Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you. — Andrew Murray
I wrote last week about The Fall. About landing on the cold, hard cement in front of my office building downtown and the mind chatter that ensued.
At Choices last week, while chatting with another coach about monkey mind chatter, I shared what happened and told them that I was shocked to see how, even before I knew if I’d broken anything or not, my mind immediately leaped to that place of, “OMG! I hope no one saw me!”
Imagine. Lying on the ground, not even sure if I am hurt or not and all I can think about is my pride.
On Monday, I gave a presentation on homelessness to a group of University students. After the presentation, a woman came up to share the story about her daughter.
“She’s lived in a group home for 20 years,” she shared. And she told me about some of the things she’d done to protect her daughter’s well-being and to ensure she always had a nest egg to support her, no matter what happened to her mother.
“The Public Trustee manages her money,” she told me. “Yet, when I tell other parents about what a great job the Public Trustee has done for my daughter, they balk and say, ‘no way’. Their pride won’t let them use a resource that makes a positive difference.”
Pride. We all have it to varying degrees. And we all suffer its consequences.
When I was lying on the ground, my pride said, “You look ridiculous. People will think you are…. weak, stupid, drunk, ignoble… A host of impressions my pride could not abide.
Truth is, after falling to the ground, it would have been wonderful to have someone come over and ask me if I was okay. To offer to help me back up. To see that I had fallen and ensure that I was okay. Deep within me was a need to be cared for, cherished, helped.
Instead, my pride would have me believe, I did not need anyone’s help. I did not need assistance. I did not deserve someone else’s concern.
English cleric Charles Caleb Colton said it well centuries ago,
Where does pride hold you back? Where are you not asking for what you want because pride tells you not to?