Like steam exploding from a bag of just popped, fresh out of the microwave, popcorn, there have been moments in my life when the only answer to address the issues burbling to the top of my consciousness has been to enter therapy.
The only way out is through.
Several weeks ago, when I stood in front of a mob and felt the heat of the anger they hurled at me burning my skin and searing my psyche, I had the courage to turn my back and walk away. It was all that I could do.
Walking away took me out of immediate danger. In walking away, I claimed my power to decide what is welcome, and what is not wanted, in my life.
The challenge with the deeply buried feelings and emotions that awoke through that encounter, is that they do not have separate from me feet to walk away. They are part of me. They have a voice calling out to be heard.
To find peace, I must listen and give them a safe space to be heard.
It is the gift I give myself to clear away vestiges of unease, voices from the past, spaces of discord lurking unknown, unseen until they rise up, in my psyche.
When the student is willing, the teacher appears.
My inner yearnings, my left-over from childhood trauma feelings of unease are all teachers.
To ignore them, to push them back down discredits the voice of truth that is saying, “Here is the door to freedom. Open it. Let me speak and be heard so you can walk through into the light of knowing your truth fearlessly in the now.”
Creating a safe and courageous space for others to explore their value, their worth, their sense of wonder at who they are, was why I started an art studio in a homeless shelter years ago. It was an act of giving through which I received the gifts of connection, friendship, meaning.
It was why I created a studio in our home so that I could explore my creative expression and release my inner yearnings to be free in the safe and courageous space of my studio.
It is all part of the journey, part of the process, part of growing, learning and becoming me.
Being in therapy is the same kind of gift of a safe and courageous space, only this time, I am gifting myself the space and place to speak up, explore, and discover my sense of wonder and awe of who I am when I let go of carrying messages from the past that do not fit my life today.
There is a part of me that wants to run way, to retreat, to go back to sleep.
But I will not. Cannot.
Truth is calling me back. Freedom is drawing me out.
We all encounter moments when we have to make a choice. To stand and fight. To retreat and hide. To hold ourselves in loving kindness as we walk confidently into the unknown spaces of our psyche willing to listen, feel, know the truth within.
The psyche is an amazing place. It holds memory. Thoughts. Feelings. Emotions. Ideas. It is permeable. Resilient. Strong. It can bend with one thought, leap in one breath, fall in one word. It holds us together. It can tear us apart. It connects us to today, and gives us courage to look into the past and see into tomorrow. And always, it holds us in place. Always, it keeps thinking, knowing, feeling, being what it is. Our friend. Our foe. Our greatest strength. Our weakest link. Our essence of being who we are, however we are, no matter what we are.
My psyche is calling me to let go so I can fly free.
I am heeding its call.
What about you? Are you willing to transform your thinking to set yourself free? Are you willing to take a journey into the unknown to discover all you know about being you?
I invite you to explore your options, or, as my inner child would say, I Dare You!