Kelly Clarkson’s song, Catch My Breath, is playing in my head this morning. I heard it over the weekend and it continues to resonate…
Catching my breath, letting it go,
Turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life,
I won’t be told what’s supposed to be right
Catch my breath, no one can hold me back,
I ain’t got time for that
Catch my breath, won’t let them get me down,
It’s all so simple now….
This is my life.
And these past five days I got to spend it somewhere I love — in the Choices seminar room. What a gift.
This was the first time I didn’t have a small group to lead and instead, spent my time at the back table helping to keep the room flowing. It was a great opportunity to observe the room in action. To see how one process builds on the last, establishing the foundation for the next.
It is an incredibly intricate and deep foundation that, over the five days, moves each person from that place of walking into the room on the first day where the unknown is staring them in the eyes, to leaving on Sunday evening where all that surrounds and supports them as they stand looking into the eyes of their fellow travellers is Love.
It is one of the things I appreciate so much about the program. Each person in that room has gone through every single step of the journey as a trainee before asking someone else to take it. Every single person has experienced the fear and anxiety of awakening to the wonderment and the awe of coming alive to the truth of their own magnificence and capacity to live out loud.
In my staying involved in the program I believe I have given both my daughters one of the greatest gifts I could give them and me — My commitment to living my life awake and alive, in that place where Love is always the answer no matter the circumstance. And, in my staying involved, they have both stayed involved which means that my heart knows they have the tools and ability to live their lives out loud. My heart knows the choices they make in their lives are based on their strength of character, and not fear or anger of the past.
Mary Davis, who is the daughter of Choices founder, Thelma Box, and I were talking about how as my daughters and I healed from the trauma of the past, we have built a foundation where we are not constantly trying to deal with or run away from the pain of what happened in the ‘there and then’ but are instead, living in the ‘here and now’. In forgiving the past, shame and blame and anger and all the junk that hurt us has melted away leaving only Love to fill our hearts. In Love, I trust each of my daughters to live their own lives in grace. Knowing that each step they take is not founded on the fear of the past becoming the future, I know they have the courage, the strength and the self-love they need to take each step of their journey grounded in the truth of who they are, magnificence, incredible, amazing women of worth. In their truth, they have tools to handle lifes ups and down while staying true to their hearts.
It is a wonderful gift for my mother’s heart to trust and not fear. To love and not hide. To breathe and not be constantly running away from the truth to catch my breath.