somewhere that 15% of what we think is conscious. The rest is all subconscious.
No wonder my dreams were in high gear. They must have been fuelled by my subconscious fear and anxiety.
The only recourse is to get conscious of what I am thinking and put out the stinkin’ thinkin’ in the trash.
Scott Peck writes in, People of the Lie, about the importance of acknowledging the shadow. He equates it with taking out the garbage. You can’t just ignore it. It won’t go away by itself. If you don’t take it out, you are at risk of disease, unwanted pests and other calamities — all because you refused to acknowledge the garbage needed dealing with.
The shadow’s like that. It often contains those aspects of ourselves we don’t want to look at, or love, or acknowledge we possess. When we avoid the shadow, or refuse to acknowledge its presence, we are at risk of the shadow taking over our lives.
Consciously, my mind hears what my beloved has told me about the doctor’s comments concerning the cancer on his face.
Subconsciously, my mind kicks up a fuss because it thinks it knows best.
How do I tell it that it doesn’t?
How do I reach my subconscious and quiet my fears that are based on nothing other than…. fear of the unknown?
Meditation helps. And so does staying conscious with my thinking. Staying clear of the shadows where fear lurks.
It isn’t always easy. The mind is a shadowy place. It likes to hold secrets, keep fears intact and doors shut.
My job is to not be confused by my mind’s desire to control me through fear based projections of the future. My job is to not negative fortune tell and to stay in the present where what is known is the best information I have to work with, and create with.
So… in 20 minutes I must take C.C. to the hospital for a procedure that will remove what doctors have told him is a non-life threatening spot of cancer.
I’m going with that.
I’m staying in the now.
And, in this place of being present, I’m taking my stinkin’ thinkin’ for a walk out to the black bin in the laneway behind the garage where it belongs.