I was leery when we met. Wary of falling into anything, especially Love.
And then he smiled. That soft, gentle, I see into you smile he has that makes my heart feel as if it has wings. As if it has nothing to fear but my fear of falling.
It was impossible to resist that smile, though I tried.
And over the years, I have continued to fall deeper into that smile. Those eyes. That way he has of kissing the back of my neck as if to say there is nowhere else I’d rather be in this moment right now than softly touching the back of your neck with my lips.
I knew him on the periphery of my life for years before we became ‘we’. We have a mutual friend. We went to the same parties. Knew many of the same people.
Years before we would become ‘us’ I tried to pitch him on hiring my firm to provide investor relations consulting. He never did hire us. Doesn’t even remember the encounter.
I do. He wore a black cashmere sweater. Black pants. And he had that smile.
I didn’t see him for years after that. The first time I met him again, it was in the offices he shared with a friend who’d hired me to write their business plan.
I remember him showing me photos of his son and daughter. Playing me music his son had written. He would come over to the desk where I was working, kneel down beside me, slip a CD into the disc-drive of my laptop, and say, “Listen to this.”
It was the position he took when he asked me to marry him.
“Here. Listen to this.” His eyes said as he knelt beside me and handed me his heart.
It has a beautiful song, this heart of my man.
Kind, caring, loving. It beats steady. Strong. Fierce.
It protects. Gives shade. Gives breath. Give wings. Gives strength and hope and flows effortlessly into the possibility of always being more. Free. Connected. Caring. Loving.
Sometimes, I have not treated this heart well. Sometimes, in my fierce resistance to falling, I have pushed back against flight, desperately seeking solid ground.
And always Love has found me. His heart has held me as I have learned to trust his smile, his gentle ways, his loving eyes that see into the heart of me.
I am learning, Resistance is futile in matters of the heart.
Always give way to Love.
Love will show the way.
I am grateful. I am blessed. I am free-falling. Every day. Falling and flying free into Love, to Love, with Love.
And in flight, I find myself lifted up by this one man’s heart. Beating steady. Beating strong. Beating fiercely beneath my wings.
So is the way of Love.
This post was inspired by a memory post offered up by Facebook yesterday.
As I read Alexis’ memories of meeting her fiance, I was reminded once again of the power of Love’s ways.
Thank you to both my daughters and C.C. for being my guides and my teachers in the ways of Love.