Not everything that is faced can be changed;
but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
~ James Baldwin ~
I am on a diet. Yup. The wedding looms and I stepped onto the scale and scared myself! How did I let 10 pounds creep back on?
But wait! Maybe they didn’t creep on. Excess pounds are sneaky little devils. Maybe they just sort of snuck in while I was sleeping and attached themselves to my body in the dark of night with the stealth of barnacles clinging to a whale.
Oh right, Not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
Time to face the truth. They didn’t sneak in during the night and they’re not some seaworld crustacean clinging to my flesh.
They are self created examples of me not paying attention. They are the result of me not balancing what I was eating with how much energy I was expending. When food in is greater than energy out, weight adds up to greater than what I want, need, is healthy for me or even desirable.
Oh, and then there’s the fact that I might have been, ok, no ‘might have been’ about it, I was not eating what was healthy, nurturing and good for me. I was all out into junk!
In times of stress, or when I’m tired, I am more apt to think the things that are not good for me are perfect. They call to me, inveigling their way into my lesser goodness-self, shadowing my inner wisdom with thoughts of, “it’s ok. you’re tired. You’ve worked so hard. You deserve a break. Worry about it tomorrow. Right now, you need to focus on the task at hand and not think about what’s good for you. Why beat yourself up for not eating healthily? Why not let yourself have a little give and take?”
The give and take becomes more giving in to the unhealthy and taking on the pounds and inches!
Just to be clear. I am not beating myself up about 10 extra pounds.
What I am doing is getting clear and focused on what I want. And going public with my belief I deserve only the best.
When I get clear on what I want, the path to what I want is clear and less becomes doing more of what I want in my life.
I want to be healthy. I want to feel healthy. I want to feel energized, excited about everyday. I want to wake up every morning feeling like this truly is the best day of my life to live well and live fully in the rapture of now.
That means finding value in all things.
It means being truly committed to living my best life yet. It means focusing on what I can change, and letting the things I can’t change go.
I can’t change the fact I allowed myself to indulge in bad behaviour for the past couple of months or so.
Just as I can’t change the past, I can’t change the fact I am 10 pounds heavier today because I quit doing the things I know create balance and harmony in my being present in this world everyday.
What I can change is what happens now. What I do next.
It means, I can change my focus on what happened, and turn to what I can do, now.
That means, loving myself completely and doing the things I know nurture and nourish me into well-being. It means loving me as I am present today and moving with grace and ease into eating well, exercising, and meditating — All three of those very important foundational elements of my daily routine have been missing from my daily routine for awhile.
Always begin again.