Pride: it cometh after the fall too

Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you.     — Andrew Murray

I wrote last week about The Fall. About landing on the cold, hard cement in front of my office building downtown and the mind chatter that ensued.

At Choices last week, while chatting with another coach about monkey mind chatter, I shared what happened and told them that I was shocked to see how, even before I knew if I’d broken anything or not, my mind immediately leaped to that place of, “OMG! I hope no one saw me!”

Imagine. Lying on the ground, not even sure if I am hurt or not and all I can think about is my pride.

On Monday, I gave a presentation on homelessness to a group of University students. After the presentation, a woman came up to share the story about her daughter.

“She’s lived in a group home for 20 years,” she shared. And she told me about some of the things she’d done to protect her daughter’s well-being and to ensure she always had a nest egg to support her, no matter what happened to her mother.

“The Public Trustee manages her money,” she told me. “Yet, when I tell other parents about what a great job the Public Trustee has done for my daughter, they balk and say, ‘no way’. Their pride won’t let them use a resource that makes a positive difference.”

Pride. We all have it to varying degrees. And we all suffer its consequences.

When I was lying on the ground, my pride said, “You look ridiculous. People will think you are…. weak, stupid, drunk, ignoble…  A host of impressions my pride could not abide.

Truth is, after falling to the ground, it would have been wonderful to have someone come over and ask me if I was okay. To offer to help me back up. To see that I had fallen and ensure that I was okay. Deep within me was a need to be cared for, cherished, helped.

Instead, my pride would have me believe, I did not need anyone’s help. I did not need assistance. I did not deserve someone else’s concern.

English cleric Charles Caleb Colton said it well centuries ago,

pride quote

Where does pride hold you back? Where are you not asking for what you want because pride tells you not to?


14 thoughts on “Pride: it cometh after the fall too

  1. I owned my own business for almost twenty years. Ever since I was around thirty I did art shows and made a good living with my husband’s paycheck and mine. In my late forties I was able to open up a shop I’d dreamt about for years. Almost three years later we’d grown into quite the talk of the town. And then BAMM lost it due to a devastating earthquake.
    Thus the pride part… I won’t say we lost everything because two ladies died in it that worked next door. Our home was just a mess but we didn’t lose it, etc.
    But we lost enough to not be able to reopen. It was a surreal experience. FEMA may be great in some occasions but after trapsing through a lot of red tape it was worthless to us, while others who actually lost nothing were using it to buy computers for their kids for Christmas! (CRAZZZY!) But i learned a lot about government & Gate Keepers who are in charge of some pretty big decisions and let’s say I wasn’t impressed.
    But the pride does come “after” the fall so to speak! (So sorry about yours!) But you always seem to find the best metaphors in the most painful experiences!
    My pride came in accepting help from family and friends, our church and local businesses & organizations that we’d been involved in. But my pride really got a workout first in accepting a job and working for someone else and then little by little losing myself & working for a dictator that stomped on my pride to boost his own ego. Looking back, now in an amazing job that appreciates my talents and the experience I bring to the table I see it all with a 20/20 perspective. My pride got lost along the way. Kinda due to someone else’s pride. In your story, your pride was a little bit different than mine. I lost mine for ten years. Not by being homeless but by understanding a little, how fast things can change. And forfeiting it, in my case for ten years at a job that chipped a little away everyday. Funny how God works!! Today I’ve been at a new job for almost a year, working for one of my first bosses that actually hired me and have already been promoted to a management position with a raise! The owner of my previous company had a decade of beating me down and in one year it is amazing what a few attagirls can do!
    Sorrrrrry, once again you inspired me to hold your blog hostage while I hog yours! I should really just cut and paste this and write it on my own blog but your post today is my inspiration! I think I have to reblogged it today!😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Boy that’s tough isn’t it. That’s a hard one to overcome, and reason with. I honestly can’t think of anything at the moment that I’m not doing because of pride, but I’m certain I have in the past.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on The One Thing I know For Sure and commented:
    I HiJacked my sweet friend Louise’s blog today by my long winded comment so I had to REBLOG!!!! She always inspires me to the upteenth degree! Obviously! If you don’t know her work, watch her TED video here on her blog… and read some of her past posts! I guarantee you will FOLLOW her and wait on the edge of your seat for her next brilliant post! She is an artist as well! Can you tell I am one FANatical fan?!


  4. Pingback: Proudly Imperfect! | Leading Essentially

  5. Hmm … you got me thinking. There is a difference between pride (a high opinion of oneself) and being proud (satisfaction in self). After a fall (of any kind) it is the former that first comes to mind, but the latter that saves us in the end.


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