Yesterday, in a comment on my post, We are the Betrayed. We are the Betrayers, Val wrote, “I’m not sure if we can kill her off, no matter how much we might want to. My heart says love her more and accept her for what she is, after the pain and betrayals. Where we bring violence – even in our dreams, we feed more violence. Release can only come through love and understanding.”
I remember when the dream was unfolding how I worried about using violence to kill off this part of me that was killing me. “Can you not just love her Louise?” my subconscious wondered aloud to my dream-self.
“If this were a sabre tooth tiger attacking you, and you had to make a choice between life and death, what would you do?” my dream-self asked. “Love it or love yourself enough to claim your right to live?”
And the answer was — claim my right to live.
In the physical world, like Val, I believe using violence is not the road to peace. It is the path to more violence.
In the metaphysical world of my psyche, my dream was not about violence and using it to get what I want.
Looking at it through the lens of choosing between life and death, the violence falls away to reveal truth shimmering in its absence. Life is precious. Life is magnificent. And in the unique expression of my life, I must choose to love my being with all of me, letting go of those parts that fear being all of me.
Standing in the dissonance between life and death, I must choose to live everyday without fearing death. I must choose to be conscious of this beautiful, miraculous gift of life I have been given and honour it, cherish it and treat it with Love in all ways, through all things, with all my being.
In Colin Tipping’s, Radical Forgiveness, he suggests holding a wake for the ‘inner child’ (not the playful, creative inspiring inner child, but the whining little brat who lives in the backroom of our minds). He writes that our spiritual evolution depends heavily upon our recovery from our worst addiction — our addiction to the victim archetype, which traps us in the past and saps our life energy.
I see the killing of that part of me that was killing me as an essential act to let go of my victim archetype and further my spiritual evolution. I see it as an act of love freeing me to be the conduit through which Love flows in its eternal journey of life. In my being with the flow, I become the flow. In the flow, all that exists is Love.