I am taking my beloved to the hospital this morning to have a cancerous spot on his face removed.
They say it’s not life-threatening.
They say it’s not of concern.
They didn’t ask me.
What my mind knows is not always what my thinking listens to, and given the dreams I had last night, I think my thinking may have been stinking up my mind.
I read somewhere that 15% of what we think is conscious. The rest is all subconscious.
No wonder my dreams were in high gear. They must have been fuelled by my subconscious fear and anxiety.
The only recourse is to get conscious of what I am thinking and put out the stinkin’ thinkin’ in the trash.
Scott Peck writes in, People of the Lie, about the importance of acknowledging the shadow. He equates it with taking out the garbage. You can’t just ignore it. It won’t go away by itself. If you don’t take it out, you are at risk of disease, unwanted pests and other calamities — all because you refused to acknowledge the garbage needed dealing with.
The shadow’s like that. It often contains those aspects of ourselves we don’t want to look at, or love, or acknowledge we possess. When we avoid the shadow, or refuse to acknowledge its presence, we are at risk of the shadow taking over our lives.
Consciously, my mind hears what my beloved has told me about the doctor’s comments concerning the cancer on his face.
Subconsciously, my mind kicks up a fuss because it thinks it knows best.
How do I tell it that it doesn’t?
How do I reach my subconscious and quiet my fears that are based on nothing other than…. fear of the unknown?
Meditation helps. And so does staying conscious with my thinking. Staying clear of the shadows where fear lurks.
It isn’t always easy. The mind is a shadowy place. It likes to hold secrets, keep fears intact and doors shut.
My job is to not be confused by my mind’s desire to control me through fear based projections of the future. My job is to not negative fortune tell and to stay in the present where what is known is the best information I have to work with, and create with.
So… in 20 minutes I must take C.C. to the hospital for a procedure that will remove what doctors have told him is a non-life threatening spot of cancer.
I’m going with that.
I’m staying in the now.
And, in this place of being present, I’m taking my stinkin’ thinkin’ for a walk out to the black bin in the laneway behind the garage where it belongs.
Namaste.
Dare Boldly 
I’m there with you, Louise!!
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Thank you Ann — your presence is very welcome and appreciated.
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I’ve had some weird and vivid dreams as of late. I wonder what my unconscious is trying to tell me? Time to peer into the shadows, I guess.
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Ah yes. Those shadows calling…. Hugs Jennifer.
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It’s a challenge, isn’t it?!
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That it is Susan. Blessings to you my friend. Your photos always remind me to see the beauty in every small glance and thing.
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That stinkin thinkin can be our own worst enemy at times. Hope all goes well. hugs
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Thanks Lisa. I’ve decided to trust the doctors — go figure! 🙂 Hugs back.
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I agree with you. Don’t just ignore the fear. Sit with it. Feel it. Trace it’s origins. Accept it. It abates much faster that way than trying to resist. I join you in spirit…..I will be on day 6 at the hospital. My mother-in-law is on her last days, and we are just sending all the love to her we can before she crosses over. Blessings to your beloved and you.
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I am so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law — what a blessing to have you there sending all the love you can. Blessings to you too.
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(((HUGS)))!!! I do the same thing Louise. I recently read it’s common for creative people to be anxious about the future. Creative people are visionaries; if you can visualize a beautiful future, as you often do – you can also visualize an ugly one. Two sides of one coin. I wouldn’t trade my vision to avoid the occasional anxiety though. You are handling it well by deciding to stay present and conscious in your thinking! I will employ that process the next time I feel it. ❤
Diana xo
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Ok. so that makes me feel kinda better Diana! 🙂 It’s just my creative mind engaging in negative fortune-telling! So true about the two sides of the coin. Thank you my friend for being present and for sharing your vision. Hugs
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Breathe fully and connect to your inner wisdom and courage.
At times like this I remind myself that fear resides in my mind. Love and courage in my heart.
Find some time to get out of your head and connect with body and spirit once more.
Sending you a virtual hug.
Val
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Thank you Val — I like your reminder to breathe fully and connect to inner wisdom and courage. I had an hour while waiting so came home and took Ellie for a walk along the escarpment in the sun — I sat on the hillside overlooking the river and simply stayed present. it was perfect.
I’ve just brought him home — and all is well. The Dr. says he got it all. 🙂
Hugs back.
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What wonderful news! Woohoo! Skippy dance!!
Glad you found peace with the dog in nature on this roller coaster called life ….
Val x
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Yesterday the critters and now the stinkin’ thinkin’? Oh, how the mind works!
I have been working on those voices of mine lately too, and your last two posts have resonated with me.
I had never thought of the black bin. I will try that 🙂
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LOL — I know! busy mind and all that jazz! 🙂
Hope the black bin works — it is fascinating to see how full it can get! tee hee!
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Yes what a great post
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Thx Joanne!
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Thinking of you both!
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Thank you Julie. He is home and all is well. Dr. says he got it all — I’m going to choose to believe in the Dr. 🙂
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Yes, Ants has had several of these over the years – glad the dr says he got it all.
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